I’ve blogged in the past about my total willingness to accept that my husband has a “work wife” in his life. I know her. I trust her. And, she has proven time and time again to have both his back and OUR back! (That’s three thumbs-up in my book.) That said, there are a few other women he has encountered through his work life that I’d much rather not hear about ever again. I won’t go into too many details (I’m aware many of his co-workers, both past and present, could possibly be reading this, and he doesn’t need the drama!) but I’m going to sum it up with a few thoughts that will get you to where I’m headed with this, and then you can tell me what you think…
If You Want to Be His “Friend”, You Should Want to Know Me Too!
I cannot tell you how many times my husband has come home talking about a new female co-worker buddy he chats with on the job who used this phrase: “Oh Please, I know you’re married. I just want to be your friend!” Then, they always follow up this bull with the same telltale mistakes. They are as follows: They never ask about me, or us; just him. They’re conveniently nowhere to be found when I’m around the job or suddenly “shy” when he’s with me at the office holiday party. Get real, lady! You don’t want to be his friend; you want more. I showed my husband how to spot the signs long ago, and we still laugh together at these so called “buddies” and how quickly they fade away when they realize he’s happy at home and staying there.
If You Have A Man of Your Own, Don’t Rely On Mine!
I’m 100-percent not cool with a female “friend” of my husband’s calling on him in their time of need. Money problems? Kids wrecking your nerves? Need “to talk”? I don’t care! That’s not his job, nor is it the role he should be playing in your life. He has already been cast as the main man I depend on in my life. Get a new script, and get real lady!
Now, my husband is usually on board with these typical tricks of the trade, but every now and then we find ourselves “discussing” how he should or shouldn’t “let down” a female co-worker nicely – and if you ask me, we spend way too much time hashing it out. For me, it’s simple: I’m okay with you having a few female friends that aren’t me, but there are rules that must be followed. 1. If she was your friend long before you’d ever even laid eyes on me, I won’t dispute that bond. 2. Don’t call her a “friend” if she hasn’t earned that title; and trust me, earning it takes way more than just providing good conversation on your lunch break or offering to get you coffee. And, 3. You just don’t need many female friends in your life if you have a best friend like me, so you better pick wisely, buddy! Okay? Okay…now no more talk about these women, please!
Oh, and one other thing: I should note that in my adult lifetime, I’ve had a total of six really close, totally-like-my-brother-100-percent-platonic type guy friends — four of which I met and knew B.H. (Before Hubby). At the present time, I only have three left, two of which are as gay as they come, and the last up and moved all the way across the country to Los Angeles and says he’s never coming back because he loves it there. In short: I do meet nice guys, quite often, and we keep it friendly in passing. But, I don’t personally make it a habit to put any real effort into increasing the number of male “buddies” in my life. I just don’t see the point. My husband is my best friend and the others have enough awesomeness to go around. The majority of the straight men I interact with on a daily basis outside of the office “belong” to a close friend of mine (wink!) and we’re on a double date, or they’re family. Case closed!
Ladies, can you feel me on this one? What are your thoughts on the “other women” in his life? Any gripes? What are your “rules” and expectations? Think I’m crazy? Whatever…let’s discuss!