Sadly, if I had a dollar for every time I heard a woman badmouthing a seemingly decent man to her friends or co-workers, I’d be able to buy that vacation I’m seriously in need of. We’ve all heard them. It’s not pretty. “He’s such a loser!”…”I can’t believe he could be such an idiot.”….”If he doesn’t get it together I’m getting a divorce.” I could go on and on.
Now, granted, being in love doesn’t mean your life will always be like a great love scene in some movie. Sometimes you will want to punch each other, scream at one another – or maybe even contemplate leaving altogether. I get it, it happens. That said, shouldn’t he be the first to know you feel that way? Your friends shouldn’t get the news before he does. Blabbing about your relationship trouble to everyone who will listen instead of the person you’re having the issue with is a classic mistake so many women make. Unless you’re sitting across from a counselor, I don’t see how that’s going to help you in the long run.
I say it all the time, and I can’t say it enough: Communication is key ladies. Even when man doesn’t want to hear what I have to say, I tell him. Better him than all my friends and family members. He may not like what I’m saying, but I know he appreciates hearing it first and straight from the horse’s mouth.
Not coming to him first can present a lot of problems down the line that you won’t want to deal with. For one thing, family and close friends won’t forgive as easily as you do. They hold grudges – big time. That day you hated his guts and decided to go tell it on a mountain will pass, but the people you told will carry their judgments and personal opinions long after you two have made up.
I’ll stop here before I cross that thin line between venting and preaching. But, seriously, think about it. Are you talking to others about your problems more than you’re talking to him? If so, work on that if you can. It will strengthen the communication between you, which is never a bad thing.
Thanks for listening!