The Other Women In Your Husband’s Life: Appropriate vs Get Real Lady

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I’ve blogged in the past about my total willingness to accept that my husband has a “work wife” in his life. I know her. I trust her. And, she has proven time and time again to have both his back and OUR back! (That’s three thumbs-up in my book.) That said, there are a few other women he has encountered through his work life that I’d much rather not hear about ever again. I won’t go into too many details (I’m aware many of his co-workers, both past and present, could possibly be reading this, and he doesn’t need the drama!) but I’m going to sum it up with a few thoughts that will get you to where I’m headed with this, and then you can tell me what you think…

If You Want to Be His “Friend”, You Should Want to Know Me Too!

I cannot tell you how many times my husband has come home talking about a new female co-worker buddy he chats with on the job who used this phrase: “Oh Please, I know you’re married. I just want to be your friend!” Then, they always follow up this bull with the same telltale mistakes. They are as follows: They never ask about me, or us; just him. They’re conveniently nowhere to be found when I’m around the job or suddenly “shy” when he’s with me at the office holiday party. Get real, lady! You don’t want to be his friend; you want more. I showed my husband how to spot the signs long ago, and we still laugh together at these so called “buddies” and how quickly they fade away when they realize he’s happy at home and staying there.

If You Have A Man of Your Own, Don’t Rely On Mine!

I’m 100-percent not cool with a female “friend” of my husband’s calling on him in their time of need. Money problems? Kids wrecking your nerves? Need “to talk”? I don’t care! That’s not his job, nor is it the role he should be playing in your life. He has already been cast as the main man I depend on in my life. Get a new script, and get real lady!

Now, my husband is usually on board with these typical tricks of the trade, but every now and then we find ourselves “discussing” how he should or shouldn’t “let down” a female co-worker nicely – and if you ask me, we spend way too much time hashing it out. For me, it’s simple: I’m okay with you having a few female friends that aren’t me, but there are rules that must be followed. 1. If she was your friend long before you’d ever even laid eyes on me, I won’t dispute that bond. 2. Don’t call her a “friend” if she hasn’t earned that title; and trust me, earning it takes way more than just providing good conversation on your lunch break or offering to get you coffee. And, 3. You just don’t need many female friends in your life if you have a best friend like me, so you better pick wisely, buddy! Okay? Okay…now no more talk about these women, please!

Oh, and one other thing: I should note that in my adult lifetime, I’ve had a total of six really close, totally-like-my-brother-100-percent-platonic type guy friends — four of which I met and knew B.H. (Before Hubby). At the present time, I only have three left, two of which are as gay as they come, and the last up and moved all the way across the country to Los Angeles and says he’s never coming back because he loves it there. In short: I do meet nice guys, quite often, and we keep it friendly in passing. But, I don’t personally make it a habit to put any real effort into increasing the number of male “buddies” in my life. I just don’t see the point. My husband is my best friend and the others have enough awesomeness to go around. The majority of the straight men I interact with on a daily basis outside of the office “belong” to a close friend of mine (wink!) and we’re on a double date, or they’re family. Case closed!

Ladies, can you feel me on this one? What are your thoughts on the “other women” in his life? Any gripes? What are your “rules” and expectations? Think I’m crazy? Whatever…let’s discuss!

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196 Responses to The Other Women In Your Husband’s Life: Appropriate vs Get Real Lady

  1. Ronni says:

    I love this post! I feel you all the way!

      • Pebbles says:

        I need some advice from you lovely ladies. My husband of 11 years and I had some communication issues recently in our marital lives. We had drifted apart a little bit with all the extra responsibilies that life has thrown at us. We were both unhappy and didn’t really know what was causing it at the time. During that time my usually caring, kind husband had broken my trust my hiding and lying to me about certain things he had done afraid that he would hurt me. I don’t want to get into that right now. In short he told me everything and knows how badly he hurt me and is working on getting my trust back and I’m really happy with him right now. One of the things he lied during the time was about a new female coworker he had met and became friends with. He got a little too friendly with her which he admits was wrong.. Although it didn’t go too far he wasn’t open to me about all their interaction.And like I said we were fighting for small things during the time so he didn’t want to make it worse, he says. Anyways now he has stopped texting and going to lunches(not alone) with this female friend and also trying to avoid her. This female friend knows he’s married and she didn’t seem to have other intentions but has flirted with him once at an office party. Now that he has been avoiding her she keeps trying to get him to go to lunch and keeps coming to him to start a conversation. They don’t work on the same project now, so I don’t see why they should hang out. So my question is how to stop this friendship without making it awkward. We are not from the US ,so there are cultural differences too which may have contributed to some of the issues in our relationship when we meet people from other cultures, it gets a little hard to know what their real intentions are. Things may get interpreted differently at times..Please help!

      • Pebbles says:

        Also I have to add that there was nothing inappropriate shared between them even in texts.. The fact that he felt attracted to her at the time and hid their friendship from me is what made it wrong. He stopped when he thought he was giving her too much attention and felt it was wrong doing to me.

    • chrissie says:

      my husband went to lunch with a female friend, and on the third time of having lunch with the 'friend' she told him that she had been in love with him for three years! Beware ladies!!

      • Lisa says:

        Im curious. What was his reaponse to her?

        • Anita says:

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          • PRAY FOR HER says:

            Are you guys serious?!?!? It is 100% inappropriate for any man to have a female secretary or “assistant” wether he is in a relationship or not!!! But I guess you are all thinking in a worldly mindset! How dare any man I a relationship work closely with another female? There is a reason women didn’t work before out of the home long ago. Women should be in the home and men in the work field. I’m all for women’s empowerment, but why have women forgotten their value, their honor and dignity????? How dare any man spend time privately with any women but the one he is with??!!! I feel so sad for you if your man was at lunch alone with another women even once before you left his ass! And at that, YOUR HUSBAND!?!?! WTF? No women should ever put up with that. I do t care what excuses you or your man or society comes up with, it is absolutely unacceptable for any one in a relationship, to be spending alone time with the opposite sex. Period. You guys, this is terrible what I’m reading, and it brings me to tears that you all are so accepting of this world and it’s absolutely diminished values. We females have allowed ourselves to be trampled on and now, what’s worse, by one another. Every women knows a good man when she sees one. Don’t ever, in this broken, confused, wicked and selfish minded world, believe that a women could be close to a man that is good, and not be attracted, interested and willing, if the situation presented itself. And the same vise versa. You take a 30 minute drive down these roads and look around you, watch tv for 10 minutes or listen to any 3 popular songs and you tell me what this societies mind set is all about. The point is, beyond the wicked ways of the world, as most of you blogging here seem to be apart of, where is your own respect and standards for your relationship and self? Don’t you want to be treated as a princess, as a queen? Do you believe Prince Charming has a female personal assistant in his chambers? No that is called “his princess” we are the helpmate and partner when we marry one another. God didn’t say he needs a helper and let me just add a few more women to his sidefor extra help. NO, it was ADAM & EVE. NOT ADAM EVE AND ELLEN!!! Stop making excuses for shitty men who don’t have respect for you! If you tell your man your not cool with him spending alone time with any other women or working side by side with another female anymore and he has an issues, be happy, because you are teaching and you can leave his ass and get someone better who won’t cheat on you. Because as far as I’m concerned, it is cheating on my book when a man vents his frustrations to any other women but you and is being intimate with her. THAT IS INTAMACY YOU GUYS. INTIMACY IS BEING CLOSE WOTH SOMEONE. You ladies need to stop and think about how you feel about yourself and if you value yourself. Talk to yourself about your identity. Because if you knew who you were and where you come from, then you would understand your value. But it seems many of you will remain blinde and beside yourselves. Please women, please, every single one of you deserves true love. Sorry for cursing but that shit heats me up. – I am a former prostitute. I used to be the lowest on the totem pole for self value. But now that I have went through and realized where I come from, I understa my value. I am royal. My Father would never approve of a man who thought it was ok to share intimate time with another women. One women one man. After all, if Adam and Eve hadn’t sinned, they would still be alive today. It makes me wonder many things. As long as you continue to accept poor treatment or less than what God has planned for you, you will get just that, less than what God planned for you. Trust me, what He has for you is out there, I AM LIVING in the Truth today.

          • Linda Dunn says:

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  2. Kenda says:

    I totally agree with this post. I do not get down with new female friends trying to be all friendly with my guy. That is not the business.

    • ManWifeDog says:

      I think sometimes it's the "co-workers" who feel they have an advantage. No matter what, they get to see him every day. (Whether we like it or not.) They think it's the inside track!

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    • verticus says:

      I know other women are going to be in your man's life…and I understand that some of them were around before you two even knew each other…but how do you deal with the ones that you have those womanly intuitions about who don't respond when you're trying to be friends with them too, who think it's okay to turn to their "big brother" (when you can tell that's NOT how it is with her entirely), etc.? I don't want to make him feel like he has to pick between me and his friend, but how is it fair that I just have to "deal with it" that she has more than friendly feelings for my husband, even if he doesn't see it? ='(

      • Susie L says:

        It is pretty simple. I explained it to my husband this way. If the female friend is asking him to choose her over me then it’s always wrong. If she’s getting her emotional needs met by him instead of looking for someone else that’s wrong. If she wants him to spend time with her instead of me that’s wrong. We have a limited amount of time we get to spend together if it’s not a priority for him to spend time with me then he’s choosing someone else over me. If someone else is more important to you then why are you married to me.

  3. MellM says:

    There's a thin line when making new friends of the opposite sex in relationships. On one hand, you don't want to stifle your partner and make them nervous or drive them to be secretive about who they are meeting and befriending. On the other, you don't want to be naive. Your partner may have the best intentions and that other person may or may not have malicious intent, but setting some ground rules in the first place is a perfect way to prevent "misunderstandings" about what type of conduct is expected of a SO.

    • ManWifeDog says:

      VERY good point. I tell my husband all the time that first and foremost I appreciate his honesty. I wouldn't know about any f this if he didn't tell me…you know? That said, occasionally I do have to watch where I step. Sometimes I go on and on and on about it and he has that "uh-oh, I never should have said anything face on." Know that one?

  4. Sophia says:

    I had to teach my husband about female "friends" long ago. Now he is a pro at spotting the raggedy ones and shuts them down immediately. Great post. Thanks for sharing.

    • ManWifeDog says:

      Ha! Yes, we need to give them a full blown course in "women to beware of!" Glad to know my hubby isn't the only star pupil out there! :-)

      • Jamaal says:

        So can we have a post about that??? I'd appreciate it, that's for sure. :)
        My recent post An Update on Race Issues

      • Jp says:

        My husband is known as the “counsellor” for his female friends. Whenever they have problems whether it be career, men in their life etc. he’s the one providing them with advice. This makes me feel uncomfortable because we have enough problems in our relationship so escaping to someone else’s problems just makes things more difficult. How do I get him to see that I feel he is getting uncomfortably close to these women by being a counselor?

        • Susie L says:

          Counseling is a great idea. He is obviously getting emotional needs met by helping these women. As long as he needs to have validation from many women it will create distance in any serious relationship he has.

  5. Eszti says:

    It is always a really hard thing to handle these situations, but I think after 10 years of marriage I already can handle this. I know that my husband is interested in other ladies as well, but I trust him and I know he won't cheat on me… so why be angry?
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  6. LOVE this. Charli, you are ALWAYS on point with your posts. Thank you for keeping it real…once again. :)
    My recent post The Balance between Contentment and Ambition

  7. blissfulwife says:

    Amen sister! Great post!! So true!!
    Nicki G.

  8. Tonia says:

    I agree 100% and I am single. I only have 2 male friends straight up platonic …no hanky panky with either, but then one of them is gay (LOL) It seems that you guys have communicated well and have an understanding and communication is key.
    My recent post LOVE FOR GABBY!

  9. Michelle says:

    Ha ha! I always refer to my boss as my work husband. He has me checking to see if his tie is straight, picking up his lunch etc. His wife is nice but I know she gets tired of his over night hours. He gets a room across the street because it's crazy busy this season.

    I wouldn't want my husband to have a work "wife". He'd have to get another profession or a male work "wife" LOL
    My recent post Summer Is Leaving But Keep Wearing Sunscreen

    • Mog says:

      Why don't you want your husband to have a "work wife" if that is essentially your job in relation to your boss? What are you doing for your boss that you don't want another woman doing for your husband? I don't get it.

    • Sonia says:

      Can’t his wife check his tie? Is he unable to look in the mirror? This is not even funny. Is it okay to buy him birthday gifts and breakfast too?

    • Ann says:

      Karma’s a bitch, Michelle. You sound like you are enjoying the fact his wife probably doesn’t enjoy you being the work wife. Prepare for the same or worse when you marry, sweetie.

  10. My husband only has 2 "other women" in his life: his mom and one of his friends that he knew before me, and me & her are cool. I don't expect any new ones to come around, mostly because hubby doesn't play that. He doesn't desire that potential drama, which puts me at ease. The female friend he has is really, truly, like family. Completely platonic. We were actually over her family's house for the holiday. So as far as the other women, he's not interested, and I'm not worried :) I think he could tell them off better than I can, haha.

    • worried says:

      hi i just want to say that my man met this 26 year old chick that will call him and text him with her problems. i do not like it at all and i have told him this. he always talks about her in every conversation that we have. he is 51 years old and she calls him "dad". he met her way after we met , should i let it go or tell him shes got to stop calling with her problems and texting him? one more thing, he works with her and helped her get the job with him. i am looking a job and he does not help me. what should i do about her?

      • Sonia says:

        Don’t do anything about her, just dump him. Lol, sorry, I don’t mean to be rude but he KNOWS she shouldn’t be calling him with her problems and CERTAINLY, if he respected you, he would have helped you find a job FIRST!

