Even when you love someone you can sometimes say the wrong things when you’re trying to do the right thing. It happens. Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words can also hurt you – especially when you’re married. I believe this is because you’re so invested in the success of your marriage that you often take things more personally than you might in most other similar situations. It makes sense, right? Hearing certain words or phrases can set off a chain reaction of emotions you may not be ready for – we know, we’ve been there a few times and we’re taking notes.
Our words are so powerful. So much so, that for Man and I, we realize that we need to take a few of them off the table, at least for now, so we can avoid hurting each other unknowingly as we work through the issues that arise in our marriage. Read this list of newly banned words and phrases and our reasons and you might understand why.
In moments of frustration we’ve both used this one in a sentence and the other has been hurt by it and kept quiet. We don’t want to associate failure with anything we’re doing together. We may not succeed every time, but we’re not failing as long as we’re trying. It’s that simple. So, the word goes.
We’ve always embraced and cherished the commitment and love between us. We love hard, and we always have. Since the day he first called me his girlfriend, my husband and I have gone with the flow of our love and lived a no-regrets type of lifestyle. Only, we never discussed the use of the word “regret”. If we commit to our actions, good or bad, for now at least, we don’t need to use it. It goes against our beliefs about love and the way we’ve always chosen to love each other.
Sounds like a no-brainer, I know. But, you may have used it to refer to your spouse’s actions, thoughts, or decisions once or twice before without even realizing you’d let it slip. I know we have. This one hurts like a bullet, but you barely even heard the shot. It’s best left out of things. Don’t you think?
Forcing actions and emotions in a marriage is the perfect way to start a war – and when you do, no one wins. Love can’t be forced and neither can the duties of matrimony. If someone needs “forcing,” they’re just not ready to do whatever it us you’re asking of them. We refuse to force our progress because we want it to be genuine; and we want it to stick. You know?
Are there certain words and phrases you avoid or have banned from conversations within your marriage? Add to my list or weigh in below.