Yesterday I found this off-the-wall ad on Jezebel, one of my favorite pro-women blogs. Apparently across the pond the people of Britain are freaking out because “the number of British people marrying has dropped to its lowest level since 1862”, so they created an ad campaign that promotes marriage like it’s the hard-core thing and rebellious thing to do. Over at Jezebel their take was that marketing marriage is “bizarre”, and I do agree. But, I think once you do get married (for the right reasons, not because you saw it on an ad!) there’s nothing wrong with being a bad-ass married couple.
Remember when I blogged about how The Man and I are so not The Huxtables, well I’d like to think that by not always playing by the typical rules of marriage that makes us kind of bas-ass, right? If we’re happy and kind to other, what’s so wrong with that? They say rules were made to be broken, right? So why shouldn’t those on marriage apply? When you think about it, being a “bad-ass” couple can be a good thing. As evidence I present The Man and Wife’s Guide to Being a Bad-Ass Married Couple.
Don’t hold your tongues! Be honest (even if painfully so) with each other and your in-laws always. Sometimes the politically correct thing to do is stay quiet or sugar coat how you feel, but we found that usually just causes more problems at home. We make no secret of the fact that communication is the foundation of our marriage, and when you pair it with honesty it can be really freeing. You’re going to hurt some feeling, and that’s unfortunate, but keeping your feelings bottled in will only hurt you later.
Express your love how you see fit! You’re married to each other not to the people who might be judging you. The Man and I have been planning to get matching ring finger tattoos with our wedding date since we tied the knot. We get a lot of strange looks when we mention that’s in our plans, but do you think we care? “What if you regret it?”, they say. We meant every vow we made to each other that day so I don’t think we could ever regret that moment.
Take a vacation you can’t afford, at least once! Yes, paying all your bills on time and saving money is the right (and smartest) thing to do. I’m not denying that. But honestly if that’s all you ever do your marriage might end up being sort of a snore. I’m not going to lie, our saving skills are sub par at best, but our scrapbook and minds are filled with some truly unforgettable and awesome vacation memories that wouldn’t have made the imprint on our relationship that they did if we hadn’t just opened our minds (and wallets) to the possibilities of the moment. Just sayin’…think about it.
Don’t worry about disturbing the neighbors, or offending someone with a little PDA! You won’t fall under the “young and madly In love” category forever, so why should you hold back now? As you’ve heard already, The Man and I can get pretty loud on weekends when we’re playing video games together or performing tipsy karaoke. We could care that we’re waking the neighbors, but why? We’re pretty decent people to have living next door. We don’t have wild parties on weeknights or leave stinky trash bags outside to rot. We’re even polite in passing when we see them. And the same goes for mild PDA. Is my giving my husband a kiss while we wait in line for movie really harming the people behind us? Should we have less fun because they’re not having any? Disclaimer: I would feel very differently about the neighbor thing if they had small children. Obviously that’s a game changer –we love the kids!
If you’re not enjoying yourselves, leave! When it comes to attending another friend or couples’ party or get-together, if you’re not having a good time don’t stay long. We used to feel bad dipping out early on friend’s functions, but the truth is, when you’re married and busy you don’t often get a lot of quality time to be together. Then these events always happen to fall on the one night you did have to cozy up to one another and you’re supposed to give it all up and be miserable? Pass! It’s okay to sneak away if it means getting to steal back a few moments with each other.
Got a bad-ass couple’s mantra to share? Post it below. You know I wanna hear it!