  11. On point! I couldn’t agree more!

  12. Noel says:

    I agree that neither husband nor wife needs to actively seek out a plethora of opposite-sex friends at work or any other settings. There's a difference and space between a friend and an acquaintance. What do you think about a boyfriend who is constantly "liking" the pics of a facebook friend of opposite-sex, and the pics are usually of the fb friend dressed in outfits revealing a lot of cleavage and mini-mini skirts?

    • ManWifeDog says:

      I think it sounds like he can't keep his eyes to himself and isn't being very respectful to the woman he's with. Your cleavage and butt should be his only concern if his focus is on making you happy. :-)

  13. JazzyMac says:

    Here we go again with wives talking about the "predator" other women "stalking" your man. SMH. These conversations usually happens about once a year–like clockwork. If a man answers his "caller ID" phone in front of you…lol…much less gives out his number…then HE IS DISRESPECTING HIS FAMILY. How many female coworkers hunt down the company directory to get their "friend's" home number? Yeah right. He gave it up, and he's now playing the "victim" about this woman who just won't leave him alone. Let me tell it like this: Every guy at my job has approached me to be "friends". They are ALL married, and have been told (by me) to search elsewhere. I am usually told that I'm too uptight because I can't just "be friends"…and that I need to "live a little". lol! They all invite me out…to the local bar to watch the game (no prob), to to club for happy hour (no prob), to the running path to run (hmm…ok), to their house when their wife is working late (yeah, ok), to the jazz festival that coincidentally only they show up to (hmmmm).

    All B.S.

    I spend more time fighting off married men then I do getting approached by single men. Who knew that these married men were busy talking to their wives about the women who just can't leave them alone?? ;-)

    Any woman who is that NAIVE about their husbands needs a lesson in Biology 101 (Animal Kingdom).

    I'm not off the soapbox yet…because the season of blaming other women for their cheating husbands has just started.

    • ManWifeDog says:

      Both the women and the husbands are to blame here and I feel i made that clear. If you think there aren't as many "predators" out there as there are no-good husbands, you're either lying to yourself or blind. I think my thoughts are just that — mine. And as a wife who is having real experiences with these women I have every right to share them. I regularly share my husband's faults and imperfections as well as my own. So, your extreme anger feels out of place. I applaud you for being a woman who would never get involved with married men, but shame on you for scolding me for saying these women do exist. If you've never met a single woman up to no damn good and willing to go very, very far to get a married man's attention, than you're just not looking. They're right there standing with all those bad news men you seem to harbor so much hatred for. My article is biased toward wives just as your comment is biased toward single women who get hit on by married me. We can both have our opinions and stand firmly by them. But that said, just one side note: "Naive about their husbands needs" sounds like pretty odd wording coming from a woman who says she's never gone there and never will. I've only known women who do get involved with married men and married men who cheat to speak in terms like that. Just saying. Either way, I appreciate all the comment love as always. Since you posted this same comment on both BAMWK and my site I wanted to be sure you knew I read it. ;-)

      • SAM says:

        These women do exist, I have not one but two in my husbands life, but thankfully he has come to see their true colours. I am thrilled you are so open and willing to talk about this topic and tell it like it is. Here here!

      • jill says:

        Right on!! These women are EVERYWHERE!! They do look for "friendship" aka sitting in the shadows waiting for the next rough pathc between husband and wife so she can lure. Awful that women can't just find their own guy. Sheesh

      • steve says:

        You women are all worried about losing your man to another woman what are you are you worried about if you trust your man maybe your man as got a boring life with you and enjoys the company of an other woman who makes him laugh and listen’s to his home life problems

    • TysonAustar says:

      As a very married guy, Jazzy with respect I've heard this song before. This sounds just like the song of the "humble brag" bird. So many married men want me what am I to do? I think it is clear that neither men nor women are blameless in this. It takes two to tango and some dance "partners" can be quite insistent. Not sure why you've mentioned so many examples, seems like a timeline of events to me? I can't help but wonder who the "other woman" in this Jazz festival scenario is?

      Love hearing the female perspective on this so many great comments. Us guys are really lucky to have women like you counseling sharing your thoughts and feelings.

      Go girls! Well done.

  14. Am totally with you..I remember I felt so jealous when my husband was thinking of getting a young female secretary saying "women are more sincere and young because they are efficient." I know my husband is the last person who would get involved with his secretary; but I have to admit I was jealous even when there was only talk about getting such a secretary. Sometimes I feel I'm too possessive and insecure especially when a girl friend of mine said she's totally okay with her husband having a young, female secretary. Yet can't help feeling the smoke without fire:)
    My recent post Good news?!?!?!!!???

  15. lucas says:

    My ex husband has been living with another woman for 6 years. I was so unhappy , I tried but I don’t want other men… I tried to get him back but it didn’t work!
    i almost gave up! but i never lost hope because i know i will get him back someday and today as i am saying did for me, he brought back my husband and our marriage has been in a good shape and our marriage is getting perfect like never before

  16. Rosemary says:

    I am with you on this. Too many people (both men and women) who thought they would never disrespect their marriage vows gradually drift into emotional (or physical) affairs with people who were once "just friends". Sometimes there are predatory intentions involved, but all too often it is a matter of crossing one blurry line at a time. It is vital to know exactly where the lines are drawn and then stay as far away from them as possible.
    My recent post Sex By Appopintment

  17. Gisela says:

    My husband for 5 long years had an assistant that I didn't know about who he took out to lunch, lent money to and hung out at the office with. The assistant took it upon herself to become my husband's confidante and felt she had the right to be calling my husband at all hours of the day and night to ask for advise about her kids, her relationship, even to ask for driving directions. There were long texting sessions late at night on holidays, such as Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve and not once during that time did I ever meet this woman or hear about her. Did this woman ever consider that her friend had a wife and that the wife was being excluded from their little friendship and that the man's time with his family was being interrupted by her constant calling and texting? Didn't matter to her either that when I found out about that friendship I demanded it stop because she continued emailing my husband behind my back ,or so she thought. The friendship or whatever that was has been over now for a while but I still detest that woman. Btw, not solely blaming the other woman, my husband is a dog too!

    • ManWifeDog says:

      I can imagine this was a very frustrating situation for you. I get it, I do. On one hand, I'm glad that your husband was very transparent about his actions. But did all of this continue after you asked him to cut off such intimate communication with her? Did you ask? Just curious. These women are everywhere and many of them will continue to forge ahead with close-friendships with married men, the whole time masking it as "friendship." I try to make sure my husband sees them coming a mile away and does his part when they try to work their way in. That way he won't share the blame. Communication is the key there. I'm so glad you commented and shared your story. Thanks so much for stopping by and I hope to see you around the blog again soon.

      • lisa says:

        What if they continue to talk behind your back? This is over my husbands secretary. I saw what she was doing and let him know up front. Then he TOLD HER that it upset me. Her solution? Email and private chat sessions while he’s working out of town 3 days a week. Then I found out quite by accident that at one time they were a couple of sorts. I confronted him on it and he denied it. I just chalked it up to him not wanting to admit he was ever that stupid. As time has gone on though, she keeps positioning herself in such a way that she is always around my husband. She even makes sure that on the days he’s working out of town, something “important” has to be looked at the minute he gets back in town so I’m not even the first one he sees. He pays her well but she is always asking for money, to get her oil changed, pay little bills here and there, even 20 every so often for the lottery. So here is my delima; how do I make it clear to him without sounding like a nagging wife that I want it to stop? I’ve considered asking him to let her go but they’ve both proven they will continue to talk behind my back no matter how it makes me feel. Any suggestions

        • Sonia says:

          Tell him you want a divorce! That should jolt him out of his cloud.

          • Lety says:

            I would not tolerate this at all, no way! I am not wasting my youth on some guy that doesn’t respect me. I would ask for a divorce. There’s so many hot guys out there waiting for me.

  18. stephanie says:

    I fill you on this topic, my husband has a friend that calls him any time she wants, i blame myself for letting this go on for so long.finally i told her to not call my husband as a matter of fact she has one. I also put my husband in check also.

  19. Jannice says:

    I feel as if am the one you are talking about,my man has got so many close female friends for whom i dont understand wat they share?am mad n about to quit the whole thing.

  20. A Good Wife says:

    I (hesitantly) admit that I have a possessive streak where my husband is concerned and I'm working on that. There will be no talk about a "work wife"; that just isn't funny. I've earned the wife title and it should be mine all by myself. I get the concept of the work wife, but I really really believe people shouldn't flirt with tempting situations and the work environment offers many. Setting boundaries and expectations is the way my husband and I handle opposite-sex friendships. Knowing that he is respecting these boundaries helps me a lot! I have a handful of good female friends and that's good enough for me. I make an effort to avoid close male friendships. I know how him having a close female friend makes me feel. I don't want to chance burdening him the same way.
    My recent post I *do* trust my husband

  21. Madel says:

    My husband has a female friend that in the past wanted to be more than friends, he met her when he was getting a divorce from his first wife and he said that he helped him and became his friend, They have a bond that makes me uncomfortable. I talk to him about it and every time I mention her name he gets angry with me. I tried to befriend her when I first met her but she did not accept my friendship; she would always call when she knew I wasn't around and she called one time when I was home and asked him if I was home. He says that they are just friends and that if we weren't together they will be still just friends, nothing more. I try to teach him home some female friends have other motives, specially since he says this woman agreed to be just friends. I know by the way she acts when I try to talk to her that she has other motives. I know she is the reason all of his previous relationships after his first wife failed because she was always in the picture trying to cause division between him and his girlfriend and now between him and I. Every time I try to talk about him he tells me to stop being insecure and not to mansion her anymore. I told him that I am not jealous about him and his female friend I just don't understand if she is such a good close friend why doesn't she want to get to know me. He says that she noticed that I was insecure from the first time we met and that is why she doesn't like me. I don't get that. Please can someone give me some feedback? I am not willing to give up on my husband, he is a good man but this relationship with this female friend is wearing our relationship out. If I don't mention her we are ok. but as soon as I ask anything about her, hell breaks loose. Man! I need help. Am I over reacting, Am I insecure???

    • Didi says:

      Your instincts are good. My husband of two years frequently hands over his business card to new women he meets when I am with him. One he recently met accepted his friend request in Facebook but refused to friend me, although I have known her longer than he has. He is a professor and he constantly uses that intro to generate friendly exchanges with women, even though I am with him.

  22. Wendy says:

    Hi Madel:
    What your husband is doing is unacceptable. He needs to put you as a priority as your feelings should count more than the other woman–he married you! If he is placing her more as a priority, than that is important information for you and you should be ready to put down an ultimatim and follow through with it. You deserve respect and dignity and he is playing two women off each other which is very selfish. Good luck!

  23. Marie says:

    Good article. I am fine with my husband having female friends that have no issue being friends with me. It’s when the females want to only speak to the hubbs when im not around that im offended. My hubby had a female friend with whom he had a fling with, she was supposedly his best female friend and confidant and I couldnt figure out why I was so uneasy until One day she was texting him about having her husband help him find a job. I asked my hsband if her husband knew about their past and he said no, I told him I didnt trust him to be friends with a woman who would hide that kind of thing from her husband. Sure enough when my husband told her she needed to be upfront with her husband about her past. She got defensive and said “No, dont tell B*$/^(her husbands name). That move right there let me know she was untruthful and had bad intentions whether with my husband or someone else. My husband deleted her from his phone, email, fb, and toldher they couldnt be friends. They havent spoken since and im happier that she is out the picture.

  24. Raylene says:

    My husband has female friends I get that. Before we got married when we were just engaged I found these texts back and forth where he kept telling her she was beautiful and saying I love you, calling her dear stuff like that. I confronted him about it and he insisted they were just friends. I believed him and still do. But I also took that time to explain to him that it seemed like more than a friendship. That because we were engaged I wasn't ok with him having that kind of friendship with a woman. It was inappropriate. So he deleted her from his accounts and phone etc… Later after we were married I felt bad and thought who am I to tell him who he can talk to or not talk to. So I told him I was sorry but he wasn't to talk to her in the affectionate way he used to. That all the things he says to me because he loves me he should never be saying to her. He doesn't talk to her that way anymore and I know she is unaware that I asked him to stop talking to her originally because I've read messages and I saw the excuse he gave her had nothing to do with me. Please note I've only kept an eye on the friendship they have had because it was inappropriate. But now that they have been talking for quite some time again, we are married now, she makes no effort to get to know me whatsoever and I feel insulted and I don't like the woman. I'm now pregnant and we are expecting our first child. She heard and asked him r u going to have a baby. Upon him saying yes her instant response was these words " oh my god that's insane ". Now I think typically a normal response would be a wow congratulations or an I'm happy for you – you know something along the lines of that. I am not comfortable with this woman at all anymore but I don't want to be a wife that tells him who he can talk to I'm working on being supportive of his decisions. I'm not concerned about him cheating on me, I know he won't but it bothers me that he makes such an effort to be friends with a woman that doesn't make an effort to get to know me , and doesn't seem to like or support my husband and I starting a family. He defends her when he should be defending me and how i feel. I have made him the number one person in my life not counting my two mothers ( I'm adopted) and I would always defend him over some other man close friend or not. I feel like he gets frustrated with me when I point out how she acts to him like he would rather side with her than me. I don't know what to do I am at my wits end and I need advice!!

    • My heart is crushed says:

      Don't hesitate to set your down and tell him it is inappropriate to talk with this girl. you are married and going to add a little one to the family. If you don't stop it now and let him know the three of you are all he needs, you will find, one girl will turn into two, then three, etc. Tell him he chose you to marry and not her, if he no longer wants it that way you and baby will be leaving. you will have enough to worry about during pregnancy and after, he needs to support you. if he won't straighten up, get rid of him now—the longer you stay, the harder it gets. God be with you, I pray he does the right thing.

    • Leah Craig says:

      I think you should let him know you are uncomfortable. After all, you are his wife and you are a pretty big deal. You think? It's one thing to be submissive with allowing him to make decisions concerning the household and the overall well being of the family. No women that is in a courtship or married to a man should ever feel inferior. If women have no need to have male friends or we are careful not to put our husbands in an offensive position, then why should we allow are men to have female friends that they communicate with on a regular basis. This does not make us insecure and jealous. That is a lie from the pit of Hell. You are his confidant. End of story. You don't like it and he needs to fix it. Simple.

