Your Man Can’t Hear You If You Talk Behind His Back

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Sadly, if I had a dollar for every time I heard a woman badmouthing a seemingly decent man to her friends or co-workers, I’d be able to buy that vacation I’m seriously in need of. We’ve all heard them. It’s not pretty. “He’s such a loser!”…”I can’t believe he could be such an idiot.”….”If he doesn’t get it together I’m getting a divorce.” I could go on and on.

Now, granted, being in love doesn’t mean your life will always be like a great love scene in some movie. Sometimes you will want to punch each other, scream at one another – or maybe even contemplate leaving altogether. I get it, it happens. That said, shouldn’t he be the first to know you feel that way? Your friends shouldn’t get the news before he does. Blabbing about your relationship trouble to everyone who will listen instead of the person you’re having the issue with is a classic mistake so many women make. Unless you’re sitting across from a counselor, I don’t see how that’s going to help you in the long run.

I say it all the time, and I can’t say it enough: Communication is key ladies. Even when man doesn’t want to hear what I have to say, I tell him. Better him than all my friends and family members. He may not like what I’m saying, but I know he appreciates hearing it first and straight from the horse’s mouth.

Not coming to him first can present a lot of problems down the line that you won’t want to deal with. For one thing, family and close friends won’t forgive as easily as you do. They hold grudges – big time. That day you hated his guts and decided to go tell it on a mountain will pass, but the people you told will carry their judgments and personal opinions long after you two have made up.

I’ll stop here before I cross that thin line between venting and preaching. But, seriously, think about it. Are you talking to others about your problems more than you’re talking to him? If so, work on that if you can. It will strengthen the communication between you, which is never a bad thing.

Thanks for listening!

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12 Responses to Your Man Can’t Hear You If You Talk Behind His Back

  1. We had that problem, and we're still sort of handling it. I would go to Twitter to vent. Not necessarily telling our business, but definitely not keeping the image of we're happy everyday. Like you said, others don't forgive as easily. Keep it to yourself!
    My recent post Marriage Monday: Divorce is Too Easy

  2. Mimi says:

    GURL..you betta preach! I hate to hear women bad mouth their husbands. It just seems so disrespectful to share his flaws with people who don't know him. I always ask what would they say if their man were out blabbing about them to strangers.

    Another reason it perturbs me is it may discourage women who are not married and are impressionable. If their man isn't handling his business that doesn't mean that every man is the same way. Yet a woman who has never been married or doesn't understand the dynamic may find herself falling into the "there is no good men" syndrome. I just figure a lot of time these men that are getting bad mouthed are only doing what they are allowed to do. Like you said, if you have a problem with it, take it to him and work it out together.

    Let me stop before I start preaching!!
    My recent post I’m Getting a Facial..

  3. AMEN!! Don't talk about your husband or boyfriend to others just to bad mouth them. First of all there are women (and so called friends) taking notes, and you know what ,they might just use that info against you in many ways. The things you don't like, they might just like. Be careful!!

    Preach on girlfriend! ;)
    My recent post Getting to know your mate all over again

  4. Thank, Q says:

    Of course, as a man, i totally agree! There's no way I'd say anything bad about The Mrs. Even if she got on my last nerve, the last thing I'm going to do is talk about her to someone else. If the person you marry can't be placed and kept on a pedestal at all times, then why did you even walk down the aisle in the first place?
    My recent post History 101

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  6. AMEN!! Don't talk about your husband or boyfriend to others just to bad mouth them. First of all there are women (and so called friends) taking notes, and you know what ,they might just use that info against you in many ways. The things you don't like, they might just like. Be careful!!

    Preach on girlfriend!
    My recent post

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