Hot Topic: Is A Sorry Sex Life Grounds for Divorce?

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couple no sex stop sign in bed imageWhen I read the Jezebel headline “Man Fined $14,000 for Not Having Sex With His Wife”, you know I, like the rest of the site’s visitors, had to click right away to find out what exactly went down.

As it turns out, two yeas ago a 47-year-old woman in France convinced a judge to grant her a divorce citing that that her husband was to blame for the deterioration of their marriage. In a recent second round of court battles a judge ruled that her ex-husband has to pay up for not giving it up. The ruling states he must pay $14,000 for “lack of sex over 21 years of marriage”.

Wow! That’s a long time to go without sex, I agree, but I’m I don’t see a reason to be fined for it. Do you? The judge had this to say:

“A sexual relationship between husband and wife is the expression of affection they have for each other, and in this case it was absent … By getting married, couples agree to sharing their life and this clearly implies they will have sex with each other.”

Would you want your husband to pay up if he stopped desiring you and it lead to divorce? I think a divorce is a smart idea when things get that bad but it’s a stretch to expect someone to pay a larger divorce settlement for lack of sex. Remember the wife who stopped by Man, Wife and Dog to confess that her husband’s porn addiction and their nonexistent sex life lead to the demise of their marriage? Her story was so sad, and she mentioned heartache and pain, but never monetary gain.

What are your thoughts on this touchy subject and recent court ruling?

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20 Responses to Hot Topic: Is A Sorry Sex Life Grounds for Divorce?

  1. I.White says:

    There is so much more to marriage than sex. Sex is definitely the cherry on top though! I would not seek monetary gain if I were in her situation. Why can't they just get a normal divorce? When I hear about sex and money, I associate it with street walking and such. Must there be a price tag for everything?
    My recent post Pregnancy: The Best & Worst

  2. Exactly how do you put a price tag on sex and the value of it to the marriage?? Very weird…… Sex isn't the only component of marriage, there had to be some other things. I have so many thoughts about this running in my head…….. I just have to smh and leave it at that.
    My recent post Boobs or No Boobs – Wife Confession

  3. I could never ask for monetary compensation for not getting sex. That just sounds ridiculous. So many people put so much on the sexual part of the relationship. Marriage is about more than that. If we weren't on the same page sexually, we could probably still work it out.
    My recent post Keep the FLAME Alive

  4. Mike Linden says:

    An interesting, funny, and amusing story. However, I wouldn't take it too seriously. For one, it happened in France and not in the U.S. Each country/culture has it's own set of beliefs, practices, and customs – this fact is called "cultural relavism." Cultural relativism (CR) says that good and bad are relative to culture. What is "good" is what is "socially approved" in a given culture. Until things like this start happening in the U.S., I won't be too concerned with them. In support of the Judge and the wife, lack of sex in a marriage is equal to cruel and unusual punishment. Sex to a marriage is like food to your body. The husband deprived the wife of what she was entitled to. Before the judge fined the husband, he/she should've orderd him to undergo a physical and psychological evaluation to find out the cause of his unusual behavior. Again, I don't have all the facts of this case but without any physical or mental handicap, the husband's refusal to sleep with his wife was cruel, unusual, and mentally harmful to his wife and their marriage. The wife lost time and affection that she could never recover. — Mike Linden

  5. Caronisn Caron says:

    It's simple alienation of affection. It is an effective defense in divorce, especially when there is infidelity. Marriage is an agreement, which is why there is the expectation of fidelity. Barring physical inability, I say more power to her!

  6. Jamie Osborne says:

    So..if a man/woman gains weight during their marriage can they sue for false advertisement??

  7. Gregory Linden says:

    Gregory Linden
    An interesting, funny, and amusing story. However, I wouldn't take it too seriously. For one, it happened in France and not in the U.S. Each country/culture has it's own set of beliefs, practices, and customs – this fact is called "cultural relavism." Cultural relativism (CR) says that good and bad are relative to culture. What is "good" is what is "socially approved" in a given culture. Until things like this start happening in the U.S., I won't be too concerned with them. In support of the Judge and the wife, lack of sex in a marriage is equal to cruel and unusual punishment. Sex to a marriage is like food to your body. The husband deprived the wife of what she was entitled to. Before the judge fined the husband, he/she should've orderd him to undergo a physical and psychological evaluation to find out the cause of his unusual behavior. Again, I don't have all the facts of this case but without any physical or mental handicap, the husband's refusal to sleep with his wife was cruel, unusual, and mentally harmful to his wife and their marriage. The wife lost time and affection that she could never recover.

    • ManWifeDog says:

      Thanks for stopping by my blog Gregory! it's always so nice to hear what the men have to say about these issues. I would love to see you hear again. We hear plenty from the ladies and we need more men — bring 'em over. I promise to keep the hot topics coming! ;-)

  8. Tiffany says:

    I can definitely understand getting divorced, but paid? It seems a little far-fetched to me. I don't think this could happen in the U.S.
    My recent post What We Ate in August

    • ManWifeDog says:

      I agree! It's as ridiculous as that pearl theory thing I wrote about. We don't need to give men any more reasons to fill entitled to sex, and women too for that matter. Thanks for the comment love Tiff!

  9. cam says:

    no amount of money could cover 21 years of lack of sex. there had to be other things going on in their marriage to lead to lack of sex. those are the things that they need to address. so many questions – so little time. :)
    My recent post Hi, My Name Is…

  10. David says:

    I admit, 21 years is a long time. It must have really affected the wife's self esteem. But being fined for not having sex is ridiculous. The situation just shows the lack of affection of the partner which is a reason for divorce. For me, sex is the willingness of two people, it is not right to look at sex as an obligation.

    My recent post how to flirt with a girl

  11. Pingback: Weekend Love 8: Remembering 9/11 | 20 and Engaged

  12. Sonia says:

    Sex matters allot and if its only one-sided,we have problems. For me I want to connect on all situations and that one is pretty important to me. The person described in this post is extreme and that is totally uncalled for, but if both people can't be satisfied, they might eventually seek it somewhere else. Glad I don't have that problem!
    My recent post How to Pick a Niche When It’s Already Crowded

  13. Undefiled says:

    I do not agree that the woman should have been paid for the lack of sex, but I do understand the sting of rejection a person feels when they are no longer having sex with their spouse. Especially when the other partner does not communicate why sex is no longer occurring. It is a form of mental cruelty. It is not unreasonable to expect sex from the person you married. It's so hurtful to people who really love their spouse, and do not want to go outside of their marriage to fulfill this need. I just read another blog on this site that says married couples should have more sex to strengthen their intimacy and bond. Yet, in the comments to this post I see statements like, "too much emphasis is placed on sex". Which one is it? I don't want to cheat on my spouse, but it hurts when your partner does not desire you, and nothing you have done to try and turn things around has helped.

  14. dmitryshamparovdimobile says:

    New sex sorry meaning for me :-) I will add to my article https://sex-sorry.com/sex-sorry-meaning/ this topic

  15. Valerie Mondesir Alarcon says:

    Valerie Mondesir Alarcon

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