What Do Vow Renewals Mean to You? (The Seal and Heidi Conversation)

Seal and Heidi Klum during happier times.

Say it ain’t so! Celebrity couple Heidi Klum and Seal have announced their separating after seven seemingly (emphasis on seemingly) blissful years of marriage. Although celeb couples marry and divorce faster than we can run an errand, this split shocked many. Myself included. No, it’s not because I believe that a happy marriage on the outside means the same happiness exists behind closed doors. And, it certainly not because they were a post couple for all blended families in Hollywood. Those things aside, things can and often do still go wrong. We all know that.My jaw hit the table when I heard the news mainly because when I think of Heidi and Seal I think of a couple who embraces love and marriage and who seemingly (again, emphasis on “seemingly”) pride themselves on making it work and striving to go the distance with each other no matter what. Their very public and very genuine annual vow renewals were part of what got me their, honestly. Continue reading

Posted in Celeb Marriages We Can Learn From, Hot Topics, News and Notes | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

The Video That Almost Made Us Make a Baby

I know what you’re thinking. That’s quite a title, right? Yes, well, you all should know by now that I’m pretty dramatic. But seriously, it’s true. Man and I are an agreement that we’re not quite ready for parenthood just yet, but that’s never stopped us from dreaming out loud about how we imagine things will go when that time does come around. Being the dog lovers that we are, we’ve always fantasized about having the perfect baby, and allowing he or she to grow up with the perfect buddy; the big, friendly, loyal, fun, and furry kind. Continue reading

Posted in Love Thy Pet, Married Life, Viral Videos | Tagged , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Hot Topic: Can Vanessa Bryant Get a Break? How Much Is Your Pain Worth?

News broke today that Vanessa Bryant, former wife of LA Lakers star Kobe Bryant, has received quite a hefty divorce settlement, as many expected. TMZ is reporting that Vanessa will receive $75 million dollars and three multi-million dollar properties – the home she and Kobe lived in with their two daughters, the new home they’d been building for the last two years, and the home her mom lived in, which the couple owned. Wow!

Now, as I said before when news of her divorce filing and his infidelity first broke, this woman has clearly been patient and no one can argue that after 11 years and one seriously embarrassing public cheating scandal, she doesn’t deserve an out if she wants one. Plus, it’s rumored their marriage ended because she found out he had stepped out on her once again. Yet, there was an outpouring of outrage today on the web with comments flooding in about how Vanessa “doesn’t deserve that much” and is “taking Kobe for all he’s worth”. Um, he’s worth double that people, and don’t you think she’s entitled to half of “their net worth”? Granted it’s astronomically larger than the averages person’s worth, but the rules are the rules no? But really, all of that aside, one has to ask, how much is heartbreak worth? Continue reading

Posted in Hot Topics, News and Notes | Tagged , , | 16 Comments

Sh*t Single Women Say to Married Women

A while back I read this awesomely frank and very entertaining article by writer Janelle Harris called 10 Annoying Things Single Women Hate to Hear on ESSENCE.com (full disclosure: I work there) and it tickled me just how spot on her list was. I haven’t been a single woman in eight years, but as I read along, I laughed, remembering just how much I cringed to hear some of that “advice” back during my single lady days.

I was reminded of the article the other day when a single girlfriend of mine said something to me I’ve grown very tired of being told. Between her, the article, and those uber popular “Sh*t [fill in the blank] Say” videos that everyone’s watching this month, I started listing all the things married women hate to hear. This is my list. Ladies, hit that “like” button and share it if you can relate.

5. “It’s not a couple thing is it?” – Why is that singles must always assume that any time a married couple invites them out it’s going to be a PDA fest? Or that every sentence we’ll speak will begin with “when you’re married”? Maybe we just want to enjoy your company, have a good laugh, and do what everyone else does when they’re at a social gathering — have fun. Without fail, the minute a married person extends an invitation to a single friend, especially one to an event at their home, this question always follows. No, it’s not a couple thing. It’s a friendship thing. Married people don’t have to be slobbing each other down or referencing their union to have a good time. Get on board, or get over it.

4. “Doesn’t your husband have any single friends like him?” Yikes! Talk about putting the pressure on. Its not that we married folk aren’t usually down for playing cupid, it’s just that it’s a little more complicated than it sounds. Guilt usually follows this question. If your husband doesn’t have any like minded single friends, you find yourself searching through the remaining selection desperately trying to forget why you ruled them out in the first place. Then, if and when you do attempt a hook up, your anxiety levels are high during their first date (which you will of course be forced to chaperone) as you watch between fingers and hope things don’t crash and burn before your eyes – for if they do, it will, of course, somehow be your fault. Continue reading

Posted in Hot Topics, Wife Gripes | Tagged , , , | 27 Comments

You Got The Diamond, Now These Are the 4 C’s of Marriage

A friend of mine is shopping for an engagement ring for the special lady in his life, so for now, he’s fixated on those four famous Cs (Color, Cut, Clarity, and Carat Weight). As he obsesses over how to get the perfect combination of each for just the right price, I couldn’t help but think about what those 4 C’s become once you’ve got the ring, you said yes, and you made it to and from the altar.

What are the 4 C’s of marriage? What four aspects of a marriage can be varied, manipulated, and combined to create a union that shines as bright as that rock you wear on your finger? Continue reading

Posted in Enjoy Your Marriage, Hot Topics, Lists to Live By, Married Life | Tagged , , , , | 14 Comments

Wondering If He’s The One? Marry the Man Who….

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Is he the marrying kind?

I’m often asked by readers (and girlfriends) exactly how I knew my husband was The One? That’s actually a tough question. Don’t get me wrong, I have many reasons for choosing Man to be my one and only, but those reasons may not be the same reasons that seal the deal for another woman. When it comes to choosing a spouse, honestly, to each it’s own. He has to be right for YOU, not me.

Now, that said, there are some “guidelines”, if you will, that I think every woman can look to in order to determine if the man she’s dating is the marrying kind. I wrote up a little list. Keep in mind, these are my thoughts and feelings, not fact. When it comes to love, you must always make the decision that’s best for YOU.

I just think these little “rules” will help you weed out the men waving giant red flags your way.

Marry the man who…

Isn’t afraid to say I love you.

Loves and respects you as much as he loves and respects his mother.

Isn’t too proud to admit he doesn’t want to lose you.

Listens even when you think he isn’t.

Watches you sleep.

Kisses you on the forehead.

Would rather cut off his hands than put them on you.

Who isn’t too ashamed to keep calling you when you won’t take his calls.

Can never refer to you as “the one who got away” because he always knew he couldn’t live without you.

Will stand up for you no matter what.

Will learn something new for you.

Will try something new for you.

Brings out the best in you.

Would be willing to miss his team play in the finals to spend a special evening with you.

Respects your friends and family as much as he respects you.

Doesn’t just text you, but rather, will pick up the phone and call you because he needs to hear your voice.

Who shows you his softer side, and admits the things he’s most afraid of.

Thinks you’re pretty without makeup.

Is patient with you.

Calls you beautiful instead of hot.

Wants to show you off to the world whether you’re in sweats or an evening gown.

Who speaks with love and not anger.

Who doesn’t need to be told you need him, he can just tell.

I could go on, and on, and on ladies, but you get the drift, right? If you’re single, I recommend taking a few notes. If you’re married, send this one to your single girlfriends okay?

Wives, add to my list below!

Happy Friday!

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Posted in Hot Topics, Wifey Wisdom | Tagged , , , , | 23 Comments