It’s that time of year again. You know, the one when we all make loads of promises to ourselves (and each other) that we rarely intend to keep. I actually hate the word “resolutions” because I’m personally way more successful when I set “goals” and a “vision” for the year ahead. Words are powerful. Resolutions are made to be broken. Goals keep us motivated and inspired. With that said, each year my husband and I set the same three “goals” for our marriage, with the intention of making it stronger, happier and healthier than the year before. They are all evergreen goals that any couple can (and should!) adopt at any time in their lives, but hey, like I said, ‘tis the season, so why not share them with you now? Here they are:
Love With Absolute Intention
In my day-to-day life, I’m constantly reminded that love really is an action verb. When we love like we mean it, we find that even the most seemingly impossible tasks to overcome within our marriage suddenly seem just a little more attainable than they did they day before. Love is a force so powerful that when it’s harnessed and projected properly can move any mountain blocking a path. Don’t just love your spouse because you do—love them because you know that loving them even deeper will actually make you both stronger, and therefore strengthen your marriage too. Being loved and returning love foster positivity, creativity, resilience and persistence—all of which are amazing tools to inspire and motivate us to live out our dreams. For the New Year, vow to love each other more deeply and intently than you did this year and to keep track of all the wins (big or small) that you achieved together because you did.
Live (and Love) In the Moment
Life really is a series of moments; some of them are amazing, and some, well, not so much. It’s inevitable that we’ll have to ride out the bad times, which is why it’s so imperative to cherish and revel in the great ones. Whether you’re sharing a duet in the car on the way to the grocery store or finally taking that long overdue vacation for two, stop, breathe, smile and recognize that you’re having a moment, and it’s awesome. Allowing yourselves to live fully in those incredible moments—be they big or small—will make both the moment and the memory of it that much more enjoyable. I promise.
Remember (and Celebrate) Why You Chose Each Other
Seriously, exchanging vows is no joke. Whether you eloped or exchanged them in front of thousands, the promise you made to each other was a biggie. You didn’t make the decision to spend your life with someone lightly, and you didn’t pick your partner on a whim. (I hope. Smiles!) You chose them for a reason. Never forget why that is. The challenges we face within our marriages will often take us to the brink of utter insanity, but it’s inside those craziest of instants that we must reflect on why that person is “our person” to find our way back out of that wild maze of emotions. Don’t just reflect on the beauty of your bond on anniversaries or special occasions; rejoice in the “whys” every chance you can. It’s your secret weapon during the most challenging times in your marriage, and a very, very powerful one at that.
Just one more thing: Always remember to love like you mean it! (My personal motto!)
What goals do you set for your marriage? When do you reflect on and decide on them? You know I want to talk about it. All comments and questions welcome below!