Viral Video: Even Siri Can’t Fix Your Marriage Problems

I’m back with a good laugh for you all. I know you’ve seen the new iPhone 4S commercials that claim that Siri can help you with anything, right? Well it looks like marital disagreements don’t make it onto Siri’s resume. Watch this video and you’ll see what I mean. (“Siri, send my wife directions to hell!” = hilarious!)

Posted in Married Life, Viral Videos | Tagged , , | 11 Comments

Marriage Isn’t a Joke (The Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries Lesson)

As most of you may have heard by now, Kim Kardashian has filed for divorce from her new husband Kris Humphries after just 72 days of marriage. Yup, no typos here. The pair was only married for 72 days! Her reasons for calling it quits? “Irreconcilable differences” is what the divorce papers say. Now, I can’t say I didn’t see this coming. Didn’t we all? It’s been fairly obvious from day one that she seemed more intent on making money from her nuptials than she did on starting a life and family with Kris. That much is clear. However, she did walk up to an altar, stand beside him, and take vows before her God, family, and friends. Does that mean nothing anymore?

When did marriage become something we do for money and fame, and not a spiritual union we’re responsible for upholding, cherishing, and devoting ourselves to? I don’t really care what she does with her life – she’s the one that has to sleep at night – but I am concerned with the message celeb stories like hers will send to those who do look up to her.

Marriage is not a joke or a game! It doesn’t matter whether you’re sitting on stacks of cash or don’t have a penny to your name, vows are vows, people. If you say them, you should mean them. Now, short of him beating on her or causing her some sort of irreparable physical or emotional harm, I can’t see what reason any wife who meant the words she vowed at the altar would have for giving up on her husband and her marriage in less than 90 days. Wow! Absolutely inexcusable.

If you don’t want to get married, fine. It’s your business and I won’t judge. However, if you do, or you are, please know that no one ever said it’d be easy and I’m pretty sure your loved ones didn’t come together to watch you vow to one another to stick it out until you just don’t feel like it anymore.

I won’t even get into the fact that she spent 10 million dollars on her wedding, earned 18 million from selling the rights and photos from every moment, and then turned around and slapped her hubby-to-be with an air tight prenuptial agreement I’m sure he’s already deeply depressed about signing. The whole thing is just a sad, sad, mess. Shame on Kim Kardashian. I’m just thankful didn’t waste 2-hours of my life watching the total bullshit that was her E! wedding special.

Posted in Hot Topics, News and Notes, Wife Gripes | 24 Comments

Your Man Can’t Hear You If You Talk Behind His Back

Sadly, if I had a dollar for every time I heard a woman badmouthing a seemingly decent man to her friends or co-workers, I’d be able to buy that vacation I’m seriously in need of. We’ve all heard them. It’s not pretty. “He’s such a loser!”…”I can’t believe he could be such an idiot.”….”If he doesn’t get it together I’m getting a divorce.” I could go on and on.

Now, granted, being in love doesn’t mean your life will always be like a great love scene in some movie. Sometimes you will want to punch each other, scream at one another – or maybe even contemplate leaving altogether. I get it, it happens. That said, shouldn’t he be the first to know you feel that way? Your friends shouldn’t get the news before he does. Blabbing about your relationship trouble to everyone who will listen instead of the person you’re having the issue with is a classic mistake so many women make. Unless you’re sitting across from a counselor, I don’t see how that’s going to help you in the long run.

I say it all the time, and I can’t say it enough: Communication is key ladies. Even when man doesn’t want to hear what I have to say, I tell him. Better him than all my friends and family members. He may not like what I’m saying, but I know he appreciates hearing it first and straight from the horse’s mouth.

Not coming to him first can present a lot of problems down the line that you won’t want to deal with. For one thing, family and close friends won’t forgive as easily as you do. They hold grudges – big time. That day you hated his guts and decided to go tell it on a mountain will pass, but the people you told will carry their judgments and personal opinions long after you two have made up.

I’ll stop here before I cross that thin line between venting and preaching. But, seriously, think about it. Are you talking to others about your problems more than you’re talking to him? If so, work on that if you can. It will strengthen the communication between you, which is never a bad thing.

Thanks for listening!

Posted in Hot Topics, Married Life, Wife Gripes | Tagged , , | 14 Comments

Meet A Wife Monday: Funny Girl Justine and Her Man Drop By

I’m thrilled to bring back our popular Meet A Wife Monday series and excited to introduce you all to Justine from Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One. (Hope you find inspiration in her story and wifey wisdom.) Ladies, be sure to show her some comment love!

