I try my best not to. You see your co-workers more than you see your family, so once you’ve started to bond with them you can easily start to feel comfortable opening up. But just how open should we be? Though it can be tempting to chat about the wonders and woes The Man and I share while I stand by the office water cooler I usually avoid it at all costs. It’s just risky business to me. (I’d much rather talk about the Oscars, music, or how much work I have to do.) My coworkers know that I’m married and happy. That’s it! That’s all they need to know. Now at my desk I do have a few wedding photos on display, but again, to me that’s just stating the obvious – I’m a married woman. There’s no need to hide the fact that I have a husband, but the intimate details of our life are off limits.
In my experience gossiping about your love life brings trouble in two forms: 1. If a man brags about being happy at home, the home-wrecking groupies come out to prey. 2. If you’re a woman who talks about having problems at home, the sleaze balls come out to prey. Either way, when this happens if you don’t get things back under control fast you both lose. The Man and I learned this lesson the hard way. Once upon a time he would proudly discuss our love at work thinking that every female who smiled as he spoke had our best interests in mind, and then one day a former coworker tried to take him home for lunch! (Not kidding!) Thankfully, I didn’t have to ask for this information he came home and told me right away. At first I was shocked, but then when he told me he always talked about me and even brought my engagement ring to show off at work before he proposed I realized that it was bound to happen.
Unfortunately I’ve learned that other women (and men!) are more likely to want to steal a good thing from you than to just be happy for you because you have it. I wish it weren’t true, but let’s face it ladies, it is. Now on the flip side, since I’ve worked in the media business most of my career and it’s mostly dominated by women, I haven’t had many male coworkers to deal with on a day to day basis. But if I did, I wouldn’t make a habit of talking about the details of my marriage, good or bad! I stand firm by my beliefs that saying nothing is better than saying anything at all when it comes to love, marriage, and work. Where do you draw the line between business and pleasure?