A Special Editor’s Note: I haven’t shared anything on this blog in over a year now, and for that, I’m very sorry. Sometimes there’s just a little too much on our plates, and the smartest thing to do can also be the hardest thing to do. I’ve genuinely missed sharing our marriage journey (in progress) and the lessons we learn along the way, but I want you to know two things upon my return: 1. I didn’t stop blogging because there wasn’t anything to tell. (Boy, do I have some stories for you!) 2. We’re back for real this time and I’m ready to get reacquainted with our old readers and welcome the new ones too. If you’re in need of a weekly dose of marital wisdom, stories, or wit, you’ve come to the right place. We promise. Now, on to the business of this post…

When I’m asked to share my “how I met my husband” story with someone, one of the most surprising reactions I often hear sounds a little something like, “Oh, you met so young? Aren’t you worried you didn’t live enough beforehand?” It’s a fair question, for sure, since I met my hubby exactly two months after graduating from college and we never took a break. But, yet and still, my answer remains the same each time: Nope, I have never worried about that, and I’m not about to start either. Here are three (good) reasons why…

1.    For all those stories you hear about couples who fall in love young and grow apart, there is always at least one where the opposite happens—they grow together, grow stronger and grow closer because they weren’t burdened by the baggage and pain that comes with trying your hand at love and failing many, many times before that. Oh, and because they were, you know, actually really meant to be. I’ve always been okay with being the exception and not the rule, just as long as people understand that there are certainly always exceptions to that rule. I meet couples like us all the time, and they too have no regrets about how and when they met.

2.    Believe it or not, I had already had my share of heartbreak, even at the tender age of 21. I wish I had been the young woman who was more focused on books than boys, but I must confess, I was equally determined to make the grade and meet the guy throughout my high school and college years. (I blame rom-coms, TV happy endings on teen shows and being addicted to Sex and the City.) However, I don’t wish the same for my future daughter’s interests at that age. Mainly because although I managed to succeed at getting a quality education and lots of extra-curricular activities under my belt, I did shed a lot of tears onto those textbooks and computer keyboards because I was constantly giving my heart out to someone who didn’t want to cherish or protect it. I wont go into detail here, but let’s just say, I found out what love wasn’t and what an unhealthy relationship looked like long before I even started grad school. So, when Gibran walked into my life at 21, I already knew a good thing when I saw it. His sincerity and devotion stood out to me and proved to be authentic from the start. There was no need to hesitate.

3.    Your twenties are filled with growing pains, awkward failures, unsure paths and totally self-destructive behaviors. And, believe it or not, there’s something very comforting about looking back on that time and realizing that there was someone in your life uplifting, loving and forgiving you despite it all, who is actually still standing there right by your side today. Now, to me, that is the ultimate proof that you can make it “together forever.”

I would never encourage anyone to rush love in their 20s, but you won’t hear me giving out any finger-pointing-style warnings if they do decide to, because when it’s right, it does have its benefits.

Today, my husband and I celebrate four years of marital bliss and eleven years of enjoying good love and healthy growth. I wouldn’t change a thing about how or when we met, and I will tell anyone that the road to “I do” isn’t any easier when you meet young, but it’s certainly not, in my experience, any harder either. We fight for what we want but we’ll always have the ability to walk away from what we don’t, and this applies to women of all ages. Just some food for thought…

I’d love to discuss this further with anyone who wants to weigh in. Does the age at which you fall in love change your perspective on making it work? Are there unseen sacrifices? I’ve discussed the pros, but of course there may be cons too. If you want to talk about it, I’ll see you in the comment section below!

Photo: Di Bezi Photography