    • Tyson Austar says:

      I feel this may benefit from the perspective of a very married guy. Raylene I realize it was ages ago, but this may help you or someone else. I do feel that listening to your recollection of events it seems very unusual at best to say "I love you" to another girl also saying "she's beautiful" again something I just wouldn't do. But ok, you asked him not to do that, he agreed and complied. Fair enough and you did the "right thing" trusting him to contact her again. To me the danger sign is the "oh my god that's insane" comment that clearly illustrates that she thinks he's crazy for having a child with you. It also shows whilst she has been patiently playing along. Hoping for you to make a mistake her desperation finally shown as he will now always have a permanent connection to you. Discuss with your husband kindly that anyone who thinks you are insane to have a baby with someone and doesn't wish you well is someone that should not be involved with your family. You'll know if there is something he is not being truthful about if he starts to try and wiggle her out of it explaining that that's not what she meant etc. Calmly stand you ground, you started a family together she thought that was insane and then didn't give her congratulations there is no stretching that over to somehow she's ok with it.

      Hope this message finds you well and gives you some insight.


    • Sonia says:

      Hi, I read your post and I have to say, be CAREFUL!! Those kinds of women try to deceive the men so they can get closer. I have a husband too who is not a cheater but since we have been having marital problems, I noticed that the “secretary” has made totally over the top affectionate comments to him. I just found a text the other day of her sending him a big KISS and a very happy face with heart eyes!!! I want to beat her ASS but I have small children and need to be as stable and loving as I can till I sort this all out. My big red flag was last Christmas when she sent gifts for my husband and kids…my husband told me the gift was for me, not him…when I opened it, I was shocked she would buy him something so ugly. I swear, I brought it to him and said, “honey, this was not for me, it was for you and it’s the ugliest thing I have ever seen. She obviously has no taste.” (It was a dirt green scarf). My husband just stared at me shocked and said, how did you know? I told him I wasn’t stupid, that’s how. He was very careful about talking to her in front of me but NOW, a year later, she just texted a bunch of provocative stuff…which tells me he could very well be f-king her now. I am at a loss what to do. I need a lawyer. Sad thing is that he’s one and promised me the world if I supported him through law school. What an awful lie!!! Watch it ladies! Even the best men can turn into dogs!!!

  25. Ray-ray says:

    What if he has six female friends. Three of them are ex-girlfriends.
    Before me. I use to deal with thug-ish men in the past. He was the frist with degrees So thought maybe in this circle differnet rules. . Two of them are in love with him and have made efforts not to be friend me but, request has handi man services for every thing. I figured in the beginning he would get rid of them as we get close no need to make waves if he wanted them he could easily have been with any of them. One has a close bond with the family almost like if she is the daughter in law and I am the friend. They do anything for her and correct her for nothing she does. I tryed to see it as being mature adult but, I could not one chick was calling his phone and he didnt anwser she called my phone to ask me why everytime he is with you he dont take my calls. I hung up and told him uou need to check her his response block her from your phone I was like no N word you better let her know. She anit that important and never call either of us ever wagain for crossing the line. Nope it flipped on me I am insecure immature she needed work done for her insurance. I am working for her. obviously she feel the floor because if she will call my phone that tells me that she thinks she superior to me. You know I let the crap slide. Next biggie the the we have a daughter she is born my mother passed three years before. My family is pretty big she seats with my baby daddy the whole baby shower he never even left her side. I was publicly humiliated Ben he flirted with my niece who was from out of town and staying with us and he inappropriately talked and played and flirted with her the whole time she was there. When I talked to him about it insecure immature paranoid sick in the head getting angry with me. Once our baby wa born my oldest sister who I saw once over our mother died drove into town to see the baby she had opened her home to us when his sister had cancer and was very sick we drove she pulled out the royal carpet for us. So there are some really nice cars in the drive way just family but looks like a party. The friend cimes over with a sick kid coughing new baby i say something nively. She coukd careless about the baby she got a phone my man needs to see forget my family our moment she gotta phone he gotta program right now so what new baby I run this man and he do what I say. Anither public display if disrespect I was about to go Sophia on her. I yelled and lost it in return he kicked my family out. My brothrr in law said I been kicked out of much better places. I packed my stuff and moved out frist chance I could. We are not together I asked the grandmother to watch her and the friend called them they in their late eighties to use his pick up truck grandfather to move a stove so she wouldnt have to pay delivery. Grandmother explained what a great friend she has been cook food when her son died and her daughter. I was thinking wow this is where the boundary issues start from the mom down to the son. I dont want my daughter to grow up not being a priority also how to feel that any friend came over for her husband has a right to come in to be disrespectful use house I realize that is this a bad look there’s nothing to f*** men were more respectful than this alleged gentleman and I’ll be back looking at the character of the man and not so much of what I think a man is suppose to be because I never want to be disrespected to level of disrespect I was with degrees!

  26. sofia says:

    Raylene. Just tell Your Husband to end that friendship. Aint nobody got time for that and you shouldnt either!!

  27. Kimberly says:

    I thought I was crazy, but after reading this I’m not. My husband and I have been together 10+ years. He has said that I’m going nuts and that I’m making it a big deal that he has a lot of female friends. These female friends aren’t “friends” that he has met before me either. He does have 1 particular female friend (didn’t meet her before me, probably met 3 years ago). That he and she did have a crush on each other and are now just “bff”. I’ve told him, “what about me? I thought I was your best friend and love life partner?” What should I make of this?

  28. Kimberly says:

    Hi everyone!! I left a comment earlier, but I feel like I just need to vent out and I hope that maybe someone out there can shed some light my way.

    My husband and I have been together 10+ years, he met this female friend, (not actual initials of the female friend SF) approximately 3 years ago. He told me awhile back that he and she did have a crush on each other, and since she didn’t want to ruin the relationship that my husband and I have, they are just close friends. I was jealous with him talking, texting, hanging out with each other, etc. She moved to a different state a 1 year & a half ago to pursue her career dreams. They do still keep in contact, because of the type of business they do. I’m not sure if her moving to a different state helped me with not being jealous of their relationship. He has flown over to see her in that state where she currently lives in. I don’t know if his relationship with this close female friend is really good intentions, now that I know that they did have feelings for each other. He does have a lot of female friends, but this one just hits me in the stomach.

  29. asma says:

    please help me

  30. AnaMarie says:

    I do feel you. In fact when I met a guy that seems nice and could be a friend for my husband as well and find out he’s married I want to know her too. I’m struggling with a very insecure neighbor who seems to think I have eyes for her man. Uh….no! I try to talk to her more as her man is quite a chatty Cathy, but she’s hell bent on thinking he and I are going to run off with each other. Even my husband thinks she’s bananas…and very insecure.

    • Markeisha Rochelle says:

      Ol, soooo, I don’t want to seem like that “insecure wife” but I need some advice on this same topic. My husband has this co-worker that works at their other office but for some reason for the past year and half she messages him or he messages her on fb messenger it was every-day but now that I have his FB PW she reach out every other day or so. He says he won’t give her his personal cell because he feels she can jist call him on work cell.
      I say it’s because I can track his personal bit not the work cell. She took the initiative and looked his number up because he wouldn’t give to her. He said she was showing him that because they had to look up a client so she wanted to show him that she knew how to do it.
      Whateva! Anyway, they will not talk on the company phone during work only messenger or sometimes the work cell when she alone at that office location. I’ve seen her messages and she used to say things like you should come put here we can hang out, or if she does a favor for him like take a payment over the phone for a client, shell say you better bring taco box you promised me. Now he has his own cc machine at his location so he doesn’t need her help like that anymore. But, Lil stuff like that. I have see he messaged her saying hey give me a call, (he says about a client) and she’ll say stuff like, maybe I will, or maybe I won’t, hahaha, stuff like that. Now, he asked me to befriend her, saying she just needed a friend, but trust she kinda short with me, but have so much to say to him. She went on vacation, and he messaged her, saying hey how u doing, just checking on you! Wtf? He don’t check on me when I have to leave for work. He said he was checking on hee becus she a single mom driving a long ways by herself and their other Co workers checked on her too. She’s in her 20s, and my husband is in his late 40s. He says she is more like a daughter to him and I shouldn’t be worried, but I say, would he talk to his 22 yr old daughter the way he talks with her?? If. Ot, then she is NOT “like a daughter” Please let me know your thoughts

  31. @ebonieezer says:

    We don't even have those types of discussions. Period. Ever.

  32. Renee says:

    I really like this post!! You are on point. I’ve also discussed with my husband on being careful with female encounters. This was maybe 2 years ago we had a random convo about women. My question is that he never brings up females ever trying to approach him at work or anything. Should I ask him if any females at his job ever try to be friends? I only hear him bring up male co-workers. He works for a big company with mostly men and some women.

  33. Anita Alexander says:

    My husband accepted my (2) very close female friends after we go married. One was single and we hung out together at work and on the weekends when he was busy. However, I quickly learned that he was calling her at 2 and 3 in the morning. He worked from that time of the morning until about noon during the day. When I questioned him about it he said they are only friends. So we are no longer friends. Now it has happened again, my friend of 30 years, he has been calling her 3 or 4 times a day. When I questioned her about it she said he was checking on her husband who is a mutual friends of ours who is in a wheelchair and home all day. When I questioned him he said he was calling her about some movies. Both of whichwre lies. I am going to kick her to the curb, but I am wondering since he is the common element in this siutation, maybe I should kick him to the curb.

  34. clemtus says:

    Am Irene from south Africa, This has so much brought me a great happiness and i have to share it.About 2Months ago i was very financial down and was even thinking of taking a loan from the bank so that i can sort out some debt and pay some bills.So fortunately for me i was surfing the internet on a blessed even and a man comment on how he got wealth through a great spell caster. i thought it was just a mere thing, again i saw another person this time this was even more convincing. I had to contact the spell caster and his email is

  35. MRS. Tournear says:

    I understand completely, my husband actually had is childhood female friend and ex-girlfriend move in with us. I have had to pretty much hold myself back on a lot of things that she does including staying up late at night trying to take over his meds schedule, reminding him of appointments and taking over my house.
    I have told him she has 3 more months before I go postal on her. She's been there at our house for 9 months already!!!!!
    Tell me that ain't a kick to the head!!!!?????

    • tessa says:

      i would have told her she has 3 days to get out. That was ridiculous. Your husband should have never put you in this position.

  36. Lucia says:

    Its nice to hear that its okay to have boundaries! I'm going through this with my husband. He developed a close friendship with a female worker. And I befriended her about a year after she started working there, on my own, because I thought it was the right thing to do. About another year later, I found out that they were both discussing each others marriage problems. We went to marriage counseling and a few days later I saw he texted her an hour after we went to counseling about our session. Thats when I saw the red flag. I had no idea. I was clueless. I got so upset. And then I find out that he would go have coffee with her after meetings.
    Before all this we talked about boundaries with her and he didn't keep that promise. He still thinks he did nothing wrong and that he just needed advice from a friend. I wrote her an email to tell her that what they are doing is wrong and pretty much to back off. And she wrote me a nasty email back giving me advice and pretty much telling me I am clueless and that maybe I should get out more. I am a stay at home mom, so she really made it sound like I need to get a life.

    He denies that she is involved and their friendship is not as close, thats what he tells me. And he has been a much better husband. But it still bothers me that he won't own up to his mistake and that he still has respect and care for her after she hurt my feelings so bad. He thinks she didn't do anything wrong. And that hurts me and I told him and all he had to say is "do you want me to lie to you?". I told him, no, but I want him to agree that she hurt my feelings and that agree that she should have kept her mouth shut. THAT would make me feel like he is on my side. But he tells me that i wrote the email first. Ha. But yet THEY are the ones who started this emotional frienship behind my back.
    Its so hard to deal with. I want to feel like I am his best friend. And I wasn't for a while and its taking time for me to gain his trust and I hate this so much.

  37. Liz says:

    My hubby has an assistant that he started texting maybe up to 100 texts a day after about a year. I wondered how he texted her at night without my knowledge but realized the times were when I was giving our son a bath or putting him to bed. He said he did that because he didn't want to upset me. Most of the texts were work related with about 40 percent personal (non sexual) comments. They told each other about their weekends or things that amused them etc. I found out about the number of texts when he went over his limit. I confronted him on it and also told her that she needed to chill out with the texts. They both (him in person, her on the phone) that it was just a "friend" type of relationship. They insisted she was very happily married. He said he started talking to her because he felt I didn't give him enough attention when our son was born. I was always so preoccupied with our son he felt left out. He called her a "good friend" And that he cared for her "as a friend". He promised he would keep things texts on a more professional level. This was last year.

    Things were fine until a few days ago. I found out that in June, he created an email account so that they could email without my knowing. (His mother sends pictures of us and our son to his "normal" email so I am able to access it). When I found out about the second email account I felt so betrayed. He explained to me that it was so that I would not get upset, not because he was trying to hide inappropriate things. There was nothing inappropriate once again in the emails. Just like the texts, it was about their days, things that amused them etc. However, I also found out that he has her birthday on his phone calendar. She is the only other person other than myself and my son that he has there. Not even his family. I told her I knew about the emails and she stated she is upset, that he gave her the email address but did not tell her it was ONLY for her. She said she did not know it was a secret email. She said she would no longer use that email and that she would use his normal email and for work stuff only. He has again promised he would cut off the personal stuff. He would give her up as a friend because my son an I were the most important to him in his life.

    Now I am waiting to see if some months from now, I will find a new email address, or who knows, maybe a "secret" phone that he is using to contact her so I wouldn't know "so I won't be upset." I no longer trust my husband regarding this girl. The thing is, I do believe her that she is just his friend. It's my husbands feelings for her I don't trust. Is he obsessed with her? I don't know.

