Stay Out of Married Folks’ Business (The #BurgerKingFight Lesson!)

Have you guys heard about the Boston Globe reporter who tweeted blow by blow details of a married couple’s fight at a Burger King? Yup, he went there. While sitting near a couple bickering at the fast food joint he proceeded to live-tweet their dialogue, complete with photos and video, kicking things off by tweeting: “I am listening to a marriage disintegrate at a table next to me in this restaurant. Aaron Sorkin couldn’t write this any better.”

He kept his 4,000+ followers entertained by sharing every single heart-wrenching detail of the couple’s marriage spat. And, trust me, this was not mild stuff. “She think it is unfair that he gets to play video games and she has to clean when his mother tells her. We agree.” Okay, so none of his business, but so far, not terribly cruel right? Well wait, there’s more. Another tweet from Boyle read: “’Why did you even marry me?’ he asks. ‘Because I loved you,’ she responds. ‘Loved me?’ We all notice the past tense.” Yikes! You can check out this storified summary to read the rest. (In case they’re deleted by now, also see a screen grab below!)

Now, clearly, this wasn’t cool. Yes, when you choose to argue in public (which you guys already know Man and I don’t ever do) you are opening yourself to the opinions and judgments of others – I get that. But when the nosy asshole sitting next to you starts live-tweeting your troubles and sharing pics and flix, a line has been crossed. Continue reading

Posted in Hot Topics, Married Life | 18 Comments

Husbands vs Boyfriends: Yes, There Is Still a Difference!

I recently had a discussion with a few good girlfriends of mine about the state of marriage today. The debate quickly became very passionate, like so many of our chat fests often do, when we realized we all had very different opinions about the definitions of “husband” and “boyfriend” in today’s society.

A single girlfriend of mine who has been living with her boyfriend for over 4 years said, “I don’t need a ring. He’s more my husband than my boyfriend any day. A ring won’t change that!” Interesting, I thought. I asked her why she felt the words “boyfriend” and “husband” were interchangeable, and she told me it was because the only difference between their long-term relationship and a marriage was that it wasn’t legally recognized. Before I could respond, another friend of ours interjected, “I agree with her. These days, who really needs a ring?” I immediately responded, “I did!”

Only two of the five other women at the table stood by me. One married, one not. The others joked that in their experience only married women felt there was a true difference between husbands and boyfriends, and it was likely because they were married. Um…okay, if you say so. One of them challenged me to explain how my marriage was different from her long-term relationship.These were my arguments….

(Disclaimer: These are the somewhat humorous, 100 percent honest, opinions of a happily married woman who has always felt that marriage was, and is, the ultimate destination on the journey to true love. You may not agree, and that’s okay too – feel free to state your case in the comment section below.)

Boyfriends love you. Husbands love you so much they knew they could never ever share, so they just had to make you their “wife” officially.

Boyfriends make promises. Husbands make them before God and everyone else you love enough to invite to your wedding.

When boyfriends have “had it up to here” they move out, take their space, or tell you they’re not sure things are working out between you. When husbands have “had it up to here” they take a walk or have a beer.

Boyfriends feel very little guilt gawking at the occasional hot chick passing by, or harmlessly flirting with a co-worker. Husbands think about it occasionally but know better than that to risk it. (Most days at least!)

Boyfriends understand that a woman’s just having “one of those days”. Husbands go to the store (alone!) to pickup your feminine products – and even remember your brand.

Boyfriends sometimes stay out too late with the guys. Husbands know they better beat the sun in the morning.

Boyfriends love you in “those sexy heels”. Husbands love you in anything.

Boyfriends seek important advice from their friends. Husbands seek advice from their wives.

Boyfriends remember your birthday. Husbands remember that time something you said changed their life.

Boyfriends sometimes bend the rules. Husbands want to work with you to set them.

I could go on, and on, and on! But I’ll stop here for now. To me, there is a very big difference between a boyfriend and a husband – many of which revolve around devotion, commitment, and understanding. I’ve always said that marriage is not for everyone, but for those who seek it, there is something very special to it.

I’ve seen a lot of women change their tune about marriage after they felt it was unattainable or because the guy they loved didn’t seem to want it too. It makes me sad. Now if you’ve never wanted to get married, no judgments here, to each it’s own, as I always say. If you’ve always wanted or been open to marriage, don’t sell yourself short by convincing yourself that the next best thing is the same thing. It’s not. And you deserve to have the bond you dream about – not the one that’s become convenient or “acceptable” today. Just think about it…

Married ladies, what would you add to this list? Single gals, do you disagree? Let’s talk about it.

Posted in Hot Topics, Lists to Live By, Married Life | 70 Comments

5 Reasons to Be Thankful for Your Marriage

being thankful

What are you thankful for?

Although I personally believe that every day should be a day of thanks for the blessings in your life, it’s that very special time of year again where we come together and appreciate the love in our lives. Better known as Thanksgiving of course. Perhaps like many of you, I’ve been reflecting a lot lately about the good in my life that balances the bad. Truthfully, I have a lot to be thankful for right now – my marriage being the number one thing on that list.