The Wife: Justine, 24

The Man: Joey, 26

But You Can Call Them:
The LoMonacos (also the J-Los, but only if we’re friends)

How She Snagged Him: “I dazzled him with my Midwestern charm and appreciation of Aqua Teen Hunger Force.”

Married Since: 4.10.11

The Kids: “We have a pact not to discuss children for at least 4-5 years…although we already have a few names picked out.”

The Pet: “Sigh…still none yet. Though we like to torture each other by emailing pictures of rescue dogs at local shelters back and forth during the day.”

Place They Call Home: A one-bedroom garden apartment in Long Island.

How She Pays the Bills: Social Media Specialist for a kitchenware development company

How He Pays the Bills: Network Administrator for a school district (I usually just say he’s an IT guy)

What Makes Her Man Hot: “He does hilarious impressions, plays guitar and hockey, and loves the crap out of me.” Continue reading

Posted in Married Life, Meet A Wife Mondays | 9 Comments

Having Problems? Give It a S.E.C (Sex, Excitement, and Communication!)

Make it work!

Every Wednesday night I participate in the best free counseling on the planet – better known as Black and Married With Kids’ Marriage Chat twitter party (#marriagechat). Last night’s topic was improving your marriage – one of my favorites. My husband and I are always up for learning how to love each other better and stay committed to our marriage.

When the group was asked how we strengthen our marriage, I lifted my eyes from my laptop and asked my dear hubby what exactly it is we do to “boost our connection” during a rough patch. We both responded at the same time, “Communicate!” Then he goes, “We have more sex!”, just as I was saying, “We up the excitement factor.” We both had huge smiles on our faces, just thinking about how much of a difference those things make. There it was. We’d identified our formula for reviving those dead spells in our marriage. So, I say to you, if times are tough, give your marriage a S.E.C.! Here’s how:

Sex Things Up A Bit
Let’s be honest, sex plays a large role in any marriage. You should be having as much of it as you can squeeze in and hen it’s good, usually big smiles and happy thoughts follow. Now I’m not saying great sex will cure your problems, but a lack thereof can cause a little “tension” in your marriage. Hit the sack, together, and get back to the loving. Need inspiration? Play those songs that always “take you there”, act out a shared fantasy, or maybe start the night off with his and her massages. Whatever works for you – just do it! (Pun intended!)

Excite Each Other
Like it or not, sometimes the day-to-day routine of your marriage can get a little mundane. Don’t fret, it happens. We’ve all been there. The key to turning this around is making a conscious effort to liven things up a bit. There are so many ways to do this. On a small scale, you can decide to cook your favorite meal together or book a baby sitter and plan that date night you keep putting off. If you’re really in need of some action, try stalking deal sites like LivingSocial or Groupon and look for a romantic weekend getaway that’s a steal. Boredom can be the enemy in your marriage. Real talk? Have some fun! Every marriage needs it. It’s worth making the time for. Continue reading

Posted in Hot Topics, Lets Talk About Sex, Married Life, Wifey Wisdom | 16 Comments

Busted: 10 (Funny!) Things I’ve Caught My Husband Doing

Never mind the kids – men say and do the darndest things too! Here’s a sampling of some of the crazy/silly/funny/just-down-right-wrong things I’ve busted my husband doing recently. Fee free to read and laugh along!

1. Sneaking leftovers in the corner of the kitchen in the middle of the night. (Usually the ones I neatly packed away in a container to take to work.) When I catch him he tries to act like he was just getting some milk.

2. Stealing my fuzzy Christmas socks when he woke up late and couldn’t find two of his own that match.

3. Checking out the lady with the gigantic butt in IKEA, only for me to catch him doing it and call him on it and he say, “I thought I knew her from somewhere.”

4. Trying to cut the extremely long line on Saturday morning at Dunkin Donuts by telling people he has to rush and pick up his kids up from gymnastics class – we have no kids yet.

5. Googling “how to win a fight with your wife” – true story. Google history can tell you a lot in a marriage!

6. Using a Scattegories game box to hold up one side of the couch to fool me into thinking he fixed it like he said he would, so he can buy himself another day.

7. Singing Michael Jackson’s Beat It in the shower – loudly – when he didn’t know I’d come home.

8. Trying to teach the dog to bring him his car keys. (Never gonna happen!)

9. Calling the pharmacist to ask if it’s “really that dangerous to drink while on the medication” he’s taking after I throw out his beer. (I can’t make this stuff up!)

10. Stockpiling water bottles and canned food in the trunks of our cars “in case shit goes down” any time we watched an end-of-the-world type movie the night before.

Is your husband this crazy? Do share!

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Posted in Hot Topics, Married Life, My Husband's Bright Ideas, Wife Gripes | 16 Comments