7 Reasons to Believe In the Power of Marriage

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marriage proposal cartoonIf you let most newscasters and bloggers tell it, marriage isn’t “in” anymore. Everywhere I look there’s a new study or story on why people aren’t getting married, waiting much longer to get married, or just plain miserable in their marriages. Yet, as a newly married woman all I can think about some days is how happy I am in my own marriage and how blessed I feel to have found a wonderful man willing to take that journey with me. The truth is, like it or not, marriage can be wonderful if it’s with the right person at the right time. I can’t tell you who or when to marry, but I can give you seven damn good reasons why you should at least believe in the power of marriage. Read them before you pass any judgments, please.

I’d like to think that if I’m only about a year into this thing called marriage and I can already find seven reasons to tell you it’s worth the work, that’s got to be a good sign. Without further ado, here’s my list. (Note: If you’re reading this you’ll love What Marriage Was Designed For over on How Mama Got Her Swag Back) Would love to hear your thoughts and reactions after reading this list – be sure to share below.

1. It can heal you.

Sometimes I realize my husband’s love has slowly but surely healed parts of me I never even knew were broken. If you let it, the love your spouse has for you will repair the pain other parts of your life has caused you – this I promise.

2. Marriage motivates you.

Just like becoming a parent makes you want to be better for the sake of your child, getting married makes you want to be a stronger more present person in your relationship and with your God. You share a life and beliefs with your spouse – the achievements and the consequences – and knowing that your failures are theirs as well makes you want to succeed for the both of you.

3. It’s a test you’ll want to take.

Remember those times in your life when you walked away from something prematurely only to wish later on that you’d at least given it a try? Marriage is a test of your inner will and your devotion to yourself and another human being. How can you pass on a chance to better yourself in a way unlike any other?

4. There is someone for everyone.

Yes, it’s true, and if you don’t believe that, you’re nuts. There are billions of people in this world and when you find that one needle in this humongous haystack we dwell in you’ll feel so truly blessed and so lucky that it will be hard not to want to give all you have to them and to the love you share. Marriage is one of the first steps along that road.

5. A good marriage = true honesty.

In life you can lie to everyone else but yourself, and who knows you better than you know yourself? Your spouse, if you let them in fully. They will be the ones to call you out on your bullshit when no one else will – not your best friend, a family member, no one else! When everything else in your world seems confusing and out of place, if you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with the right person, they will be there to help you put it all into perspective – even if you don’t particularly like what they have to say. Like it or not, you’re gonna need that at some point in your life. When they commit to you they commit to a lifetime of openness and honesty with you. That’s a gift.

6. Marriage is resilient.

Yes, you may know of quite a few older people who are still reeling from failed marriages – they might even be your parents, aunts or uncles. But, I bet you also know at least one younger couple who is happily married right now and working hard to keep it that way. Studies will have you believe that marriage is something that used to be a good idea but isn’t so smart today. But marriage has taken a beating over the years yet if you look around so many people still want to tie the knot. Why do you think that is? How can you not want to try something that despite what negative aspects others see or hear about in their own lives, they still feel compelled to try and are willing to fight for?

7. It reopens parts of your heart you never even knew were closed.

Remember the joy you felt when you were a kid and you road an amazing ride you hoped would never end? Or how excited you were to unwrap that giant birthday gift you’d been staring at all week? Can you remember the last time you felt that good? Trust me when I tell you marriage can warm your heart in those very same places and really make you feel that alive and vulnerable again. Your spouse’s love goes there, promise.

What would you say in defense of marriage?

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58 Responses to 7 Reasons to Believe In the Power of Marriage

  1. Denise says:

    *standing ovation* BRAVA! I completely agree, especially with #1. And thanks for the shout-out!