If you’re married, that’s a blessing – whether you’re having a rough patch or the time of your life – it’s a gift, and you mustn’t forget it. Part of making your marriage work is making sure neither of you ever take it for granted – ever! I made a little list of the 5 reasons I feel a husband or wife should be thankful for their marriage. Give it a read and let me know if you’d edit or add to it in any way. As always, feel free to join in.

1. You’ve found a partner for life. Seriously, what’s better than that? Yes, we’re born alone, but I’d like to think when you pick the right life partner, you have a true friend ‘til the end. That’s beautiful.

2. You’ve found someone who gets you. We’ve all had moments where we felt misunderstood in some way. One of the best things about marriage is that those moments are no more.

3. Even on the lonely nights you’re not really alone. Two people in a marriage don’t always feel like they’re on the same page, but just by agreeing to disagree they’re still working together, and they have each other.

4. You have someone in your life that loves you enough to tell the truth. A good spouse won’t lie to you, even when they can tell you want them to. When that shirt is a tad too tight, or you’ve had one too many glasses of wine, they’re there to tell you. Everyone needs honesty in their world.

5. You plus them equals family. Whether you’re miles away, estranged from, or just not getting along with your family, home is where your spouse is – without question. When you have no one else, you have each other.

Posted in Hot Topics, Lists to Live By, Married Life | 3 Comments

The Man You Know Can Change (The Herman and Gloria Cain Discussion)

gloria and herman cainBy now you’ve all heard Gloria Cain’s reasons for supporting her husband Herman Cain, whose campaign for presidential candidacy has been seriously stalled by numerous allegations from women that he sexually harassed them in the past. Put simply, she feels that since her husband “respects women” and always has, the man she knows couldn’t possibly do the things his accusers say he did.

Although Mrs. Cain did seem remarkably genuine, most of America isn’t buying it, and have as a result, labeled her “naïve”. I agree, but for different reasons. Sadly, when it comes to cut-throat politics it’s hard to know when you’re being sold the truth or a lie. Did Cain do it? I don’t know. It would seem like it, but who knows?

This blog isn’t about my thoughts on politics or the presidential campaign, so I’ll move on to my point here. I think Mrs. Cain is “naïve” to think that the man she married could never ever do a complete 180. You shouldn’t go into a marriage expecting the person you love to change, but let’s fact it here, sometimes people do. As a wife, yes, it is your duty to stand by your husband and support him, but at what point does truth trump loyalty? Had her argument been that she’s certain the women are known liars, or received payment for their “accusations” to help take down his presidential aspirations, I might have understood her more. But if her only adamant justification for supporting him “200 percent” was because there’s no way the man she knows could do those things, I can’t help but want to ask Mrs. Cain, are you sure you dear hubby Herman couldn’t change? Continue reading

Posted in Hot Topics, Learning the Hard Way, Marriage... | 6 Comments

Viral Video: Even Siri Can’t Fix Your Marriage Problems

I’m back with a good laugh for you all. I know you’ve seen the new iPhone 4S commercials that claim that Siri can help you with anything, right? Well it looks like marital disagreements don’t make it onto Siri’s resume. Watch this video and you’ll see what I mean. (“Siri, send my wife directions to hell!” = hilarious!)

Posted in Married Life, Viral Videos | Tagged , , | 9 Comments

Marriage Isn’t a Joke (The Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries Lesson)

As most of you may have heard by now, Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce from her new husband Kris Humphries after just 72 days of marriage. Yup, no typos here. The pair was only married for 72 days! Her reasons for calling it quits? “Irreconcilable differences” is what the divorce papers say. Now, I can’t say I didn’t see this coming. Didn’t we all? It’s been fairly obvious from day one that she seemed more intent on making money from her nuptials than she did on starting a life and family with Kris. That much is clear. However, she did walk up to an altar, stand beside him, and take vows before her God, family, and friends. Does that mean nothing anymore?

When did marriage become something we do for money and fame, and not a spiritual union we’re responsible for upholding, cherishing, and devoting ourselves to? I don’t really care what she does with her life – she’s the one that has to sleep at night – but I am concerned with the message celeb stories like hers will send to those who do look up to her.

Marriage is not a joke or a game! It doesn’t matter whether you’re sitting on stacks of cash or don’t have a penny to your name, vows are vows, people. If you say them, you should mean them. Now, short of him beating on her or causing her some sort of irreparable physical or emotional harm, I can’t see what reason any wife who meant the words she vowed at the altar would have for giving up on her husband and her marriage in less than 90 days. Wow! Absolutely inexcusable.

If you don’t want to get married, fine. It’s your business and I won’t judge. However, if you do, or you are, please know that no one ever said it’d be easy and I’m pretty sure your loved ones didn’t come together to watch you vow to one another to stick it out until you just don’t feel like it anymore.

I won’t even get into the fact that she spent 10 million dollars on her wedding, earned 18 million from selling the rights and photos from every moment, and then turned around and slapped her hubby-to-be with an air tight prenuptial agreement I’m sure he’s already deeply depressed about signing. The whole thing is just a sad, sad, mess. Shame on Kim Kardashian. I’m just thankful didn’t waste 2-hours of my life watching the total bullshit that was her E! wedding special.

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Posted in Hot Topics, News and Notes, Wife Gripes | 24 Comments