What This Gorgeous Little Handbag Is Teaching Me About Marriage

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Doonet and Burke Blended Shadow Mediuam Valerie Bag Hot pinkI’ve been stalking this cute little Dooney and Burke number for weeks now. It’s called the Valerie handbag and it’s from their signature collection and priced at $235. I first spotted it in black and it immediately caught my attention, then I discovered it in pink and it instantly became my spring handbag obsession. I’ve had my eye on it ever since; staring at it work while I eat my salad at my desk, making it my desktop image in anticipation of my next pay day, and even admiring it from afar at the mall for fear that if I get too close I might just whip out the credit card I swore I wouldn’t use this year. I love this bag and I have to have it from my arm and my closet rack. Normally it would be mine by now, but there have been a few “obstacles” standing between me and my bag this month – mainly focusing on what’s important in our marriage. As painful as it has been to carry on without the bagt, it has been a necessary sacrifice, a chance for me to learn a few little lessons, and a constant reminder of what’s ultimately most important right now.

Thanks to this bag, I am learning that

…even the smallest sacrifices can reap the biggest rewards. When I first saw the bag I was actually out shopping for The Man’s birthday gift. I wanted to buy it right then and there but I knew I couldn’t really afford to purchase both at the same time. I won’t lie, for a moment (or two) I considered scaling back his gift (just a little) and snagging ‘em both, but I eventually snapped out of it and did the right thing. I’m so glad I did. The other day The Man accidentally found his gift while putting something away in my closet and his kid-sized smile was enough to wipe away any remorse I had over not buying that bag. (His birthday isn’t here yet, but I let him open it anyway – hey, we’re adults, what’s the harm?)

…prioritizing requires so much pain patience. After The Man’s birthday gift was bought, wrapped, and stashed, I still had three more paychecks coming my way that I could have used to buy The Bag. The problem was, there were also quite a few far more important, although admittedly less glamorous, things to budget for this month that would ultimately make our lives easier going forward. Things like unpaid parking tickets, car insurance renewals, and repairing his fast dying car. I’m a married woman now and that means “our” money matters now more than ever. How could I sleep at night knowing we didn’t have money for his tune-up because I just had to have a  overpriced pink bag?

…you can’t always get what you want — so just deal! Unmarried me would have bought that bag no matter what and ignored the guilt and The Man when questioned about the sensibility of the decision. But this former impulse-shopper has to be accountable for the things she does in her marriage and sometimes that will mean doing everything I don’t want to do and purposefully ignoring the things I do want to do. Such is life – married life!

…when things aren’t going quite they way you’d hoped, stay positive, do what you have to do, and know that they will once again work in your favor. I fought the urge to just buy the bag and deny my responsibilities even when it pained me to do so, and then what do you know, I went to check on the bag as I write this post and sure enough if it’s now on sale for $176. (I learned some valuable lessons early on, AND might now save some money too.) Yes, I’m #winning!

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10 Responses to What This Gorgeous Little Handbag Is Teaching Me About Marriage

  1. Sonia says:

    I called my struggle: Handbag withdrawal syndrome! I was able to over come this when I find bags like it in the clearance bin or at a discount store for way more cheaper. Ross & Marshalls always have nice purses. Plus I could never see spending that much on a purse when I know I can come out the store with 3 pairs of pants, 3 shirts, some socks and maybe a knockoff purse for that amount. (I don't shop in the mall)

    Reality always steps in, but I have been know to slip and pay over $100…but that is very rare with my cheap ass!
    My recent post Win 25 Gift Card for Maggiano’s Little Italy Restaurant 4 Winners

  2. nylse says:

    so…you bought the bag…hmmppphhhh (I kind of wish you hadn't)
    good lessons though…i'm not a bag person, but a shoe person. but i can talk myself out of anything for the greater good.
    My recent post The Fear Factor

  3. TheProDiva says:

    You had me at handbag! But seriously, I learned this lesson when I first got married. I realized that I was no longer responsible for myself and my finance, but I had to be cognizant of OUR responsibilities and OUR finances. It took a while for me to get here, but I finally did. Congrats on being strong! And now, I'm Googling that bag!
    My recent post Martini Break!!!

  4. LionGIrl says:

    I am so proud of you! Even single ladies need to watch their impulse shopping coz they gotta save for their retirement (no one else gonna take care of them when they grow old alone) n dozens of handbags in the closet will not put food on the table! Cheers!
    My recent post Fortune- Name n Number part 3 final

  5. Sadi says:

    awesome post!
    My recent post We have a new look!!

  6. {JeLisa} @ Blogging Ever After says:

    Lovely insight, Charli! And I can totally relate to the whole "I and my" becoming "us and ours" epiphany.
    My recent post Loving Simply- Once Again

  7. integratedmemoirs says:

    Great post (as I head to the mall and purchase this Michael Kors bag I've been watching…did I mention the store is having a 50% off sale on a selection of the bags…yes, I'm rubbing it in, LOL)!!
    My recent post His &amp Hers

  8. I'm going to remember reading this when I cry over the Michael Kors bag I want so badly! Thanks Charlie~!

  9. Provision and acquisition of the knowledge and data are the two sides of the same coin. The values and norms of the students’ lives are valued and respected. The quality of the life is improved and increased.

  10. If it's a marriage anniversary I'm guessing expensive brands are okay ? Celine,Prada,Michael Kors have some really nice bags .Nine West is a bit cheaper but has very good quality bags too.They are classy in design .

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