    • Jenny says:

      Mine started texts messages from his cell phone but would clear & delete before he got home from work. I found a few numbers he forgot to delete, over weekends.
      Also, contacts through ads she places on craigslist, yes, craigslust & not the personals. Its under items for sale, etc so they can chat in private that way through craigslist reply.
      I confronted my husband about the deceipt & I feel he’s been unfaithful.
      I was being told going to start work early or have to work over, only to find he’d cover up that so called work time with vacation time (which we never were able to take vacations as result).
      This all makes me sick!
      What’s wrong with them?
      I told mine after 28 years together if he wants to be liar, cheater, unfaithful a playboy to some slut..go for it.
      Because my self-respect & dignity are more important than his cheap hops in the sack with these slutty tramps.
      If there’s a way, they will do it.

  38. Liz says:

    My hubby has an assistant that he started texting maybe up to 100 texts a day after about a year. I wondered how he texted her at night without my knowledge but realized the times were when I was giving our son a bath or putting him to bed. He said he did that because he didn't want to upset me. Most of the texts were work related with about 40 percent personal (non sexual) comments. They told each other about their weekends or things that amused them etc. I found out about the number of texts when he went over his limit. I confronted him on it and also told her that she needed to chill out with the texts. They both (him in person, her on the phone) that it was just a "friend" type of relationship. They insisted she was very happily married. He said he started talking to her because he felt I didn't give him enough attention when our son was born. I was always so preoccupied with our son he felt left out. He called her a "good friend" And that he cared for her "as a friend". He promised he would keep things texts on a more professional level. This was last year.

  39. 3yrWifey says:

    What if the other "friends" are his over-bearing sisters and mother. 1 of them is married, 1 has a long-distance marriage, his mom is married, one is divorced… they all depend on him for EVERYTHING. It is ridiculous, how can I get them ALL (including him) to understand that he already has a leading lady and it ain't the one who popped him out 31 years ago?

    • Tracy says:

      To 3yrwifey – please NIP IT in the bud ASAP. My sister is going through it bad with her hubby and his mom cuz she never put her foot down way back when and they have been married 13 years and together for like 20. Please take them all to lunch and tell them how it is. There can only be one king and queen!

  40. Mrs. Potter says:

    This post is great! I am in a disaster like situation, where my Husbands friend tell him, “she can’t be his friend aslong as we are married”. I had to let him know they are a bit to comfortable with each other for me. Him being a man ran back and told her (I think she wants him). Otherwise, I have reached out to her to go do girl stuff, but she declined. She calls me all kinds of names to my Husband, but at the end of the day I set the parameters for my marriage. And as I told him, there is no way anything is going to be cool with us aslong as she is only befriending him, and not me. I like the girl but she has over stepped her boundaries with my marriage. He doesn’t understand, its not going to be the same between them like in High School (yes I have known my Husband longer then her). She calls him complaining about how it will never be the same, like your blog says, get your own man. I am just unsatisfied with his inability to understand the problem. I made my effort but she will not be around if she doesn’t learn me. Is that wrong somebody? He told her he would stop by without me so she could see our newborn. This is a persistent problem, where do I go? Or just stick to my parameters? (Sigh)

  41. Lisa says:

    My husband and i fight about this all the time. My thought? If you want to go for a drink after work watch the game etc… call one of your guy buddies. WHY do you need women? Am i NOT enough for you?
    Having said that i admit he’s outgoing tales to everyone and he’s the one that gives out his number to friends. The problem is when he tells them he’s not interested in more than friendship But they keep putting on pressure. He should walk away but never wants to hurt feelings. Also when a single woman texts a married man late at night It’s NOT ok. Especially when she’s been told upsets the wife.
    Men and women being friends? I DON’T like it but i can live with it IF there are boundaries. And whether it be him having female friends or her having male friends those friends MUST respect the other friends family as spouse!!!!

  42. Beeeeee says:

    I personally think it's amazing how little women trust their husbands. My man has lots of platonic female friends. He hugs them in front of me and they talk and he says your amazing and I luv ya all there time. There are a few things though… Private things, things he only says to me. But otherwise I'm totally cool with it as he is cool with me having guy friends. We tease eachother all the time for instance I'll say hey babe, girlfriend # 2 text u yet today? Lol and he does the same. They don't have to know me. They are his friends. And my friends are my friends although there is lots of overlap but I think it's healthy for a guy to have an outside friendships with girls and guys. My man has both as do I. I trust my fiancé completely. He gave the ring to me. He loves me and I'm the only one for him. But if we didn't allow outside friends and family relationships and time away from eachother, well there would be a whole new set of criminal charges and bodies! Ok? Wed kill eachother after a month! I love him and I trust him. But I'm not paranoid and/or obsessed. He is the main man in my life, but my
    I've doesn't revolve around him. Haha he always says but you need me and I say hahahah. No. Listen bud. I got along fine for 26 years ( we met a year ago, I'm 27 he's 28) before you ever came along so no I don't need you. I love you and I want you but I don't need you. He acts pouty teasing me, but in reality he respects me more for it. He says he doesn't need me either but he wants me and I say brilliant! Ladies please for gods sake,Stop being so insecure! Trust your husband and more importantly trust yourself! know you can live and live quite well ,without him, even though you wouldn't ever want to. <3

  43. nancy says:

    Greetings to every body that is reading this testimony
    Me and my boyfriend were seriously in love for six years and we were planning to get married but one day he came to my house and told me he was no longer interested in our relationship simply because he was dating another rich lady who promise to buy him a car and to sponsor their wedding. And i suffer heartbreak for seven months and i was not tired of loving i take a bold step by contacting a spell caster who help me bring my ex boyfriend back. he is powerful and great his contact is you can also contact him for help

  44. elene says:

    Thank you Dr.ekpen for what you have just done in my life, for helping me get my husband who left me with two kids years ago, I thank you so much the great Dr.ekpen for Bringing back my family i am grateful and will always be if you also Need his help his email My name is Elene Jones I am from england i want to share my happiness with the general public of what Dr.ekpen has done for me of India but now in Africa has done for me in the last few weeks i was once in love this guy called Mcjohe we in love with each other until traveled out of my state for two years and we promise ourselves to be together forever, but before i return from my journey he has already find another lover , when i try to come back to him and plead for apology , He shun me and send me away , i love him so much that i can not do with out him then i told a friend about it and she advice me and recommend this man Dr.ekpen for me when i visit him at he only ask me to buy some items for sacrifices to help me get my ex back and he actually did it and it work well and today I am happy .
    just in case any one is out there with same problem or any kind , I advice he or she to contact this man today at and with what he did for me I believe he can also help you thank once again Dr.ekpen

  45. Jamara Auchter says:

    I'm so glad my fiancee isn't a social butterfly and doesn't believe in having female friends. He'd rather a woman think he's unfriendly or rude, than to give ME any little thing to be suspicious about. He does not speak to other females, and that's HIS CHOICE, so don't talk to me about "being insecure". He has a personal philosophy that most women intentionally cause little dramas so to eliminate that chance, he LITERALLY won't speak to another woman. That eliminates her EVER being able to say ANY little slick thing to me. Pretty smart, if the goal is to avoid a naggingI girlfriend. I had to ask him a few times to please at least be friendly to my best friends! Bottom line: I love that I don't have "my man has female friend" problems.

  46. stella says:

    Oh my God, I'm so glad to tell everyone the real thing that happen to me…My name is JOAN. If i refuse to share this testimony it means i am selfish to my self and to people i love so much whom might have similar problems, March 16th about something 7:23pm after taken our dinner my husband got crazy started calling a lady name Melisa I love you, i was so mad and started crying like a baby…then my husband left home then for the idiot called Melisa, and never return back home then i believed when he understand his self he will surly come back to apology, but instead he left me So i complained to my friend she told me she was having such problems in her marriage until she was introduce to DR agbadi who specializes in bringing back broken homes and broken marriages DR agbadi cast a spell for me in May 4th surprisingly my husband came home May 6th apologizing that i should forgive him that it will never happen again, i was so glad and gave the thanks to DR agbadi who save my marriage, if you are having similar problem you can contact him and His email address is ( you can still save your marriage if u really love your husband.
    Thanks joan

  47. stella says:

    i want to give thanks and i will always give thanks to DR.agbadi who brought back my love that has left me for 6years within 48hours, i have said about this last week but i promised to always tell people about this every week end so that those that did not read about it last week will read about it this week, i have been looking for how to get this boy back to my life because i love this boy with the whole of my heart, i could not replace him with any body,one day i was watching my television when i saw a lady giving thanks to DR.agbadi and telling the world how he helped her i was so shocked i could not believe it because i never taught that there are powers that can bring back lost love, then that was how i decided to contact him too because i do really need my love back,when i contacted him i told him everything and he told me not to worry that my love will surely be back to my arms within 48hours at first i could not believe because i was thinking how could somebody that has gone for 6years come back within 48 hours,so then i decided to watch and see,unbelievable within the next 48hours i got a call from unknown number so i decided to pick the call the next thing i could hear was my loves voice he was pleading and begging me on the phone that i should forgive him that i should forget all that have happened that he did not know what came over him,he promised not to leave for any reason, that he was really sorry for what he did,i was so surprised because i never believed that this could happen,so that was how i accepted his apology and the next morning he came to my house and still pleading for me to forgive him i told him that everything is okay that i have forgiven him, that was how we started again and now we are married, i promised to say this testimony in radio station, commenting this testimony is still okay but before this month runs out i promise to say this in radio station and i will,sir thank you very much.World please am begging you people to try and thank this man for me,or if you need his help here is his email or you can also reach him through his mobile number,+2347067607812

  48. Barrackloanfirm says:

    Hello everyone, Hello , my name is Mrs Waiter of Housto texas.I came to this site to share the good works of Dr.Ogbo ( prophetbaz ) . I never believed in love, money spells or magic until I meant this powerful spell caster when I went to Africa in December last year on a business trip. He is very powerful and can help you cast spells to bring back the love of one ` s been lost , bad behavior , lover looking for someone to love you , wealth Money , Winning lottery number, bringing back lost his lover, bring money lost and magic money spell for a good job , I ` m happy and alive testimony now , because the man who had wanted to marry left me 2 weeks before our wedding and my life was turned upside down because our relationship has been for years .. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and no job that pays well . So when I refer to this sorcerer, I told him what happened and he explained the situation of things to it .. At first I was hesitant , skeptical and doubtful , but I just gave it a try . And in five days time when I returned to Texas, my boyfriend (now my husband, Dr. Wallocks ) called me and apologized that everything had been settled with his mother and his family and he has a new job interview so we should get married and gave birth to twins nad I was cured of HIV .. I didn ` t think the sorcerer Because just asked me my name and my boyfriends name and all I wanted to do it did for me … We are happily married and are now expecting our little boy , and my husband also got the new job and life became much better and we became very rich. In case any caster needs some help , email him at this email address : ( ) …… I hope that helps . Hurry now and contact him via email as :( ) .. Thank you very much and I am so happy right now .. Mrs Waiter.

  49. vake says:

    thank you Dr. Simon for bringing back my ex husband that left me and my kids for good 2 years.i don't have much to say i just wanna say a big thank keep on your good work you can also email him at

  50. lisa johnson says:

    my name is LISA JOHNSON am hear to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got married for more than 9 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted DR KPELEDE for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he apologizes on phone and said that he did not know what happen to him. it was the spell that DR KPELEDE casted on him that make him comeback to me today,me and my family are now happy again. thank you DR KPELEDE for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for HIS great spell. i want all my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact {} and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay.This are the few things he also do for people. *HE BRING BACK LOST LOVERS IN 24hrs. *REMOTE CONTROL OVER LOVERS. *ALL TYPES OF SPELL CASTING & VOODOO WORKER. * IS YOUR HEALER TAKING LONG TO SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS? THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO BE HELPED QUICKLY. *GET RIDE OF ANY WITCHCRAFT, BAD LUCK & CURSES. * EXPERT IN DISTANCE HEALING *COURT CASES EVEN IF ONE IS CONVICTED[IF THERE'S A CHANCE OF APPEALING] *IS SOME BODY JEALOUS WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP? *UNFINISHED JOBS BY OTHER DOCTORS-IF NOT SATISFIED-COME TO HIM. *ARE YOU BEING FORCED INTO A DIVORCE? *HE PREVENT BAD LUCK AND JEALOUSY. *TO WIN HORSES AND GAMBLING *HE CAN STOP SOME ONE INTERFERING WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP. * DO YOU WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN OF YOUR CHOICE *DO YOU WANT QUICK MARRIAGE PROPOSAL? *HE CAN CLEAN PEOPLE HOUSES,BUSINESSES AND PROPERTIES FROM BAD LUCK. *DO YOU NEED EXCESSIVE UAL POWER AND STRONG ERECTIONS. You can get in touch with him through ( or +2347038111854

  51. maria says:

    Last week prophetkalito the great spell caster brought my husband home to me suddenly after being divorced for a few years. He had married the other woman but it fell apart and he came back to me after 2days of prophetkalito spell to bring him back and it really work. He came to faith in prophetkalito during this time, even when I tried to give up, prophetkalito always brought me back. I love prophetkalito , who makes all things new .i give him all praise he also specialize in all kind of spell like,
    (1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) You want women/men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) You want to be rich.
    (7) You want to tie your husband/wife
    to be yours forever.
    (8) If you need financial assistance.
    (9) Herbal care
    (10) If you can be able to satisfy your wife
    sex desire due to low reaction.
    (11) if your menstruation refuse to come out the
    day it suppose or over flows.
    (12) if your work refuse to pay your, people owing you?.
    (13) solve a land issue and get it back.
    (14) Did your family Denny you of your right?
    (15) Let people obey my words and do my which.
    (16) Do you have a low sperm count?

    contact prophetkalito via email:

  52. maria says:

    Last week prophetkalito the great spell caster brought my husband home to me suddenly after being divorced for a few years. He had married the other woman but it fell apart and he came back to me after 2days of prophetkalito spell to bring him back and it really work. He came to faith in prophetkalito during this time, even when I tried to give up, prophetkalito always brought me back. I love prophetkalito , who makes all things new .i give him all praise he also specialize in all kind of spell like,

  53. justine says:

    ih there
    I found this page by accident….what it’s very interesting….im having the same problem! ! some lady that started chatting to husband…first it was about church gossip….then about random things….then I started noticing the chatting became later…..then! at 00:00…I left it….I though ok maybe its just chatting….well this ladys starts off by saying….hi can you chat now….I mean come….on….what does that mean….hello wife here….so she totally know about me but disregards me here??… she now suddenly she having problems…..gues who she talking to….yes my husband!…so again he up at 00:00…and even takes he phone into the bathroom with him!!…you can imagen my face and rage by now….I spoke him about it…I told how I felt about this….”this friend” that I’ve never met before….talks to him untill 00:00 at night….is that right??….I told him its wrong…and that this has really hurt me….anyways…so far so good…its seems like it not happening anymore…I honestly believe there was no bad chatting going on between….I honstley believe that she was having problems……but still talking to a lady I haven’t met untill late at night…..if theres any lady he should up with late at night its me… be watching to see if this starts up again….I mean what kind of women chats to another womans husband! !?? late at night……anyways I would appreciate some input on this.

