Marriage really isn’t something people ever tell you that you’re not ready for to your face. (Unless of course your friends and family are ruder than mine.) But if what others might feel bothers you at all, which is okay, you can sometimes tell when they’re thinking it.
Man and I received lots of love and support on our wedding day, but I’m certain their were at least a couple people in the audience thinking that we were a little young to go there, that there was still so much time to get more things in order in our lives or maybe even that we couldn’t possibly be sure of what we really wanted in a mate having met and fell in love so young and while we were still becoming who we’re supposed to be. I don’t fault them. To me, it doesn’t matter whether they were right or wrong that day; it matters that whatever we weren’t prepared for then, we’ve faced together head-on since – one of those “things” being money matters, for sure.
Before you make it official, you know that when two become one, so do your financial hits and misses, but you don’t KNOW know it until you’re suddenly having money meetings with your spouse over dinner and taking the weight of it all to bed with you later on that night, thinking, would this be different or better if we hadn’t said “I do?” If you’re smart, you’ll wake up knowing that the answer to the question you dozed off pondering doesn’t actually matter because you’re not “single” anymore, you’re “married” – especially as far as the banks, IRS and debt collectors go. I wake up thinking that if I had to overspend or under save with anyone in this world, it’d still be him. The man I chose to journey through life with. This means moments like the ones I’m describing are more like detours along the way; not roadblocks.
I feel the same way on the days love tests me and takes me to new limits I never thought I’d see. Any wife who says she never wonders whether marriage was or is for her, is telling you a lie. However, it’s the ones who wonder way more often just how they’d breath or move or live if they woke up one day without their husband that truly get what it’s all about. What you were or weren’t “ready for” or “accustomed to” on your wedding day holds no weight to what you’re capable of overcoming and the true and raw emotional value of finding the person who completes you and being blessed enough to have even a day in this life to share with them. You know?
Awesome post. Over the last three years the what if we never got married thought has crossed my mind several times. Oddly enough it’s usually on bill pay day. Even though I’m a better saver and I have had better control over my debt, I would not trade mylover for all the money in the world.
Nice to know that I'm not alone in finding that the whole financial piece of the puzzle sparks these feelings more-so than anything else. How do you move past it? I welcome any advice my other wife divas have to give. Truly. Bring it, girl.And, thanks for the comment love!
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"However, it’s the ones who wonder way more often just how they’d breath or move or live if they woke up one day without their husband that truly get what it’s all about."
This line gave me the chills. True love in marriage is such a blessing.
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I'm glad those words spoke to you. I feel very strongly about that. We all have "thoughts" but it's those other thoughts that keep me going and let me know what my heart is speaking….thanks for commenting and stopping by!
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However, it’s the ones who wonder way more often just how they’d breath or move or live if they woke up one day without their husband that truly get what it’s all about
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