Just Asking: Did Premarital Counseling Work for You?

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When we got engaged a lot of people recommended that we speak to a counselor or reverend before we tied the knot. We weren’t necessarily against it but we just never got around to making an appointment. Neither of us felt unprepared at the altar so I can’t see how we missed out, but I’m open to hearing whether or not you felt it helped you. Did you “talk to someone” before you got married? What did you talk about? Did it help you feel more prepared in some way? If you didn’t do so, was there a reason? Enlighten me ladies!

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14 Responses to Just Asking: Did Premarital Counseling Work for You?

  1. Alonda Smoot says:

    Yes we did get counseling before marriage. The things that were asked was how many children did we want. Who would do the cooking. How or who would handle the finances. Also when we did have children, what kind of discipline method would we use. Keeping your friends and family out of your business. Being faithful to each other. Our expectations of each other. Things of that nature. We went over just about everything and it helped a lot. I learned how to compromise. That it’s not all about me anymore.

  2. Cassie Ladd says:

    We did the premarital counseling bit. Our counselor was really bad though. He didn't want to be a counselor – he told us he didn't. But even with a bad counselor, I'd definitely recommend it. If nothing else you're given topics for discussion that not everyone thinks to talk about. Anything that can get you talking in a non-confrontational way is definitely a plus.
    My recent post Comment on I’m not your mother by Mai Sicheneder

  3. nylse says:

    for us, it didnt really help but it didnt hurt either and we both felt ready for marriage prior to counseling. counseling reinforced what we felt/knew. the only thing that threw us for a loop was how tasks would change once we have children – but no amount of talking could have helped. we have always been on the same page about the big picture things so that was a huge help. everything else we figured out as we went along; the thing about counseling is that it's abstract – its not relevant to where you are right then and there. Counseling became more relevant when we could talk to people who were going through the same things or had gone through the same things.
    hope this makes sense.

  4. Andrea T says:

    As a daughter of marriage counselors and counselor myself, I too recommend pre-marital, during martial and if necessary after marital counseling! A lot of people make assumptions about their future spouse and do not share their expectations with their spouse. You would be shocked at how many people do not talk about children, religion, finances, sex, and dealing with in laws before they get married. Often people may be so desperate or delusional about marriage that they assume all will get better/change when they say "I Do" That the little things that bother them before marriage will just magically not bother them after. Not to be all gloom and doom, counseling also can be a reinforcer of how wonderful the two will be together. But I always caution people who Refuse to get counseling, that to me is like refusing to get a physical. What are you so scared of that they may find? Oh and my hubs and I did get pre-marital counseling. And I will never forget sitting in the waiting area and another couple walked in and the gentleman said " Good thing you are doing this now, you don't want to come here after like us"

  5. FitMommaV says:

    Our church that we are members at (and got married at) required pre-marital counseling before you even set your wedding date, so we had no choice if we wanted to get married there. We enjoyed the counseling. It was several weeks. Discussed things like division of labor, sexuality, marital relationship etc. We actual will refer back to some of the topics every now and then. So, we definitely saw a benefit from it.
    My recent post Turn it up Tuesday

  6. marriage counseling was great for us. we talked about finances and brought our credit scores to the table. we talked about any family issues that could pop up in our relationship. we talked about what our household should look like biblically speaking. it was sooo much information but left us with some things to talk about and some things that we still practice in our marriage 4 years later.
    My recent post It Might Become a Habit…

  7. bossygirl says:

    I def recommend marriage counseling..it helps you work out the kinks before you tie the knot. It is always good to have a neutral person to help couples.

  8. I recommend counseling. We did it, at first at the church we were attending and my husband didn't care for the counselor, so then we asked my uncle to marry us and he required that we get counseling through him before he would marry us so we went with him. My husband actually got more out of the one on one counseling we did with my uncle.

    Counseling was useful for us from a faith based perspective but also because I had not been married before and my husband had so we needed to discuss both of our views about how we wanted our marriage to work.
    My recent post I Have Questions, You Have Answers: Round 4

  9. Quiana says:

    Highly recommend it – we took a 10 week course at our church with about 10 other couples (we met every Saturday morning). It was based on Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (http://www.amazon.com/Saving-Your-Marriage-Before-Starts/dp/0310492408) a year before our wedding. Despite dating for nearly 10 years we still learned so much about each other. It wasn't a perfect book (we used the his/hers workbooks too), but it was a good start. Now after 2 years of marriage we still reference it.
    My recent post Time for Baby #2?

  10. We didn't go because at the time, my husband was against it, but I would love to find some counseling now. It never hurts to be prepared.
    My recent post New York Times, Yahoo Finance and Vacations

  11. Thank, Q says:

    I think premarital counseling is essential. Some people spend more than a year to make preparations for being a bride or groom, but do not spend time learning how to be a wife or husband. The focus of a wedding isn't the "big day," it's the days that come afterwards. A lot of people will be surprised at some of the things that come up in counseling sessions that they didn't know existed. Even people who have lived together can learn more about themselves with a good counselor.

    Good luck and congrats!
    My recent post How Do You Protect Your Brand?

  12. The Student says:

    Absolutely, 100% the best decision we've ever made!
    My recent post 365 Reasons I Married My Husband (Reasons 134-140)

  13. The benefits and the disadvantages of the premarital counseling you shared them here those who are having the questions about that in their minds they can get the answers of them from here. You really write them in details.

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