  54. Maris Williams says:

    Great thanks to Priest Korofo who help me bring back my ex boyfriend…

    My name is Maris, am from London i was in love with a guy called Jermaine will both love each other very much, to cut the story short something happen and he left me for another woman, i love him so much that i always want to be with him, he left me just because i refuse to come to his house when he asked me to come, i beg him to come back but he refuse i tried all my possible best to get him but the more i try is the more i lose him, so i have know choice than to contact a spell caster this was really bad almost all the spell casters scam me and collected my money this was very serious so i contacted one again and i said to my self how long will i continue to be losing money that i don't even have, but when i contacted this email address called i told him everything about my boyfriend and how i lost my money he felt pity he was ready to help me he told me that my boyfriend will come back to me and he will be with me forever so i did not trust him when he was telling me, all i thought was that he want to also scam me and collect my money but i just give him a try and it was my last bus stop, i do all the necessary thing he told me to do after then i ask when is he coming back he said i should just relays and wait so i do but i was very panicky in 24 hours time he called me on phone and was begging me to let her come back i accepted her immediately because i love him so much, what would i have done if not for this man, he have prove that not all the spell caster are scam and Haox, he is a real man, so that is how i got my ex boyfriend back.
    Am telling you all out their if there is anybody who can help you is no other person than Priest Korofo his email address is ( or you can simply go through his website on he have help so many people i have benefit from it myself and this is the time you will also benefit from him know matter what the problem is and if you are contacting him, tell him your problems and he we be ready to help you.

    Thank you so much Priest Korofo.

  55. Claire says:

    My husband is a westerner and has been working in Asia for two years, i have just recently joined him…because of many reasons….wanted to see if he would like the job and if he would get a long term contract before i quit my job to join him….and more…..
    We would see eachother three times a year…..and would communicate through skype.
    We had a party inviting all his coworkers….suposedly to show his wife and his family off…but throughout the whole party…all we would hear….is him calling his secretaries name all night…..come….see this…taste that….are you ok…joking around with her…etc….he totally forgot about me all night…..i tried to go talk to her and she completely avoided me….even the kids noticed this!!!
    Another situation….a general store close to his place….he would go to often…the women working there knew he was married but alone…so they would offer companionship services…..he told me and the kids about this…laughing it off….but he would call them his friends??? To me those are not friends!!!
    One day his secretary was showing us where to go for a massage be ause i had had neck and back problems….so the three of us are walking on the sidewalk…..he leaves me behind and walks in front of me his wife and walks along her side….the both of them completely forgetting about me….
    He also has a female agent…..i already had some doubts before i got here about this woman….or about him towards this woman….but when i got here…i realised that she even calls him on weekends….this has stopped after she realised i was now at home with him….but what i saw on his skype is that they would talk to eachother late at night and on weekends…about personal stuff….personal comversations….flirting….and she would call him as often as he would call her… from what i can see is that she only calls him on workong hours….

    My husband keeps telling there is nothing going on….and that he loves me….and that he wants to end his days with me….

    So i know i am an insecure woman at times and jealous at times…like when he ogles at all these women even when he is with me….
    I realise that it is normal for men to look around….but i also think it is disrespectful to do this while with…it's hurtful for me….

    I just don't want to be that wife that is left behind but kept just because of responsability….
    If he wants more he should leave me and not keep me….

    Should i trust my gut feeling….which is he is crossing professional boundaries and that he is not being completely honest with me?

    Or am i just a paranoid, jealous, insecure woman….making a big deal?

    • Vanessa says:

      Hello Claire, Any wife would fill the same way you do.Your husband might not of meant anything
      about his actions during the party ,but I understand you felt neglected .That can hurt ,when it seems like your husband is paying more attention to another woman instead of you. And for his secretary to avoid talking to you ,that is rude and very disrespectful. I'm sure the kids felt bad for you. Any women offering companionship services to someones husband, well I don't need to go there. At least he was honest and told you about it .Just be up front with him and tell him how much you love him,and how bad and hurtful it makes you fill when he does those things.Its nothing wrong with having female friends, but when you are married the female friends need to give respect to the wife, or I fill as though you are not a friend.The female friend should make friends with the wife as well.Keep in mind you don't want to say anything hurtful. And always pray to God. And let God lead you and show you the way.I hope everything turns out great! And I wish you and your family much love and happiness always.

    • Hope says:

      Stay strong! Husband needs to bring back all the love and emotions he taken from you and your kids and invested it in others, all his actions and affections are rightfully yours and your kids! Do not conform to his ways as this is very manipulative. I've gone through and still dealing with husbands self justifying and complete selfiness. If he loves you he will see the big picture. I encourage you to stay strong and focus on truth of the word as that is where halting begins. :)

  56. My heart is crushed says:

    My problem is and has been my step-son's girlfriends and /or wife calling to talk with my husband about their finances, health, problems with the step-son, etc. They don't talk with me and usually they call when they know I am at work. he calls them little girl and says love you before they hang up. This week end his daughter was having a get together (just happened to be my husband's birthday) and he told me I could not go because he would have to leave to take me home early to go to work (not true) the current girlfriend was there, although he had said she would not be. This same one spent her time with my husband when we went to the beach together 2 years ago. She also "offered" to ride with him alone on the 12hour trip. She is about 40 years old, divorced, and broke up the step-son and his first wife. I am furious, but mostly deeply hurt that he does not believe me and denies these women are flirting and throwing it in my face because he defends them. My step-daughter was very rude and asked when our family became trash because I said this, about the woman. Husband has not talked with me for 3 days. Any comments are welcome since husband says I am paranoid. I have no one to confide in.

  57. narol denison says:

    Narol Denison

    i am Mrs. Narol Denison from new York. i want to use this medium to congratulate Dr Jatton for the great help of spell he has render to my relationship outbreak. since the past 6 years i was in a relationship problem with my ex, he always get me beating, i never knew he has another girl outside the town, her name is Michel, until i got this great spell caster email address from the internet, so i email him and i laid all my complain to him, he promise me that i am to keep off away from him, and i really agreed on it, but on a condition that my lost ex will be back,,,, he really put some few items which he uses to consulting his great oracle, his plan for my relationship was fulfill and my lost ex was back again within 48hrs… please if you are in such mess today please contact him at
    m Mrs Narol Denison

  58. Crystal says:

    My husband reaches out to other women for friendship.He invited them to our home last year.They have been friends for years,I just don't like that he finds their company more interesting than mine.
    I know it is my insecurities,but I still feel betrayed.How can I deal with this?Should I find a guy friend of my own?

  59. Michele says:

    There is a female coworker that has been leaving her department for the past two weeks, just to make small talk. I spotted this girl a mile away and warned my hubby, he said I don't know here she works up front I don't need to talk to her. A moth later while I am leaving his work she is getting called up from his department (he is the only one in that department) and told by a supervisor to stay in her own. Come to find out she been in his department making small talk the last few weeks. I told him how I felt prior to this, his excuse for not telling me is he thought it was ok, due to him not being interested in her. I said then why didn't you avoid her, tell her your busy…His response I don't know, but I didn't see it as a problem for us.

  60. Ann says:

    Last Wednesday my husband picked up his single coworker that for some reason I never heard her name before and took just her to dinner – just sprung it on me. Said the others couldn’t make it. Sort of half a$$ed ask me to go (I was on my way home from work) he said her 5 yr old was going – he didn’t. He asked me if I wanted something I texted him 6 times no reply. 3 hours later no dinner as “they didn’t have what I wanted” and they are just friends. I have been sick and emotionally hurt since. Any advice?

  61. Nyisha says:

    My husband has a female best-friend/ex-co-worker. He knew her before me but it was around the time we were just in our first year of dating that she moved to his neighborhood and they started working on building their friendship (his words). They would see each other about 3x a week. She would invite him to the beach,dancing, shopping or to her house for dinner and call him late at night. All when her fiance wasn't around who my husband new as well. She even offered to give him a manicure. One night my husband made the mistake of telling me she said she knew if she let him he would sleep with her. What kind of a friend says that? That's when I decided to call her. I found out she didn't even know my name (yet hers was a constant ring in my ear) just that he had a girl. I explained to her and her fiance that she was being inappropriate and had cross the line. She said she had no idea I had a problem with her and should talk to my man about it because if her Fiance had a problem with her hanging out with my man she would do something about it. Now I have a male best friend myself and if his girlfriend ever called me saying she had a problem with me I would do everything in my power to make them feel comfortable. I would not want to risk being un invited to their wedding or their baby shower or cut out of their lives (we've been best friends since the 9th grade. I'm 37 now). Anyway her statement sounded like something a home wrecker would say, not a true best friend. So fast forward eight years later she's moved far away and married now and so are we. He constantly text her updates on events in our lives. Last night He reminded her she was his true blue friend and that's why he would never give up on her. That statement hurt. he knows I hate her and yet he doesn't care. He even invited her to our wedding! She didn't come though made up some excuse. I feel disrespected and I know I deserve better and so does he. He needs someone in his live he would go to bat for and clearly it isn't me. I'm I being childish? Because at this point I just want a divorce.

  62. Jill says:

    I went to my husband’s office and noticed that his female secretary had “borrowed” an office decoration that I gave to my husband and it was up in her own office. He also picks up coffee for her when he is getting food for himself. I got mad at him of course, and he got mad at me right back. Am I overreacting?

  63. kate says:

    Thank You Lord. My husband had returned for a month after i came in contact with Prophet James but then left us again. We were devastated and could not understand why the Lord would bring him home just to leave again. Two weeks after he left he returned back a totally different man. I now understand God was still working on him and me. We pray together every night along with reading the Bible. Please don’t ever give up prophet James is always here to solve eevrything . I was about to do just that the week before he returned. Please remember to only listen to the voice of Prophet James I had many friends that week strongly telling me to give up and move on. Thankfully that Prophet James gave me strength to continue praying and standing. Thank You Lord for continuing to help our marriage. Always remember to put the Lord first and trust Him.because Prophet James is a man to trust he his a man sent by God and you can contact him on

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  66. mel says:

    While I've actually experienced both sides of this {being the wife and being the single woman being preyed upon by married co-workers} I have to say that we need to put the cog back in the wheel, which the cog is the HUSBAND. Now I'm not saying there aren't women who prey upon married guys, of course there are, and they are unrelenting if they find a "victim" who is an easy target. Most married men still desire to be that hero, and they don't care who's eyes they are the "hero" in , their wife, their coworker, their boss, its all about a fragile male ego who doesn't care who they hurt in the process, as long as their ego is fed. And that's the bottom line to all this, its feeding that damn fragile male ego having his wife stressed about another female who may be trying to take his attention away from family. The male ego loves to be stroked, and acting as if he has no clue that these women want his help, attention, and whatever else he's willing to give up, is complete crap! He knows how to turn away a woman. A man who is approached by someone who weighs 300#s or isn't physically desirable, he will have NO problem turning them down, or walking away. My husband was the proverbial "savior" of all womankind. If someone looked lost, or their car was broke down, or just a neighbor who wanted to talk, would approach him, he'd spend his entire afternoon trying to be a hero, then would spend just the same amount of time making sure I heard every lurid detail of his ability to save these poor creatures. Of course, I'd be seething because he just wasted 8 hours of his day doing stuff that did nothing to help us as a couple or a family. When a man is distracted by others, he neglects his obligations as a husband, a father, and your partner. My husband was doing these things because his need for the ego feed was stronger than his obligation to be the man of our house. I spent many years fixing this within his personality, and finally now he gets it! While I still have to remind him when he starts in with his inapprop. interactions, he will stop and remove himself from the situation now with no debate or argument.! Make your man responsible for his behavior and how it affects you and your family!! After all, he is the cog in that wheel!

  67. donna says:

    my husband is a minister and admitted he knows a chick at our church likes him and she is always in his face about something and he knows it bothers me and so does he I even asked her to stay out his face and she wont and he told me to say something to her since it bothers me so much and I will again I explained to him that she is disrespecting me as his wife and that she wont stop until he says something only been married a year and every argument has been about this woman!!!!!!! help!!!!!!!

  68. Annie says:

    Omg lady! The entire time I was reading your article I was all “YES YES YES!!!!” I am so tired of all my husband’s new female “friends”. I’m not blaming all on those girls cause my husband is a SUPER friendly guy (his job requires him to talk to guests all times) so I get it that girls can misunderstand, but these new girls who adds my hudband as a friend on facebook, acting super weird (not even saying hi or introducing themselves to me when I come in or see them outside of his worl when they obviously know I’m the wifey) I think it’s just so weird.. And my husband thinks I’m overreacting.. ALL my male friends, I have two male friends whom I think as my brothers, always asks me how my husband is and they are dying to meet my husband and get to know him! (One lives across the sea, another lives in different side of the states). This is such a small issue, yet bugging me lots quite often!

