It’s no secret that arguing from time to time is a part of married life. Hey, no marriage is peachy all the time. The thing is, as The Man and I embark on our newlywed journey I’m beginning to truly understand the difference between a necessary fight and an unnecessary one.
The other day when I was picking his pants up off the floor for the millionth time and as I walked toward the hamper I felt my blood reaching it’s usual boiling point. I was ready to take those pants and shove them down his throat. But wait; I know how that episode ends. I lose my mind over a pair of pants, rant and rave for a good hour, agitate him to no end, and watch our night turn sour – fast. Perhaps a new approach was in order. After all, by now I’m fully aware of the fact that no matter what I say or how I say it, or even how bad I make him feel, The Man is not going to put his pants in the hamper when he comes home. It’s just not going to happen.
So if I know all this already, why fight it, right? Well my new goal is to steer clear of unnecessary drama, no matter what. Even if it means swerving out of the lane I’m most comfortable in – also known as going off and trying to have my point heard – and practicing more patience instead.
Which leads me to this little list I’ve been working on. The following things just aren’t worth going to bed angry over, I promise you. (Note: Many of these we learned from experience, the hard way!)
Don’t argue over…
Who drives better.
There’s probably no way either of you will ever agree on this one, and can’t you imagine what car rides and road trips would be like if you just cut the crap altogether and agreed to disagree? Tolerable, I’m sure.
Who hogs the blankets.
Let’s see here. You have a warm blanket and a warm body to snuggle up with at night. What’s the problem? Could be worse!
A clear misunderstanding.
Example: The Man was angry because he called my phone like seven times in a row and I didn’t pick up. I was angry that he didn’t consider the fact that it was still on vibrate from work earlier, or that I might have left it in the car so I could carry both our drinks out of dunking donuts. Clearly a common misunderstanding; yet we spent at least twenty minutes arguing over why it happened. Total wase!
Temperatures in the home.
I like it warm, he likes it hot – we bicker about this so often, I swear one day we’ll come home to find that the central air bailed on us and left a breakup note on the kitchen counter. As my father once put it, that’s what blankets and windows were invented for. We can make it work, or make a big fuss over it. It’s obvious which one is better for our daily sanity.
We divide our bills and savings in way that allows for each of us to have a little “petty cash” of our own to work with each week. What we do with it is our own business, and it should stay that way. I shouldn’t have to justify why I spent $30 on lip gloss and he shouldn’t have to hear me wine about how often he gets a shape-up. Just silly, don’t you think?
What to watch on TV.
DVR was invented for a reason, and I wish I could go hug the person who thought of it. Pure genius!
What do you unnecessarily argue over in your home? Confess, girls! (And make me feel a little better.)