My girlfriends and I discuss SO many of the ups and downs of dating and love and marriage that the conversation never gets old. It does however repeat itself every so often when certain topics just keep coming up! To me, that makes them hot, very hot! So I’m going to start expanding the conversations here to see what other women have to say on the topics. Today, let’s vent about his “boys”, how much time he spends with them and whether or not you ever get a little jealous! Sound good? Okay, I’ll start!
I honestly have to admit that The Man does an incredible job with the balancing act right now. He sees his friends plenty, but I would never complain that he doesn’t spend enough time with me. He makes a point of giving me an advanced heads up on potential “guy’s nights” in advance and asks if I’d be disappointed if he left me to my own devices on a Friday night. He racks up cool points in that department daily! So much so that I’ve even decided that until we have children I’m actually okay with him staying out all night with them when necessary. (Shocking, I know!) I’m not sure I find a 30-year-old man “getting trashed” playing video games and talking sports with his friends then passing out on their couch to be the most mature behavior, but I’ve learned quickly in my marriage that you really must pick your battles and this isn’t a war I care to wage.
Truthfully speaking, whenever his friend’s wives or girlfriend’s send me a heads’ up text saying “Looks like your husband’s crashing on our couch tonight” (so cool of them!) I don’t really get as pissed off about it as one might think. Why? Mainly because I’m relieved to know he’s safe somewhere and not being stupid enough to attempt to drive home buzzed from the beers, but also because we live together so I see him enough, and I would be lying if I said I was missing out on a good time with my husband at 3a.m. We would have just been snoring side by side in bed anyway, right? So no harm no foul for now! But when we have little humans, the tables shall turn. I can promise you I’ll be blowing up his phone like a groupie does a rapper’s, and I won’t have any shame in doing so – even if it means calling his friends to remind them that he should be at home. You see, I have some girlfriends who are new moms with dad’s who are still trying to “live the good life” when they can, and from them I’m seeing firsthand that sitting in the living room alone in the wee hours of the morning with a baby in your arms isn’t fun by any means. So I’ve told The Man to enjoy it while he can because the leniency will not last forever.
You’re probably wondering if he gives me the same courtesies. Absolutely! I’m just no longer at a point in my life where I need to be anywhere besides my bed at 4 in the morning unless I have no choice. That’s a personal choice I’ve made, but It’s easier knowing he wouldn’t whip out any double standard nonsense on me should I ever act of character and decide to.
So for now, I’m choosing to just stay silent on this one. My husband embarks on guy-only adventures once, maybe twice, a month, so why fuss about it? But that’s just me. And I’m the furthest from jealous over the time he spend with his friends, because if anything they’d have every right to be a little bit jello over the all the times over the years he’s chosen me.
But, what about your situation? Similar? Quite the opposite? Let’s gab it up girls! (And guys if you feel compelled to chime in.) Let the venting begin!
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I wish he would spend more time but with his more mature family friends. There have been a few instances where he spends time with his single and fancy free friends and winds up in hot water. I need a break every now and again. Sometimes though he also picks the most inopportune time like when the kids are sick, I am stressed to the max, the house is a disaster, etc…that is not the right time to say hey, I am going out to watch the game and grab a couple beers. And I agree that when you have children, it does change A LOT so savor it while you can.
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How much time does your husband spend with friends. It is big question to ask from the husband. The time should be balanced and arranged in this manner. The skills of the time management are required to sustain the social relations.
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