We’re not fighting. I don’t wish I were somewhere else or with someone else. I just want to get a good night’s sleep! Gibran and I have been living together for five years, and we still haven’t been able to successfully merge our sleeping styles. During my BG (Before Gibran) life I was someone who needed four things to get a good night’s sleep: 1. Darkness. 2. Light music. 3. A good mattress. 4. SPACE. My AG (After Gibran) years have proven to only provide me with a fourth of what I need to get a solid six hour of sleep. (We splurged on a great mattress from day one.) Gibran needs to fall asleep watching something lame on TV (like the weather channel or FOX news) and he likes to leave it on in the background throughout the night. Plus, he likes to leave on a light and he couldn’t stay still at night if he had on a straight jacket.
Now, I’ve tried over and over again to take one for the team, but to no avail. I’ve given up my light background music in favor of TV, hoping to wait him out and turn it off when he falls asleep. But he wakes up as I pressed the power button, protests, and turns it right back on. I purchase one eye-mask after another to block out the glare of the TV and the lamp, but Karma finds it amusing to bite and pull at them as I try to fall asleep, then steal ‘em after I’m completely knocked out. I’ve even tried to hold my own and keep my side of the bed safe from Gibran’s kicking legs and flailing arms, but both The Man and The Dog like to sleep spread eagle, so in a queen-sized bed that doesn’t leave much room for me.
So now as I grow more and more frustrated with having dreams of freak weather incidents and waking up sore from sleeping in a small corner of the bed wedged between a dog and my husband, and more and more anxious to spend a huge chunk of our savings on a king sized bed, blackout curtains, and noise-reducing headphones, I find myself spending more and more time on the couch. There it may be small, but it’s quiet, dark, and ultimately peaceful. Problem is, my husband feels like I’m bailing on our bedroom. Maybe I am. Do I suck for that? Probably, but in my opinion, not being able to recall the last time I slept peacefully through the night without being loaded up on red-wine sucks way more.
Any more wives out there couch-bound come bedtime? Should I book it back to my bedroom? Pick a side! It’d be nice to know I’m not alone here…