  2. ManWifeDog says:

    Thanks Denise!!!!! Girl your post was an inspiration — they always are in fact. Adore your blog! Going to be checking for you on Black and Married today — saw the guest post shout out! So proud! ;-)

  3. Tara says:

    In spite of all of the sociological studies that show that marriage is no longer "in" there are still the psychological studies that show that married people live longer and are happier overall. That gives this single girl hope!! Great article :) Check out mine at http://exm.nr/jpo6IM

  4. CaliGirlED says:

    AMAZING!!! This post and the one from How Mama Got Her Swag Back are confirmation for me why I STILL want to be married! Great post!

  5. legalgrindingwifey says:

    Motivation is a major benefit of marriage. We were just watching the news special on Joel Osteen & his wife last night and realized marriage promotes each individual's success. Marriage inspires you to as a couple to truly believe in each other's dreams & goals when no one else seems to be invested in your success.
    My recent post Legal Grinding Wifey Relaunch on WordPress

  6. @DeeTwoCents says:

    I have grown so much through my marriage. If you marry to enhance your life rather than complete it then you have the building blocks for a lifetime partnership!

  7. nylse says:

    thanks for this encouragement. #4 is why i had no fear about getting married, but the rest are also spot on! even when things are not ideal its so good to know someone has your back!
    and to think you're only 1 year in – what happens when you get to double digits? :)
    My recent post I Thought You Were Dead!

  8. alice says:

    im not married but in a long term committed relationship. (dont think we'll ever get married) and i've found that by being very honest and allowing my partner to see my true self and vice versa we have experienced all of the things you listed. great post!!
    My recent post My Heart is Aching

  9. I definitely agree! These are things I'm noticing as we approach month #4. It's funny, hubby is learning to know me better than I know myself and he showed that to me last night by picking a movie I thought I would hate & ended up loving. I can't wait for everyday we grow together.
    My recent post My Bucket List

  10. so true. every.single.point. I absolutely LOVE being married. We're four years in and I love us more and more every day. There is a freedom in marriage in knowing that someone has your back no matter what. When you find the right person, I highly recommend it!
    My recent post Writer’s Workshop – New Mommy

  11. I completely agree with this. As someone who's marriage failed the first time and the second time we're trying to work at it every day, I can confirm that anyone can have the things you mentioned. Just don't assume they will happen without some effort.

  12. I hate reading the new studies on how marriage is not in anymore and that most marriages end in divorce blah blah. I love being married and would not have it any other way. I love all your points, especially #4. There is someone for everyone. You have to realize who that person is. Now, do not get mad if you prematurely marry the wrong person and get a divorce. Sometimes it takes a while to find that needle in the haystack!!
    My recent post I See You Watchn' Me

  13. Marriage has made me a better person. My husband is teaching me to be more patience and to be more giving in my dealings with other folks. His love lifts me on days when I am feeling less than.
    My recent post Green Is For The Money…

  14. Kisha says:

    i cannot agree more with your blog.. This the reason why marriage stays strong for the couple.. Keep posting some more!
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  15. Marcella says:

    oh i really want to say i love reading your posts, it is full of honesty. i have learned so much from it too. thanks for sharing, i hope to see more post from you.
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    • Liza Johnson says:

      relationship time is kept in an envelope. marriage seals the envelope. It brings love, contentment, peace, knowing a couple will grow old together and care for one another. Life is good because of this. He is the other half of her soul and Jesus encircles them and guides them. I have been happiy married 26 years. It is a blessed institution. My husband IS my LIFE.

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  19. Hadassah says:

    Thank you so much,you have truly giving me reasons to belive its worth a trial. I appreciate.

  20. Hadassah says:

    Thank you so much,you have truly given me reasons to belive its worth a trial. I appreciate.

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  23. 3meladawy says:

    thanks alot

  24. Thanks Denise!!!!! Girl your post was an inspiration — they always are in fact. Adore your blog! Going to be checking for you on Black and Married today — saw the guest post shout out! So proud!

  25. I believe in the power of marriage.People can be change in married life.I am also married person:)
    Before marriage i was not honest but after marriage now i am really very honest.I love my husband i love my family.

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    I give glory to God for people like you who are able reveal honest truth about marriage. It’s inspiring. Thumbs up

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