  69. Bex says:

    I just wished women would respect one another and stay the f away from taken men. It will be them one day dealing with another woman who wont stop at her man. Women need to stick together and have respect for each others relationships and know when its time to back off. When I was single, i met many men who once I found out they were married, I said nope, I don't do other women's men. Its that easy.

    • Fiona says:

      I absolutely agree what you said, we all have to stand together, most husbands think all women can’t live with out them, that’s why they play up and then come back home to say sorry and all wife forgive them easily. That’s why they don’t afraid to play with the fire

  70. Tasia says:

    I need advice! My husband and I moved to a new state about a year ago and he started a job immediately. He became friends with this girl who is married herself. They go on lunch sometimes and even text message every now and then. She has invited us over to her house with our two kids so we can all meet. Here’s my question, will this turn into a work romance and cause problems at home or can everyone be friends?

  71. olderand wiser says:

    To Raylene. Explode! Put your foot down now, and hard! No he should not be siding with her. You are his wife, you are his priority, he owes you loyalty and he should be putting you first every time. She is a selfish, manipulative user. Tell him you will not be treated with disrespect. Tell him to shape up or ship out – no argument. She is no friend of yours – tell her that you have got her number and tell her to leave your husband alone. As for him – make him see how he is seriously jeopardising your relationship by his behaviour which is not acceptable and you are not going to stand for it a moment longer.

  72. danielle says:

    Hi, I hope you will still see this comment. My husband has a girl colleague at work, they don't text all the time, but one time she texted him when she was at a pub saying "Come here! I am so drunk, help me!" I found it not appropriate texting someone's husband like that, but she said she was just kidding and that she treats every male friend the same, married or not, and that she won't change how she treats my husband because she thinks there's nothing wrong with that. I am sure my husband doesn't text her that way or call her, but, should I be worried?

    • Vanessa says:

      Hello Danielle, friend or not, no other woman has NO RIGHT to text any woman's husband for any reason
      unless to say Happy Birthday ,Merry Christmas or Happy New Year. Its okay for your husband to have female friends.But they need to respect your marriage. That was very disrespectful what she said in the text She is very lucky. There are some very angry, and violent wives out there.You are taking it very well.And if you are not sure about what to do ,put it in Gods hands and pray about it.Hope you and your husband's marriage last forever.

  73. Danielle says:

    I'm having problems with a persistent female friend of my boyfriend – will tell the tale in multiple comments. They worked together for 10 years – he is 38 she is 30 and unfortunately, is a petite pretty blonde. They both had other halves for most of their working relationship but rumours swirled around the office that she had a "bit of a thing" for him. When he met me she was still with her boyfriend, then they split so she was single while me and him were still together. We go to joint pub events for leaving do's for his work, and I quickly noticed that she seemed to avoid being anywhere near me and never chatted to me, yet she'd buzz around him like a bee on honey, until I appeared next to him then she'd drift off again. He never formally introduced us. After the third pub event of her ignoring me and prancing round him like a preening idiot, I spoke to him about it. "How come she never talks to me" I said. He said something about how he thinks "she doesn't get on too well with other women".

    We have a super relationship and after nearly 3 years we have yet to have a serious argument. I'd marry him tomorrow if he'd ask, I knew after two weeks he was something different. He says over and over that she's just a friend, he's known her for ten years, and she's a "really nice girl". He told me himself about the work rumours regarding her crush and seemed to find it amusing. However I decided to sneak a look at her texts to him just to see if she was trying to be flirty. Their chit chat was platonic and a lot of it work related, though she did ask him out for a beer one night and he went along, then texted to say thanks (this was when she was single). He has never told me about this beer.

    She's been single for a year now with one new man that didn't work out, and she's now met another man who is newly separated and also older than her. Last year I was *so* pleased when my OH quit his job and moved to work 3 hours away. I would stay put and he'd commute on weekends to see me. At his leaving do she buzzed around him and ignored me – AGAIN. I mentioned it to him again.

    He then texted her to ask if he could ring her and have a chat, and he had asked her to chat to me next time we are all out together and "put me at ease" so he'd told her that I'd commented how she doesn't talk to me. He avoided asking her if she had any sort of problem with me. She was all "oh sure it'll be good to get to know her!!" and the next time we all hung out together we both got a bit drunk and had quite a good evening, I certainly felt that the ice had been broken. She had told me herself about how she finds it hard to "get on with other women" and at one point she drunkenly said in my ear that she'd known my OH for 10 years and wanted him to be happy and that she knew I made him happy". Then she also made a weird drunk comment about "one of the things she hates is that I'm so skinny", which sort of went over my head a bit as by then I was a tad tiddly too.

  74. Danielle says:

    Him being a nice guy, went along and gave her a text run-down of what it was like. She replied all "ohhh that sounds lovely, are you sure you won’t be persuaded?" Again he said no but this time he said that "I don't think [my name] would like me living with a girl" – of course SHE knows that he meant “I don't like him living with HER”.

    I'm sure she asked him to go and look at the cottage in the hopes that he'd like the look of it and change his mind. He then told her about a mutual colleague of theirs who is working at the same place as her, and how he's been let down with a flat and needs to find another. Did she jump on that and say "oh I could maybe share with him"? Did she hell, she pretty much ignored it apart from saying "oh dear how stressful for him". Because of course, she doesn't want to live with him she wants to live with MY boyfriend.

    I'm so angry with her for being utterly disrespectful towards me and the fact I am his girlfriend. Me and her are not close friends, it's not like I know and trust her and would be OK with them cohabiting. The past two times I've seen her she had known she'd got this new job but she didn't tell me – even though on Facebook I'd been asking her how the job hunting had been going. Plus I can see in her eyes what she really thinks about me, and she can probably see it in my eyes by now. You just can't hide what's behind your eyes. So as a result, unless we are both drunk, we cannot hold a decent conversation.

    My OH in the meantime, is totally oblivious to the undercurrents of her scheming. Before telling her no he couldn't live with her he said "tempted, but no etc etc". Why say he was TEMPTED? Stop throwing her bones!!! He should have said "I don't think it's appropriate really, considering [my name] lives far away and so does [her boyfriend]. What the hell will he think about her shacking up with another guy at the start of their relationship??

    His contract is for another 2 -3 years so for that time I now have to fight with the knowledge that they are up there together, living and working a few miles apart. She had emailed him about her leaving do and I don’t know what date it is (I can’t see his emails) but he texted to say we’d had something in the diary for a long time and so can’t make it. She’d said “OK no worries, no doubt we’ll be catching up in the week soon anyway”. The thought of her asking him for drinks or “Oh I’ll come round we can cook and watch a DVD!” every bloody week is making me want to scream the place down. She will see more of him that I will, and I only get him on weekends 

    I’m visiting him down there next weekend so I wonder if that’s when her party is – in which case yep – we can’t make it. OR he knows how I feel about her working near him and thinks taking me to her leaving do where I have to be nice and happy about her new job, will be a disaster in the making so he’s said no regardless of whether we are busy or not.

    I can’t believe she thought it OK to ask him to live with her. To see her first thing in the morning making breakfast in PJs, or with her hair in a towel just out of the shower, or sharing wine and food each night . F**K OFF. SO inappropriate. I hope she bothers him to see him every night to the point he’ll start ignoring her.

    I have many male friends I’ve known for 10-15 years and I always make sure that I get to know their girlfriends and sit and chat with them and make sure they know I’m not ANY form of threat. And if I had to work near one of them and his girlfriend lived miles away, I would NEVER dream of asking to cohabit, despite a 10+ year friendship! I may ask to crash on the sofa for a few nights while I found a place but I’d make damn sure I spoke to the GF and asked if this was OK. She has done nothing like this with me.

    I believe him when he says he’s not into her and she’s “not his type” and he’s so loving and affectionate with me it’s wonderful. I told myself that in the ten years of knowing eachother, if it was going to happen it would have happened by now.

  75. Danielle says:

    He’s just a genuinely nice (and blind to her ways) guy who is always on hand to help people but I do think that he’s not being firm enough in establishing some boundaries with her and her “needs”. She never asks about me in any of her texts, he never chats to her about me – it’s as if he believes she’s holding a bit of a torch and either a) gets off on it or b) is trying to maintain a friendship without encouraging anything.

    Next week I’m going to casually ask when she starts work and then ask if she’d asked him to lift share or flat share, so we’ll see if he fesses up. If he does I will ask him if he recognises how inappropriate and disrespectful that is, and make sure he recognises this. If he doesn’t say anything I will assume that he’s doing it because he knows I’d be pissed, or he doesn’t feel the need to tell me because he’s said no so “it doesn’t matter”.

    I almost want her to hit on him – to just do it – because I’m pretty sure he’ll jump like a scalded cat, push her off and say he doesn’t look at her like that. He’ll then back right off the friendship and she’ll have lost out. If he doesn’t get firmer with their boundaries I’m sure she’ll still think she’s in with a chance. And if he DID respond (99% sure he’d not), well me and him just weren’t meant to be, but I’ll not be responsible for what I do to the pair of them when I get hold of them.

    • Lisa says:

      Why do most women blame other women and not “their man”. Ate you that insecure? Seriously, it takes two to tango and it sounds like hes enjoying it because hes not breaking away. Meanwhile, youre falling to pieces over this. Take care of you because you cant control others, not even “your man”.

  76. Danielle says:

    There is a chunk of my story missing, I think it's been moderated so hopefully it'll appear soon…..

  77. GurlPower says:

    This is one of those topics that never gets old! I had this conversation when my husband and I were dating (20 years ago). As our relationship became a one serious and it became obvious we were headed down the aisle, I made it clear, he could have me, or female friends; not both! I know Mary J got a lot of flack for saying her husband could not have female friends, but I am in total agreement with her! I told my husband the EXACT same thing. I didn't place a gun to his head either. He had (and still has) the option of having female friends if he wants them, but he can't have them and me! For some women (and men), their spouse or significant other having friends of the opposite sex might be ok, but not me! There are times when I am willing to compromise, be it dinner, or which family we spend holidays with. However, this issue is non-negotiable! I'm his wife, and I don't care what some female he's known or not known before me thinks! As my husband, my expectation is that he concern himself with my feelings!

    I've heard all of the reasons why I should not take this position; "you should trust your husband", "he's known her all his life (my personal fave)", and on and on and on. Those excuses don't move me at all! Even if he's known her a long time, her position has changed from friend to associate. No, you cannot call him to chat, to get advice, borrow money, go to lunch, catch-up, NOTHING! If you run into each other or see each other out and about, say hello, nice to see you, and keep it moving! There is no need to rehash a friendship you can't have anyway!

    Here are my thoughts: (let me get biblical first):

    The scripture says that when men marry, they are to leave their parents and cleave to their wife. If the scripture tells us this about our parents, what makes you think a friend is held to a different standard? Also, Christ was tempted; what makes you think you won't be?

    Now on to my common sense stance:

    Marriage problems are inevitable. It's just a part of life. The last thing a struggling marriage needs is a "friend" of the opposite sex complicating things. That "friend" could look like green grass when you are going through with your spouse (there's that temptation I was referring to earlier). Let's also be realistic. Whether we admit it or not, there are women out there, claiming they only want "friendship" who see married men and they scheme to get them. They see the house, car, family, money, and they want it! Heck, sometimes the material things are not even the motive. They see what appears to look good for another woman, and they do what they can to get it. Are men who go along with this blameless? Absolutely NOT! In my opinion, the men are more to blame because they are the ones who took the vows. Nonetheless, the relationship has been damaged at this point. The flip side of this, married men who for whatever reason act inappropriately. Women are not always the ones who pursue. Some married men step out of line as well. My solution for all of this, eliminate the female friend option. That's one less obstacle we have to face in our marriage.

    This is the approach that works for us. Ultimately, couples have to do what works best for them. My advice is to be honest with yourself and your spouse or significant other about what you want; sooner rather than later. For those who don't want to let go of friends of the opposite sex, ask yourself; why is it so important to hold on to them? If they continue to create a problem, what are you saying by insisting that they remain so relevant? If you are considered the "friend", ask yourself the same question. What is your motive for refusing to let go of this "friend", especially if the "friendship" is causing problems for your "friend's" relationship!

    • Fiona says:

      I like your common, standing strong for women. I having similar situation at the moment and got terrible head ache.

  78. Zeva says:

    My husband hAs a female employee who has certainly been a valuable asset to his company. I heard from another acquaintance that she told her she was his “work wife”. This just really unsettled me. She was calling a lot evenings and weekend. Texting etc. even after a girls nite out. Seriously she has a husbsnd about 23 years her senior. She is emotionally dependent on my man. He’s a great boss and he treats his people well. He finally gets it too but I don’t think he sees the entire picture. He’s even told Her to stop

    It’s annoying. But again shed be here if we needed help. Men don’t de that emotional becomes more because men are emotionally driven. Hang in there girls

  79. Sandy G says:

    I need some assistance. In regards to my husband having female friends who are coworkers. Is there a chance I can message you privately? In hopes you can shed some light in this dark place that I’m in?

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  81. Alexandra says:

    Snooze, talk about control, it’s WaG’s that seem to be the reason I don’t have any male friends left anymore and no I don’t want to jump your ball-clamped man, personally I find most women too bitchy to waste my time with, blokes are far more cooler to hang out with but no, the ‘missus’ has final bloody say on this, cheers ball clampers! Controlling relationships are certainly not healthy, probably the reason chaps actually cheat in the first place, so nope, nope and nope have to disagree with what you’ve written, I was hoping to find inspiration and advice, but seem to have tripped up into a snake pit instead.

  82. Feeling frustrated says:

    I realize this blog post is a couple years old but I found it this morning and had to comment. I completely agree with everything you said.

