It’s a great question and I can’t really take credit for asking it. I read it over on Jezebel in an article about the demise of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver‘s marriage. (I was a little shocked too — they did survive the Terminator movies, all the late night TV accent jokes, and his time as Governor.) But it’s such a good one I just have to answer and ask around. (You know me!) Do you have marriage role models? Who are they?
I had to ponder on this one for awhile but the first couples that came to mind were Michelle and Barack Obama (of course!) and Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker. I have a couple crush on both pairs – like high school doodle in notebook style crush – and I’m proud of that. The Obamas are strong and focused together. They make the ultimate power team and they get the job done (they live in the White House, hello!) with a smile and a fist bump. I love that they’re playful and obviously so in love, yet their relationship always appears rock solid and invincible to life’s bullshit. I want The Man and I to be able to set goals together, achieve them together, and then celebrate in that pride and bliss together. Not saying we don’t have a little of that power couple mojo going on already, but ultimately we could work on our teamwork in our marriage. Mainly as it pertains to building our empire and furthering our joint successes and our wealth. Put simply, if Michelle and Barack can plot to make it to the White House master bedroom I know The Man and I can start at least one of the business ideas we always throw around together. Ambition is a turn on, and clearly The Obamas keep the passion alive in their marriage. What’s not to love? (Add in the gorgeous and smart kids and the cute hypoallergenic dog and you’ve basically got our American Dream right there – minus the whole commander in chief/first lady piece.)
Now abut my obsession with the Kodjoes: I adore them for very different reasons, though equally appealing to my heart. We’ll just skip over the fact that they’re both drop dead gorge – we know that, now let’s move on to the good part. As a married team they’re masters of keeping their family life sane and private in Hollywood. That’s like a magician’s feat these days. Almost all press about them is good press and when they grace the covers of our favorite magazines with their cutie patootie kids wrapped in their arms and giant smiles plastered across their faces you can open the pages to read a tale of family and love that’s actually worthy of the spotlight they’re given. How many times do we see celebrity families on a cover and then read about their slow motion train wreck lives inside the pages? (Too often!) But not this family! While most a-list Hollywood spouses are out getting botox and free swag together these two are at home teaching their kids multiple languages and the arts and showing them that there’s a great life outside of the spotlight too. We’re not parents yet, but when we decide to have little humans I will be trying to channel the Kodjoes as we try our best to become star parents in our children’s eyes.
When The Man and I grow up we want to kick ass and take names like The Obamas and fill our family with pure love and happiness like The Kodjoes! What I find most fascinating (and almost simultaneously sad) about all of this however is that I didn’t think of my parents here, and when I asked The Man who his role models were his response was: “Um…I don’t really have any. Okay, my parents, I guess.” In a perfect world we should all want to grow up to be just like our parents, but better, right? But when it comes to relationships they don’t always lead by example and we won’t always want to follow. In fact, many times we’ll want just the opposite of what we saw marriage as growing up. I strive to always have the love and honesty my mother and father shared but there were some dynamics in their marriage I’m certain I can do without and I work very hard to avoid in my own today. I’ll stop here. But this question is thought provoking. Very curious what you all have to say.
Who are your marriage role models? Are they your parents? What is it about their marriage that makes you strive to make yours even better? Let’s talk couple crushes ladies!