If you let most newscasters and bloggers tell it, marriage isn’t “in” anymore. Everywhere I look there’s a new study or story on why people aren’t getting married, waiting much longer to get married, or just plain miserable in their marriages. Yet, as a newly married woman all I can think about some days is how happy I am in my own marriage and how blessed I feel to have found a wonderful man willing to take that journey with me. The truth is, like it or not, marriage can be wonderful if it’s with the right person at the right time. I can’t tell you who or when to marry, but I can give you seven damn good reasons why you should at least believe in the power of marriage. Read them before you pass any judgments, please.
I’d like to think that if I’m only about a year into this thing called marriage and I can already find seven reasons to tell you it’s worth the work, that’s got to be a good sign. Without further ado, here’s my list. (Note: If you’re reading this you’ll love What Marriage Was Designed For over on How Mama Got Her Swag Back) Would love to hear your thoughts and reactions after reading this list – be sure to share below.
1. It can heal you.
Sometimes I realize my husband’s love has slowly but surely healed parts of me I never even knew were broken. If you let it, the love your spouse has for you will repair the pain other parts of your life has caused you – this I promise.
2. Marriage motivates you.
Just like becoming a parent makes you want to be better for the sake of your child, getting married makes you want to be a stronger more present person in your relationship and with your God. You share a life and beliefs with your spouse – the achievements and the consequences – and knowing that your failures are theirs as well makes you want to succeed for the both of you.
3. It’s a test you’ll want to take.
Remember those times in your life when you walked away from something prematurely only to wish later on that you’d at least given it a try? Marriage is a test of your inner will and your devotion to yourself and another human being. How can you pass on a chance to better yourself in a way unlike any other?
4. There is someone for everyone.
Yes, it’s true, and if you don’t believe that, you’re nuts. There are billions of people in this world and when you find that one needle in this humongous haystack we dwell in you’ll feel so truly blessed and so lucky that it will be hard not to want to give all you have to them and to the love you share. Marriage is one of the first steps along that road.
5. A good marriage = true honesty.
In life you can lie to everyone else but yourself, and who knows you better than you know yourself? Your spouse, if you let them in fully. They will be the ones to call you out on your bullshit when no one else will – not your best friend, a family member, no one else! When everything else in your world seems confusing and out of place, if you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with the right person, they will be there to help you put it all into perspective – even if you don’t particularly like what they have to say. Like it or not, you’re gonna need that at some point in your life. When they commit to you they commit to a lifetime of openness and honesty with you. That’s a gift.
6. Marriage is resilient.
Yes, you may know of quite a few older people who are still reeling from failed marriages – they might even be your parents, aunts or uncles. But, I bet you also know at least one younger couple who is happily married right now and working hard to keep it that way. Studies will have you believe that marriage is something that used to be a good idea but isn’t so smart today. But marriage has taken a beating over the years yet if you look around so many people still want to tie the knot. Why do you think that is? How can you not want to try something that despite what negative aspects others see or hear about in their own lives, they still feel compelled to try and are willing to fight for?
7. It reopens parts of your heart you never even knew were closed.
Remember the joy you felt when you were a kid and you road an amazing ride you hoped would never end? Or how excited you were to unwrap that giant birthday gift you’d been staring at all week? Can you remember the last time you felt that good? Trust me when I tell you marriage can warm your heart in those very same places and really make you feel that alive and vulnerable again. Your spouse’s love goes there, promise.
What would you say in defense of marriage?