Unfortunately I lost my mother at a very young age. I try not to focus on the void her passing left in my life, but sometimes I do wonder what it would have been like to grow up with her by my side sharing her love and wisdom.
She was a woman who fell in love, got married, and handled life’s ups and downs with pride and grace. I’d give anything to know what advice she would have shared with me when I met the man I knew I’d love like no other, on the day he asked me to marry him, or the moment right before I said I do on my wedding day.
I’ve imagined many different versions of how the conversation would play out. My favorite is the one where she tells me to love fiercely and fearlessly with all my heart and to put my faith in God and my efforts into my marriage. It’s my favorite because it’s what I plan to tell my daughter or son, should I be blessed enough to have one in the future. I’m not a mother just yet, but I know when that day comes I’ll be overjoyed to have the honor of being the one to introduce them to the world and to hold their hand as they learn life’s easy and hard lessons.
I wrote this letter for my future daughter…
Dear (Future) Daughter,
You’re going to hear a lot of things about love and marriage before you’re ready to understand them. That’s okay. That’s what you have me for. There’s more to tell and teach you than one letter could ever hold, but for starters, here are a few things I need you to remember most, and understand early.
1. Love is going to kick your ass before it helps you up.
2. Not every man who says he loves you will mean it – in fact, most won’t.
3. The first time you think you’re in love, you probably aren’t. (Sorry!)
4. If he doesn’t know what he has, don’t wait around for him to realize it.
5. Marry the man who loves you as much as he loves his mother.
6. If you don’t respect yourself, he won’t respect you.
7. Sex can wait, but one day (like when you’re older and married) it will be important. Handle it with care.
8. If a friend’s dating life is a hot mess, she’s not the one to take advice from – ever!
9. If he loves you he’ll want the best for you – even if it means he loses.
10. If he asks you to marry him and you feel any hesitation before you answer, say no. Marriage is a lifelong commitment and no man should rush you to it.
Okay, enough for now. We will certainly talk more about this. Oh, and never forget. I’m here for ANY question on your mind. Even the hard ones! That’s what mom’s are for.
What would or will you tell your daughter? Share your advice below. (If you blog about it, be sure to let me know and share the link!)