    My husband has a woman at work who I feel is acting inappropriately. My gut and woman’s intuition tells me this based on her interactions with my husband. I trust him, I don’t trust her. The problem is he defends her. He says she’s not interested and she’s nice and e enjoys talking to her. He made the mistake of venting to her about me and telling her that I hated her and thought something was going on. I’m pissed because this is exactly what this woman wants. I understand how things are in the workplace. I had a career for 15 years. I was friendly with men but never to the point this woman is taking it with my husband. I know what it’s like to be single and married at work. These women know they are crossing the line – they are just waiting and hoping the married men will cross the line as well. It makes me sick that my husband spends the whole day with this woman.

    • Lisa says:

      I moticed how all your blame is towards her. It takes two to tango. If hes protecting her hes just as much at fault. Open your eyes and dont just see from one perspective. If ypure gut is telling you something is not right, its probably true, and in that case, something must be askew in your marriage. People don’t cheat when they are happy in a relationship. Sorry but its true.

      • Sonia says:

        Lisa, of course she knows that! She’s not an idiot! This is part of the ‘realizing your husband is an A-hole, and that your marriage needs a tune-up’ phase. Be gentle on us, we are the ones truly suffering since we aren’t turning to other MEN for comfort!! Ugh! I am sure venting felt good to her. Too bad she didn’t realize there were Alligators in the water! Lol!!

    • Belinda says:

      I ran across your reply kinda of searching to see if other women felt the same way as I do because I am too frustrated.I think the first problem is that he vented about you to her. To me that is a cardinal rule that you do not vent about your spouse to a member of the opposite sex. My husband and I have that rule and since he got a job where all his co-workers are all women, I have become distrustful that he has fully honored that rule all the time. I know he has let it slip that he and another female co-worker joked about their spouses to one another and I jumped all over him for doing that because it was disrespectful to me and went against our long standing rule. Like you I do not understand why there is a need to be so friendly with the female coworkers and vent or rant to them about things. My husband tells me he needs to to discuss work issues or other problems he is having at work and thinks that is okay. To me it gets to personal and for years I was the one he bounced things off of and now I get reports of how he bounced and resolved issues with the other women in his life. Has it made me a little bonkers, you bet so because when I walk into his work or attend functions there is open hostility or avoidance from any of the women. There are a couple who will say hi, but they are very stand offish to me and yet I hear about all the wonderful things they do with my husband when they are at work. So the mixed messages and behavior really gnaws at me. I build it up and explode and he gets mad and we fight and for the last month all we seem to be arguing about is his relationships with his co-workers. He tells me that he has to have relationships with them, that they are dysfunctional and that he has to put in his time so that he can get promoted and leave this particular department and move up away from them. He tells me that he avoids those who he has seen be too pursuing but then I hear about the meetings, and other things that do involve them and I again get distrustful. I feel that he appeases me at home and then appeases them during the work day so that no one is mad at him. One time he actually tried to put up professional boundaries and everybody acted so hostile that he felt he had to go out and buy pizza for all of them. He told me he had to get the pizza so they would all settle down. The thing was that he also bought me pizza to my job. I felt basically that I was put in the same level as his female coworkers and was hurt. He thought that he was doing a good thing because it eased the tension at work. But I do not think he actually realized that it is because there are no boundaries at his work that they do feel that he is their work husband and I think he enjoys the attention that he gets when they are all oogling and ahhing over everything he does. I then feel like I need to be on my best behavior and not say anything negative to him at all and oogle and ahh over him too so he doesn't seek them more than me. Am I going crazy or is it really possible for men and women to have healthy relationship and it not interfere with their marriages. Because these friendships surely are interfering with mine.

  83. kathleen says:

    Hello. My husband of almost 7 years, cheated on me and left me for her and is living with her now. He said he hasn’t been happy in years but never told/showed me he was unhappy. We have a 4 year old son that missed his daddy so much and cries for him to just come home. Our son even crawled all over his car crying “daddy stay home with me.” And he still left. He just keeps saying “he’s never coming back, no matter what.” I didn’t know what to anymore..he left me 5/7/15, the weekend before mothers day this year and it broke my heart and I keep praying to God and he keeps telling me “be patient” I was still trying my best but it was hard when this was hurting my son so badly. I have told my sister about this and she gave me some advice to contact a very good and powerful prophet who can help me pray for my husband to come back and be happy with us again which i did and i contacted the prophet. he prayed for me and my husband cam home begging me to take him back and now we are happily living together and a family. all thanks to the prophet and his email is ( May God bless you abundantly!

  84. Margurite says:

    The bottom line, you will interact with opposite sex members all day long. Yes men and women have people they talk to and even have phone numbers too. There is a point where texting for work related purposes is one thing, having happy hour with co-workers, hanging out with groups of friends is one thing. When you have another woman even if they were friends before not respect the boundary of your relationship that is a problem too, especially when your husband doesn't share oh, I spoke with so and so and listen to this or that.

    When your husband does not see you as the priority, doesn't get that having a texting relationship or phone call conversation relationship is disrespectful it is not a good thing. Men having female friends can never work if you do not make your wife feel special or vice versa. Meeting new friends after your are married and having them reach out and text and have him respond in a flash is downright rude.

    Call me old fashion but taking vows to make the other person your priority is necessary, and having your husband understand that if something makes you uncomfortable then he should take any steps to correct the situation.

    • Jenny says:

      Let her go hire a handyman. If he can’t fix things & stay home, then why does he need to go elsewhere to another?
      Right… He don’t!
      Intuition ladies, feel it, that gut wrenching can tell you! The change in his attention to you, how he acts & talks around you. Half truths are still lies, so are hiding the truth, deceit.
      Wife outta sight outta it is cheating in my book when a man vents his frustrations to any other women but you and is being intimate with her. THAT IS INTAMACY YOU GUYS. INTIMACY IS BEING CLOSE WITH SOMEONE
      Many many factors evolve & are not good!
      My father use to say, as single, divorced women get older they have essess baggage from past & looking for sugar daddy to “keep” them. So they come on as flirting, then relationship moves on till hits bedroom (which happens fast when it’s stuck in your mans face).
      Stay away from these parisitic women.
      They only want what you already have & to take from you!!!
      All of it.
      Home wreckers!
      I’m going through this now with my husband & woman at his work!

  85. I totally agree with this post. I do not get down with new female friends trying to be all friendly with my guy. That is not the business.

  86. funkyfresh200 says:

    I am glad you brought this topic up. My spouse has a female friend that he confides in and he even tells her "I love you" and she tells him add well. It really upsets me. They've known each other for a long time and were friends before we met. However, it only started bothering me the last few years, because she used to be my friend too. But now she only talks to him and never calls or texts me at all. Years ago, she stopped returning my calls, and we grew apart. This behaviour made me suspicious. He tells me all the time that they are just close because she is one of his oldest friends. But I think she is unhappy is her own relationship and is using my man as an emotional boost for her ego. She died things that I think are inappropriate and flirty. My husband acts clueless. I don't know what to do, he thinks I'm just being crazy.

    • Jenny says:

      They (husbands) all play stupid & clueless & say things to calm you down, to pacify you, so you will get off his back about her.
      Ditch her out of both your lives.
      Excessive baggage release!
      What’s the point of having a clingy parasite in your life in 1 sided friendship?
      Go with your gut intuition its 99.9% a wife knows !

  87. amita says:

    Hi, i want some help! my husband talks to his school mate and a women is not friendly with me …..avoids me …….blocks me on chats ….my husband still talk to her…….on group chats . husband says he is not attached with any one but i feel jealous of her when she chats…… i burn and loose my cool…….1 month am suffering dont know how to come out of it.

    • Lisa says:

      The reality is youre not going to stop someone from having an affair. The most you could do is ask him to be honest about if your gut tells you theres somthing more that chatting going on. Meanwhile, do things for yourelf. Meet new people, take on a new hobby. He”ll respect you a lot more when your not worrying yourself to death over “what ifs”.

  88. Knowbetter says:

    Women, I have had enough of this. I have been single, married, attached and divorced. My industry is male-dominant and let me tell you, you are all blind and deaf. Men have their own agenda. I’ve watched, listened and have been victimized by your husbands over and over again. Usually they are in a position where they can get away with it. JUST KNOW THAT THEY ENCOURAGE AND PROTECT EACH OTHER FROM GETTING CAUGHT. Women who don’t oblige them like me are victimized by this and become scapegoats.
    When I was married, I learned my husband was doing the same thing so I divorced him. I’ve left my boyfriends for the same reasons.
    I could expose hundreds of husbands right now, even without the AM database. Since 90% of them do pursue other women, it’s better to be skeptical than naive. Instead of calling each and every one of you who are doing everything right in your marriage, I’d advise to check him out. I mean REALLY check him out. They get more confident and thus more sloppy the older they get and the more times they get away with it. Even a surprise visit to his place of work, lunch or after work stop might blow your mind. Instead of trying to fend off your husband for another 6 months (or watch him do it to others who might not be able to) I’m going to write a book that will tell you how it works IRL. I only ask that after you read it, don’t let him get away with it anymore. DIVORCE HIM.

  89. camille says:

    i found this article interesting. my fiance has a friend before we met and she never made no effort to now me.travelling withus one day she and him had a major tell off. as we journeyed i tried to pacify the situation by responding to her request for clarity on the journey. She was less than warm. in getting out the vehicle she refused to answer his question. And as for me she never acknowledged me or said bye. there is more to this story. But suffice it to say i just want break off our engagement.

  90. Sheyl says:

    I love the post … question I have is, although I trust my husband 100% and I know he looks at other women because it's natural, hey I look at other men … as long as neither touch not a problem. My issue at the moment is that the local pub we go into there is a young girl of 20 yrs who will talk to both of us when she sees us but with me it's just small talk … she seems to go into a deeper discussion with my husband about other things such as what she wants to do for a career and she's now gone up a size in clothes and that she wants to lose weight etc. with me it's hi you okay how things going then that's it. ….. my gut instinct is saying not to trust her because she comes across as sly. I overheard her a few weeks ago calling me in the toilets to her friend … just so she knew I'd heard her … I actually told her what I thought about her comments in a really nice way. ie at some point things happen to us all and your time will be soon. ;) I'm 43 and my husband is 52 and I know he wouldn't play away. … If he did he knows what the outcome would be … I'd be leaving with our daughter and he would lose everything. Including the house as it's rented so he wouldn't be able to afford the rent anymore along with the rest of the bills. … My point is … trust your husband …. yeah set the rules out at the beginning and just drop a few nice subtle hints to any girl in question indicating you know the game she's playing and you're on to her. You don't have to go in like a bull in a china shop or be abrupt … be constructive and put it in an intelligent way to the other person. Ie It's lovely to see you again and I'm flattered you still want to be friends with my husband and that you're happy about him marrying me. ………. Less said quickly mended. The point is spoken in the word marrying(hands off he's mine) and you're confirming that you're glad(like it and lump it lady he's spoken for) she's happy about it. I hope this makes sense? Oh and the 20 year old … he doesn't know it yet I'm not naïve I've just blocked her from his fb page whilst he was out working. Well fb does this when they do updates every so often some of your friends drop off ;)

  91. Lisa says:

    I think there is way to much jealousy here. Its like a high school locker gathering. If youre that insecure and cant trust your men, theres aomething wrong to begin with and if hes going to cheat he will find a way. Nothing in life is guaranteed. So relax and enjoy life. If i was a man married to a whinny woman who has nothing better to do than monitor my social lfe, i would cheat just to escape now and then.

  92. Lisa says:

    I trust my husband completely. If he cheats that would end. I respect myself too much to be a constant snag in his life. He a grown man and knows right from wrong. If and when the day comes that either if us feels the need to cheat, our marriage will end. Caclimg women who worry and plot about whether or not “your man” is cheating waste so much time that you cant enjoy your relationship for however long it may last. And thats sad.

  93. Wife says:

    My husband and I own a business together. He is there full-time and I only come in to do the accounting every week or so. His main assistant is constantly telling him about all of her problems. She tells me her issues from time to time, but she constantly shares her problems with most of our male staff. Some of them shelter her like a victim or a lost puppy. She consistently forgets to tell my husband I called and I feel like he knows more about her problems than mine. When I say something to him – I’m the crazy jealous wife. I’m sick of this. I just don’t know how to get through?

  94. Anita says:

    Hello everyone, I’m willing to help anyone involved in relationship trust issues because I just saved myself one after I saw all his phone activities, I’m not encouraging you to do this but it was what helped me so I hope it helps you find out what you want to know,here’s the site I visited visit that site and I’m sure he knows what to do

  95. MrsVal says:

    The husband, and me been married for 5 years, and in those years I had followed a conversation he would have with his female friend that he knew from high school. I was fine with that until I found out her true intentions with my husband. She had sent a Christmas card that stated I quote: " I hope that this year is amazing and brings you the happiness that you deserve. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year" she also added a heart next to her name along with finishing off the card at the end "miss and love you!!!"
    You see this woman called my husband even more when she found out he got married never in the 5 years did she try to meet me or tried to get to talk to me at all she would call him at any given time of the day with her personal life, financial life, and would have conversations with my husband as if he was her man. Never once did she ask about me or of me never did she showed any interest in getting to know his wife whom he chose to devote his life, love, and affection. She showed no signs of a sincere, honest friendship as she would tell him.
    Fast forward to 2015 Christmas that is when I found by accident this Christmas letter she wrote him. Let me add to you that she knew my husband, and me where having marriage issues as well due to her deceiving friendship that I was suspicious of. This letter she knew that she sent was getting sent not to our home address but to his parents house address she knew I was not going to find out but life works in very mystirous ways, and Karma serve her a plate of shit when I found it I confronted him he confronted her, and she claimed that it was not her intention that she wanted to talk to me to clear things out. Well guess what I called her, and tried to understand her, and her true intention out of the whole conversation we had all she wanted to do was argue with me, and did not apologize or clarified her self or her actions what so ever God is my witness all she wanted to do is scream at me over the phone, and I had my sister as a witness there too but I end up hanging up because I'm his wife I have no explaining to do I have no mistake in this situation but my husband found out from her actions what her true intentions where. He deleted her number, blocked her, and didn't even respond to her last txt message to him which was "Sorry buddy" "she is really mad at me" "I didn't mean to put you in this position" which I think is BS on her part RIGHT!? I also hold responsible my husband for this BS a husband should always give his wife her place she is the Queen of the thrown who holds down everything when her King is gone she is his everything lover, friend, family etc. she should never feel that she can be replaced by another woman in any way shape or form that is why you get married you chose to commit to one person for the rest of your life through any means necessary no matter what happens in life she owns her place, and she earned it. I speak of wives who are devoted to their marriage and value the meaning of marriage.

