Q: Would You Have Known He Was The One At 18?

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will you go out with me circle yes or noA new study found that nearly one in 10 women in the United States were married before the age of 18. I’m not easily shocked by marriage “statistics” but this one did surprise me some. The same study reveals that those women who marry early on in life (something they’re calling “child marriage”) have a much higher risk of mental illness than those who wait. Perhaps, I’m stating the obvious here, but could it be that some of these girls were too young to know the man was not The One and would ultimately drive them crazy one day? Alas, no judgments here. I often say, when you know, you know. Love is funny like that.

Reading this article made me think about something The Man often says to me when we’re going through my old “stuff” boxes with knick-knacks and photos from my childhood. He goes, “I think you would have loved me in high school if we knew each other then.” I always smirk and say, “I’d like to think so, but I’m just not sure.” He laughs it off, but truth be told, I seriously don’t know if that would have held true back then. Mostly because, at 18, I was bad at choosing boyfriends – really bad. I had no clue what type of man could handle all I had to offer and instead I picked those who were so intimidated by me, even at that age, that they chose to mistreat and belittle me and call it “caring” or “love”.

If a guy as great as Gibran had marched on over to my locker and kicked some game, I don’t think I would have been able to recognize this shining qualities. It’s sad, but true. He would have wanted to take me out for a nice dinner date at Applebees and have me home on time by curfew, and I would have probably blew him off for the guy who wanted to “take me to his friends party” – a night that would have likely ended with me sitting there miserable and alone on some random couch with no one to talk to while my “date” was off getting wasted and fulfilling his own selfish needs. Yup, I was a dating doofus back then; so I’m super glad I didn’t meet my husband when I was 18. I was too bruised and broken to know a good thing when I saw it. I needed those three extra years to get it together! At 21, when he did finally walk into my life (thank God!), I was much more equipped to know what I didn’t want in a man and to recognize the qualities I did.

Did you know your husband at 18? If you did, would you have married him then? If you did marry him then, are you going crazy? (Ha!) Do you think it was the right choice? I asked this on Facebook the other day, but I’ll repeat it here. How old were you when you get married? Let’s discuss!

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15 Responses to Q: Would You Have Known He Was The One At 18?

  1. Beth says:

    I did know my Husband @ 18, and we will be married for 25 years in Jan. 2012. I'd like to think I'm not driving him crazy…..but you'd have toa sk him. :)

  2. Shannon says:

    Surprisingly I DID know my husband at 18 an we were very serious. I only first seen him when I was 17 and professed to my girlfriend that he was going to be my husband! Weird huh?!?! However, we did not marry until 5 years later, but we've been happily married for almost 15 years!
    My recent post Way Back Wednesday! {30 Years of MTV?}

  3. Cassie Ladd says:

    I always knew I'd have been crazy attracted to my husband. He's definitely my "type," but at that age – I doubt I'd have had the foresight to consider him anything more than a seriously cute guy.
    My recent post Comment on Fill in the Blank – If I could change one thing about my life right now it would be …. by Annie

  4. I fell head over heels for my hubby when we were 14! LOL. We dated on and off throughout high school (cause we still did need to grow up separately during certain moments) but it always came back to him.

    When we finally got married, I was 19 and couldn’t believe we’d waited so long, lol! We’ve been married for seven years now and he’s still everything to me.

    And yes, I have mental illness though I’m much more likely to blame my parents for that one than my husband, lol!

  5. I.White says:

    I knew my boo at 18 and I would have for sure married him then, but I was still in high school. I was 20 when we got married. We were such an old couple when were dating in high school. Once we were together, we didn't party…we stayed home, went dining, or out to a movie. We even had joint checking accounts!
    My recent post Smothered Pork Chops

  6. fahmi says:

    I am the different one from this crowd, apparently. We talk about it fairly regularly, that neither one of us would have even liked each other when we were in high school. We were very different people and had different interests and friends back then. We became best friends before we married, but that was after both of us did some growing up!

  7. I.White – are you living my life?! LOL

    I met hubby when we were 16, and at 18 I did know he was the one, just wasn't sure when/if it would happen. Thankfully we did. We got married at 20 and I like to think it works in our favor, since we get to grow together. Between 16 and 20 we've definitely been able to grow up a lot together, but I'm even more excited about the years to come.
    My recent post Marriage Chat Recap: In-Laws and Extended Family

  8. FitMommaV says:

    I met my husband at 16 also. I told him he was going to age well and I wanted to know him at 40 because I thought he would be hot. Fast forward 16 years…we have been married almost 6 years and he is a hottie at 31, lol. We dated for a minute in high school and then were best friends and started dating again when we were 20. So, I guess, I didn't know he was the one at 18, but I knew would be in my life in some way for a long time.

  9. Mimi says:

    Well, I did know my husband at 19. We dated for a year split up for 3 and the rest was history. We got back together at 22, married at 26. I will say I knew his qualities were good and that eventually we would be together. I'm really happy things worked out for us.

    However, I think the split was necessary. We took those 3 years apart to learn ourselves. Although he came back with a child I think we were in a better position to know we were meant to be together. I guess the saying is true…if its meant to be it will be.
    My recent post I’m Vloggin’..The Thrift

  10. yea – i am not sure. I was in a different place in my life at that age. I think meeting at 26 was perfect timing!
    My recent post Looking for your favorite recipes!

  11. Kathy C says:

    I didn't meet my husband until I was 22. And honestly if we were in high school when we met we probably wouldn't even have considered dating. We laugh about the prospect and how lucky we are that we met while we were older and bit more mature. :)
    My recent post Ice Ice Baby!

  12. My husband and I married at 23 and 24. We started dating around age of 20.

    Thank you Jesus, I did not marry the guy I was dating at 18!! I absolutely would have had major psychological issues.
    However, the lesson from that guy made me better prepared to determine that my husband was the one. =)
    My recent post It Ain't that Simple

  13. kim says:

    this post is quite interesting, i am the typical kind of girl. and wanted to wait for the right person at the right age. but i just turned 30 and i still haven't got my Mr. Right. :( do you think i just wasted my time? or there's just something wrong with me? ehh!
    My recent post Motorcycle/Motorbike Accidents Compensation Claims

  14. I fell head over heels for my hubby when we were 14! LOL. We dated on and off throughout high school (cause we still did need to grow up separately during certain moments) but it always came back to him.

    When we finally got married, I was 19 and couldn't believe we'd waited so long, lol! We've been married for seven years now and he's still everything to me.

    And yes, I have mental illness though I'm much more likely to blame my parents for that one than my husband, lol!

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