Study Says: He’ll Ditch You If You Get Fat (Grow Up Guys!)

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Okay in recent what-the-hell-is-with-people news, a recent Cosmopolitan.com study revealed that 50 percent of men polled say they would dump their partner for putting on extra pounds. Full disclosure: I battle with my weight constantly, so I could be slightly biased (and/or bitter).

Now, back to business. Only 20 percent of women said they would ditch their heavier significant other. Seriously, people? I think what’s perhaps most surprising is that unlike a lot of little studies we see mentioned in the news, this one actually polled 70,000 people – so we’re talking about a lot of superficial and ridiculously delusional husbands and boyfriends here.

This is just sad to me. Will a wife love you any less because she can’t resist a second brownie or some McDonald’s French fries? NO! Will a wife support you any less because she drinks more soda than she should and can never quite make it to that yoga or pilates class? NO! Hearing this makes me wonder just what “love” means to a man. Does loving a man mean you most stay fit or stay true? Doing both is awesome, but should certainly not be a requirement.

It’s sickening to think that any man or woman would abandon the person they love because they’re having issues with their weight. That said, if you’re with a man who would walk away from you because you and all you have because you jumped up a dress size or two, then you deserved better anyway!

Women, it seems, are more tolerant of men packing it on, which honestly doesn’t surprise me. I believe women fall in love with the whole man, but history and hormones often show that men first fall for a woman physically and then begin to love the rest of her. I don’t support that logic either, but I think we all know at least one or two men who see outsides before insides. Thankfully I’m certain I didn’t marry one, and if I thought I had, I’d be halfway out the door. Even when I’m calling myself a fatty tatty (not my finest moments for sure), The Man is always telling me to stop it and reminding me that he’d love me just the same no matter how big or smile I was. His only request: Just don’t lose that booty! Ha! We can let that one slide, I think. But seriously, what’s going on with a man who could walk away from love over something so superficial? I see that when men put on a little beer gut pudge, it’s all supposed to be all good around the house, but God forbid we can’t fit into that dress they love. Come on, that’s crazy! Get over yourselves guys.

Didn’t we vow ‘til death do us part? Not ‘til the scale tips. Grow up guys!

Ladies, does this disturb you too? Does your spouse give you any crap about your weight? If so, how does it make you feel?

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25 Responses to Study Says: He’ll Ditch You If You Get Fat (Grow Up Guys!)

  1. I'm already a big girl as it is and I've always, ALWAYS had the mentality that if my size was too much or a guy didn't like me being the "fat girl" he can kiss my booty and go away. My dad used to say to me, "If you want to get a boyfriend or land a good husband you need to lose the weight." I would always tell him, "If a man cared more about the number on my jeans than what is in my head then he is NOT worth it or worthy of me. Period."

    When I was back in the dating world I dealt with guys who thought a fat girl was desperate so they'd sleep with anyone just so they could get a little something something. It was the "Fat girl is good enough to $^% but not good enough to date" mentality. Royally pissed me off at how shallow these men were. Thankfully I managed to spot these a-holes from a mile away and avoid them.

    My husband loves me for me…big booty, tatas, belly, and all. I'm no supermodel by any means but in his eyes I'm beautiful. In the end, that's good enough for me. I have an awesome man who is amazing in many ways (and sexy as hell to boot) and that is what I am not only thankful for, I feel truly blessed to have.
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  2. SLS says:

    My husband would not leave me BUT he would encourage me to be at a healthy weight. That is what I would expect of him too. If we can do things to support our health/fitness goals then we are all over that effort. I would also want him to keep himself up- not just weight but taking care of himself on all accounts. Now that we are parents, we have an even greater reason to not pack on the pounds…our overly active toddler :)
    Studies like this make me see why the divorce rate is so high. People do not marry with the right expectations/ belief system.
    And just to be clear my little one is the only one rockin' a size 2 in this house :)

  3. oh yes – this has been a topic for over a month in our household and it can be very hurtful. Because he is doing a weight loss competition at work and has lost 18 lbs, all of a sudden, I am the unhealthy one and I need to lose weight, and was more attractive when I was thinner… ( getting angry thinking about it) Best part is I am not over weight, fat, or unattractive. But I have hit 30 and your body changes, not as easy to keep the butt tight and the arm from shaking…

    Funny how the wheels turn in a males head.
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  4. Tiffany In Houston says:

    Well he married me fat, and he ain't little either, so there you are.