  96. Cecilia says:

    Thank you for this post, I totally agree. The problem I am having sometimes is that my boyfriend who I have lived with for 1 year keeps on coming up with "work groups" and projects that he does with only lady friends…some of which I totally do not like because I have sensed they are literally after him.
    Whenever I have brought it up I end up being the crazy bitch. One time when I asked him to take me along, he got really nervous and I did go, but could notice the female friends uncomfortable.
    Common ladies !!! Just like you said, it's ridiculous they do not realize he is TAKEN.
    But more ridiculous and sad that HE does not see that. HOW can I make him see so that he doesn't get all psycho on me, that those situations are just no respectful, and he keeps hanging out with these ladies for attention….Thanks! Desperate.

    • T says:

      I’ve spent the last 2 hours trying to get my husband to see that the former coworker he’s “friends” with is trying to inch her way into more than friends. he talks to her on an almost daily basis and they send little cutesie text messages back and forth and he literally avoids me letting see or talk to or even hear him talk to her saying they will only ever talk or text on the phone because they don’t work together anymore and that’s it he’s not into her she’s not his type yada yada yada I told him that was BS he told me I was overreacting and being a crazy bitch and that’s how I always am which is why he doesn’t want us in the same room together “getting to know each other” he had no idea that by him declining her offer of “getting to know” me and the kids (the family) he is just inviting her in further. And making himself look damn suspicious! He refuses to see that he has set no boundaries and is crossing a line (many) and insists that there’s nothing between them that she’s just a friend, I am overreacting and I’m crazy. If he gives up her then what’s next thing he’ll have to
      Lose because of his crazy wife? (Are you effing kidding me?!) After 2 hours of me not quite yelling but speaking very loudly, and literally dumping his drawers and pulling all of his clothes out of the closet and throwing everything on the floor, he told me fine I’ll cut her out of my life but how do I believe that and what about the next one? How do I know he’s not just telling me this cuz it’s almost 2AM and he wants to go to bed?!

  97. Yolandi says:

    I am in this situation right now. My husband has this friend at work and he also has a hostory of getting too friendly, never in a sexual way but in the way where he compliments other women and he is their shoulder to cry on and so forth (and flirting too) it has never gone any further. Every time I tell him that a certain situation makes me extremely uncomfortable and he then cuts ties with them completely. Now the one female friend at his work sent him a text message saying that (he wasn’t at work that day, he was on site) she signed for the package he was waiting for and he should send her an invoice for his semen. No jokes. I asked him what the actual f@ck and he was shocked and said that even he thought it was inappropriate. But it really bothers me so bad. He is going to talk to her and tell her that what she did was wrong and also that I saw the message. I feel sick. I also don’t even know if I am overreacting to this. But it doesn’t feel like this girl has good intentions

  98. arius17 says:

    Fantastic post. . I see I'm not alone . I have been married for 3 years and have been dealing with this disrespect from my husband's female friends. Lines are being crossed by there women the constant texting and the phone calls. My husband is aware that I have an issue with it but has done nothing to put a stop to it.

  99. Tawnda says:

    I am in this boat right now. This woman my husband worked with (he was laid off 3 weeks ago) literally called his phone 3 times daily for 2 days. When he was with me he declined the call but then tonight he told me he was going out to smoke and would be back. Almost 2 hours later after looking for him for 40 min, I find him outside talking to “her”! I am upset I am hurt I’ve talked to him about setting boundaries before and he blows me off like I’m overreacting! He makes no effort to say he’s setting boundaries or cutting her off since their not coworker anymore just tells me I’m still here I’ve been here this long. I can’t take this I’m so mad at him I just want to throw his crap out of my house!

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  106. Sher hancock says:

    My husband has a upung single lady that text him and calls him rather frequent. I let it slide but kept an eye on it because honestly we are woman and we think different than men. When a woman is single and a man is there when we text and share then we start having feelings for them. I’m not saying saying men are dumb but they are somewhat don’t even have a clue. I finally brought it up to him when she text him to see her He text ok and she tells him where. With the situation I understand but she needs to find a single man to give her help and advise so no attachment happens. As I brought this up to my husband he said its nothing , got mad left the room. But declared he wasn’t mad. Thing is I don’t touch other men or have male friends it is just something you shouldn’t do if you are married. Period. Safety issue. We are human and we do have desires. I tell my husband she is single and you don’t have a clue what she really thinks about you Don’t push your luck.

  107. maya says:

    Great post! I have two longtime male friends (platonic since Day 1 – I think of them as my brothers), knew them long before they met their wives, and have respected the shift of who comes first in their lives (I'm married too). The downside is that we have gone from regular correspondence to periodic, but they keep me informed about what's happening in their worlds and ask about mine, so that's all good (we live in different cities now). The thing that saddens me is that neither one of the wives has ever wanted to get to know me better (even though I have tried many times). I think we could be friends if they gave me a chance.

  108. caroline says:

    I just wanted to thank the spell caster i ment online for the great help and efforts with my situation with Chris. As you know, he broke up with me a few weeks ago and I found i find this spell caster email on a blog and asked for about the people he has helped before . I had him cast a Return My Ex-Boyfriend Magick Love Spell on our behalf and I have to tell you that I am very pleased with the final outcome! I’m happy to say, we are back together again after a few short weeks apart! I was so miserable without him in my life. You have made me so happy! I am ordering a Binding Love Spell right now to make sure we don’t split up again! All Thanks to Lord. Azeez his email is lordazeez1990@hotmail. com he can solve your problem!

  109. kasandra w says:

    I get a help from Lord. Azeez to, first it was me but now is my cousin, She recently break up with his girlfriend after 4year of relationship, She was so hurt and i gave her Lord. Azeez email, And trust me lord azeez never fails in his work in just 4day she came begging for a second chance. I believe so much in Lord. Azeez, and his good work in helping people get their spouse back on track.

  110. Smitty says:

    Would like to know if I'm being to overreacting about my husband for over 20 years bring home a picture of him and a female co worker and show the to the whole family,and he acts like it's OK.

  111. vaaly says:

    My fiance also has female friends, actually one that keeps on popping up. We have too many arguments about her, his ex wife also had a problem with her, she was always in the picture.
    I checked his phone recorder and she was the one whom he would confide in, telling her all about our relationship, but through the conversations you can determine how he was trying to get to see her, fortunately she always has a boy friend (always someone new) but yes, someone. He was ones very upset because she did not tell him about the boyfriend (we had a break-up at that time).
    His profession is i.a. locksmithing and she always has a problem with doors etc. The one night he read her text to me and his reply nl that she is moving away but he must please attend to problems at her house (if any) and asked him, by the way, is he married yet. He replied no still single! Really why?
    I know he receives texts from somewhere but cannot catch him out on whom with, but I am sick and tired of this.

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  113. Jennifer W. says:

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  114. worried mum says:

    My daughter's husband has a pattern of always having a female best friend in his life. He married my daughter less than one year ago and has recently been spending an inappropriate amount of time with a female friend he works with. They lunch every day and he goes out with her after work for drinks every Friday night often not returning home until 3am. When my daughter told him she was feeling excluded and wanted him to consider her feelings he became angry and said she had no right to tell him who he could be friends with. The friend texts him all the time and asks him advice on what she should wear out etc. I fear he is emotionally abusing my daughter and often turns their arguments into several hours of blaming her for everything under the sun. He is your typical abuser in that he is also very nice and it is confusing to my daughter as she loves him very much and does not want to leave him but at the same time she knows her future with him will always be difficult and perhaps even unhealthy for her. I am very careful not to give him any opportunity to isolate her from me which means I have to support her without suggesting she leave him. I fear for her future and on the one hand even though their wedding day was full of love and happiness I suspect her future with him will be full of pain and emotional abuse.

  115. Janet says:

    The one thing I always love is how you have become known to someone as something because they are trying to get something from you that they want, so, being told I am an insecure person because I do not feel comfortable with the wife, of my husbands friend and currently a widow almost two years now, calling my husband because her husband and mine were friends. I said to her, that's it, it was your husband and my husband who were friends. I'm sorry, I am not comfortable with my Husband being a vehicle as an emotional tool to satisfy someone else's needs, or for his emotions to come into play to satisfy his and their familiarities, Sometimes I think people just like to stay with what's familiar. They find it very hard to move on… We were suppose to build a house out of state 2 years ago, he has changed the architectural plans several times, and we are still waiting.

  116. Elizabeth says:

    I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or not.
    We’ve been married now for 9 months. I’m going to try to not make this long.
    I recently got a new job but I had formerly worked at the same building as my husband does. I went with him to happy hour witty some of his co workers. That’s when I met her. She avoided eye contact with me and gave me a strange vibe. He introduced us and at this point I did not know they sat beside eachother in assigned workspace. After that day when I would run into her at work she once again continued to avoid eye contact or make conversation. I now had a reason not to like her from then because it came across rude. Anywho, I had told my husband I did not like her. One day I left my charger at my current job ,at another office, and he brings home a charger he had borrowed from her. I understand he was trying to be thoughtful, but I felt it was a bad call on his part to ask her for her charger besides anyone else. I communicated to him my discomfort and he apologized….so time goes on and I made the mistake of looking through his phone the day before Valentine’s Day. I found he had her phone number and her on snapchat. Her story, or public snapchat she had at that moment was one of her singing in her car into the camera licking her finger. At this point the kind of girl she is becomes obvious to me and I lose more respect and confidence in her being a lady. I let my husband know how I feel unconsidered because he still had her number when it was made clear how I did not like her. He gets upset and deletes her number and her off of snapchat. They are co workers who still must sit by each other so everyday I’m uncomfortable and annoyed. I do have baggage from the past of a former fiancé cheating on me with his coworker, so I try not to ignore any gut feelings or excuse things like I had in the past out of denial or blindness. My husband is not the man who hurt me in my past and I believe him to be loyal. The worrying and discomfort just bothers me to think about everyday them maybe bonding. I’m not sure how to feel but it didn’t help to find out that he had gotten her number “innocently” as he puts it, the one time I didn’t join him and his co workers for happy hour. If I had been there his actions would’ve been different and that’s what concerns me.

  117. Elizabeth says:

    I always, as all of you never had any call not to trust my husband. Until after Breast Cancer. She took over my life threw me out. And decided everything about all of our lives. Apparently. Never get help on this I cannot move through this pain. The lengths these two went through to get me out. After 21 Years of love. Now I have nothing. She took it all. They really manipulated every law. Not a lawyer or a soul who could or would listen or care. So????

  118. Jessica says:


  119. Hi. Just ran across this page. My husband of 11years has been accusing me of infidelity on two separate occasions for 6years. He is convinced that I’m lying and that physical activities happened. HONESTLY IT DIDN’T! As of last month he introduced his “Other Wife”, to our children! We are legally married still but he lives with her. Am I crazy for still wanting my marriage, him, my family? I’ve loved him for so long that I don’t know how not too. Can someone please respond with some sort of help? Any and all will be appreciated.

  120. Jenny says:

    My husband was flirting with another woman. i was jealous and it made us argue all the time until he vanished away, I was desperate to get him back, I wasted so much time and money trying to get my Husband back, I tried almost all possibilities to have him back and nothing worked. I became lonely for 2 years. To make it short, I found a spell caster Dr Mack. i saw the good testimonies about his wonderful work and after reading the Testimonials, I decided I had to try and give it one last shot. After the spells, a miracle happened, my husband came home. it was awesome, anyone who needs help, should email dr.mac@yahoo. com He is the best. whoever need help should contact Dr.Mack . :) :) :) :) :)

  121. monica moore says:

    Heart filled with joy shearing this to this forum. I was so wrecked that my company fired me simply because i did not obliged to their terms, so they hacked into my system and phone and makes it so difficult to get any other job, i did all i could but things kept getting worse by the day that i couldn’t afford my 3 kids fees and pay my bills. I owe so many people trying to borrow money to survive because my old company couldn’t allow me get another job and they did all they could to destroy my life just for declining to be among their evil deeds. haven’t given up i kept searching for job online when i came across the testimony of a lady called Judith regarding how she got the blank ATM card. Due to my present state, i had to get in touch with Hacker called Bernard Lucas. email: and he told me the procedures and along with the terms which i agreed to abide and i was told that the Blank card will be deliver to me without any further delay and i hold on to his words and to my greatest surprise, i received an ATM card worth $5000 Daily withdraw for 12 months.i immediately confirmed it, it is 100% real and work. All Thanks to Bernard Lucas, if you are facing any financial problem contact him asap. Email:

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  128. Hope says:

    Opposite sex friends….. Hhhhmmmm, No Way!!!!!! I've been married 30 years, husband made friends with a married woman and wanted me to meet her. Wanted the 3 of us to hang out, yeah right ! H would be angry with me not inviting her to go with us out to dinner,movies and shopping. The whole so called friendship had more involvement , taking me a while to see the subtle gestures and manipulative talk from both h and osf. Trust me listen to your gut and do not ignore that something just isn't right feeling….my husband blamed me for insecurities , and continues to this day to defend her. There are manipulative and destructive woman, married or not that this is measly a game to them. When men or woman take what belongs to thier spouse and invests it into another friend or family, destruction happens.

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