I’m a pretty easygoing woman. No, actually, there’s no need to be modest here. I’m one of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet, promise. I don’t make a fuss out of much, I’m as kind to others as I’d want them to be to me, and I try to be there for all the people I love. It takes a lot to ruffle my feathers, but I can tell you that if you do insist on boiling my blood, taking a shot at my marriage is a quick way to get there.
The other day I made a run to Dunkin Donuts for coffee for my husband and I. We were in the middle of talking money and planning for the year when I left, so when I walked in to find a long line of patrons in front of me, I decided to call him up continue our conversation. I wasn’t speaking loudly, but the woman behind me heard much of my conversation, and listened closely.
Man and I were talking about who should save what in 2012 and how we were going to divide and conquer. We’ve recently decided that I would be fully in charge of managing our long term savings and he would focus on how we handle our credit card debt. Like most eavesdroppers do, the woman behind me only overheard part of the discussion and jumped to her own conclusions. She heard me telling my husband that I’d setup an automatic transfer from his account to my own on each payday and not much else. I hung up to place my order and when I was done she said the following to me:
Nosy Woman In Line: If you try to control a man’s money he’ll walk out on you one day. Men can’t have all the power go to a woman. It’s like a blow to their manhood.
Me: Excuse me?
Nosy Woman In Line: I’m just saying that I know it’s not my place, but I overheard, and I’ve been there, so I just thought I’d warn you.
Me: Yes, it’s not your business, and you don’t know jack about my marriage.
Nosy Woman In Line: I know that what I just heard ain’t good for one.
Me: I know that you’ve got five seconds to find someone else’s marriage to butt into before I forget my manners and send hot coffee hurling your way.
Nosy Woman In Line: You don’t have to be rude.
Me: Really? You are being rude. In fact, you’re so out of line it’s not even funny.
Nosy Woman: Forget it.
Me: Already forgotten.
Now, is it just me, or did this stranger seriously step out and over that invisible line between her business and my own? I know that what you say in public, is, well… public, so I can only be so upset about what she heard. I think I’m more offended by what she said. I take three issues with her comments: 1. How can anyone assume that by hearing 5 seconds of a person’s conversation that they know enough to give out unsolicited relationship advice to a stranger? 2. What decade is she living in? Men can’t share power? Women should “be warned”? Please lady. Welcome to the future. Did you have a nice ride in your time machine? 3. It saddens me that women still think of dealing with relationship problems in terms of what to do to ensure a man doesn’t “walk out on her.” Shouldn’t the goal be to focus on how to make your bond stronger and the worry be about whether or not you’re doing your best to battle the storm? If you marry a man, I’d like to believe you don’t fear he’ll walk out on your over every decision you make that threatens his manhood. If that’s the case, why marry him, I say.
Venting session complete. Thoughts on this one?