    But we both have been trying to watch our diets because we both NEED to but not because we are watching the scale on each other.
    My recent post Obey Your Thirst

  5. Summer says:

    Sex plays a big part in every relationship and I'm sure that's where these numbers of coming from. Could you honestly say, "honey, I'm not attracted to you at this weight."? I think that would be soul-crushing to any partner. But if it's the truth, should you lie about it? No, weight shouldn't impact how much you love a person (after all, we give Santa a pass and can't wait to jump on his lap when we're kids), but if your partner is struggling with a weight issue, you should air on the side of gentle honesty and say something to the effect of "You're happier, sexier, and more beautiful when you're healthy inside and outside, and that's the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. How can I help you be that person, and in turn you help me be that person too?"

  6. Jewel says:

    I sometimes get nagged a bit by the DH, but he is no better at keeping his weight down, and I do try to eat healthily (most of the time) and take exercise (ditto). What more can you do? Putting on weight is a fact of life as you get older, unfortunately.

  7. I think that any man who would leave you because of your weight isn't the right person for you to be with anyway. I thankfully haven't had to deal with this issue, but if I did I would certainly be hurt, and probably very defensive.
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  8. Jasmine says:

    I would love to know the ethnicity of the men they polled. I tend to think that this is more an issue for WHITE men, since society tends to glamorize anorexic white female body types. I'm not saying men of color don't have similar opinions, but I do think the way society portrays female stereotypes (and how that is so often a white female) has an effect on the way men judge their significant others. It affects the way women feel about their bodies, but it also affects the way MEN feel about our bodies. It works both ways.

  9. I don't like it, but then again, I'm not surprised. There's a bunch of men who are attracted to women physically first and personality wise afterwards. Men are a lot more superficial than women. Although, I do know some women who are the same way, but like you said, we're more tolerant of it. I'm working on my weight, as I'm not comfortable with the pounds I've picked up (even if some of them were out of my hands due to PCOS) but my husband is pretty good about telling me that I'm NOT fat.
    My recent post Marriage Chat Recap: Roles in Marriage

  10. Allison says:

    I think this is crazy!! If a man can’t love you for you then you shouldn’t be with him. I am chubby and my husband loves it. I’ve been chubby all my life and when I met my husband 6 years ago, thats the reason he wanted to meet me. He likes “Big” girls.. He said if I want to loose weight thats fine he doesn’t care. He loves me for me and thats all that matters. … Oh and he did say the same to me.. “Don’t Loose the Booty” haha… and I’m ok with that… Some men need to grow up and get over themselves. I can’t believe they would leave their girl over weight. Talk about selfish and childish!

  11. Tiffany says:

    Jasmine has a great point. Most men of color prefer their women to have curves.
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  12. Thank, Q says:

    As a man, I don't think it matters to me if The Mrs. gained weight. The only thing that would cause a problem for me is for her to stop trying. What I mean by that is for her to stop doing her hair, dressing with class, etc. I can understand weight gain as we get older, but once she stops doing the things that attracted me to her in the first place, then I can see it being an issue. Not necessarily a deal breaker, but an issue. And I'm sure that she would feel the same way about my appearance. You can still be thick in the waist yet cute in the face.
    My recent post Would You Go to Jail for Football Tickets?

  13. peter says:

    As a man, I think the man and wife both need to look good or at least try to. It will get a problem if one of the two tries and the other doesn't.
    My recent post Kantoormeubelen

  14. Sonia says:

    If a man dumps you because of your weight, then he wasn't worth it anyway. Men like that lack depth and are too immature anyway. I don't want to be a with "boy", I want a man! If you gain weight and lord knows I have, then its time to put attention to your health, and not how you look for your man. Always take care of you first!
    My recent post 5 Tips on How to Find Time To Blog When You Work an 8 to 5 Job

  15. Sarah says:

    I have to say ladies, I get it. I wouldn't want my husband putting on a bunch of weight. It's one thing to get a little out of shape, we all do from time to time, but it is a completely different thing for him to become obese. To me, obesity is just a physical manifestation of laziness and a lack of self-controll. I would never marry someone like that, therefor, I would never stay with someone like that. So, instead of saying, "Grow up guys," we should say, "Shape up people!"

  16. Pingback: Sun in the Sky, You Know How I Feel: Men Who Let Themselves Go « Because I Said So

  17. Dan says:

    Marrying someone who is overweight to begin with, you know what you're getting in to. But what about if your wife was slim when you got married and then put on a lot of weight? I am not contemplating leaving my wife but I can't say I'm happy that she has packed on about 100 pounds since we've been married. She weighed 140 at 5'3" in 1999 and is probably 250 now. That doesn't seem fair either.

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