Marriage and learning always go hand-in-hand. The lessons don’t stop at marriage they only become more valuable. In a marriage you will grow and explore together continuously and you’ll find that some lessons are much harder than others. You recognize that finding things out the easy way – like through communication and teamwork – is preferred, but you realize that learning things the hard way is still okay because it just makes you stronger.
Marriage really is the coolest, most awesome and exciting roller coaster you ever got on, only there’s just no getting off the ride. As you roll with the thrills and chills that come with it there are two things that count the most: Being together, and being prepared for the next dip.
My husband and I are asked for our advice on how to “make it work” quite often. (We’re flattered, really!) We don’t claim to be experts at this whole marriage thing just yet – it’s still new to us – but we have been together for eight beautiful years and throughout them all, we’ve worked at perfecting our communication and strengthening our teamwork. Because of that, I feel confident sharing our successes and failures with others through this blog, and most importantly sharing what we learn along the way.
Whether this list will serve as a reminder, or be a cautionary tale, all I ask is that you read it and give some thought to what’s on it. Look out for these 5 potential threats to your marriage – at all times!
My grandma would always say, “not all friends are good ones.” It’s truer that any of us like to believe. They may love you, but sometimes a friend who’s secretly envious of your situation may be giving you bad advice, or planting seeds of distrust that can sprout later.
When you marry someone you marry their family too. If you’re lucky, you’ll love ‘em and this one doesn’t belong on your list, but if you’re not, well, let’s just say things can be a bit intense at times. Your family isn’t supposed to make you choose between them and your spouse, but let’s face it, sometimes they will.
If only all women were as trustworthy as the man you married. Not all women will flirt with a married man, but you’re fooling yourself if you think their type isn’t out there. She could work with him. She could serve him his coffee. She might even see him on the train every day. What matters is that she’s there and she’ll be the first to tell your husband that “she just wants to be his friends”.
Even if you still see stars every time you look at your husband, as your bank account balance decreases, so will your marital bliss. Being broke stresses you out and stress puts a strain on your marriage. Working together to learn smart spending habits, manage credit, and stack your rainy day savings with cash is critical to the longevity of your marriage. It won’t always be easy – or even feel possible – but you can’t let your finances slip.
Work Life Balance
This is one of those things about life and marriage that is always complicated. You need your job to pay your bills and provide for your family. Seeing your family happy makes you happy, but being good at what you do requires most of your time, so you never see your spouse or kids. Finding the balance is a never-ending challenge, but I will warn you that sometimes a career can destroy a marriage. Your job is worth a lot, but it’s not worth that. My job sometimes (okay, a lot of the time) keeps me from spending any quality time with Man, but you better believe that I’m 100 percent devoted to carving out any and all the time I can – if he’s not happy, I’m not happy; and that’s a problem. If your career has zero work-life-balance and family is most important to you, find a new one now – before the damage cannot be undone.
What “threats” would you add to this list? Let’s build it together, ladies.