Advice columnist Amy Dickinson, who’s behind the Ask Amy column in The Washington Post, came under fire this week when she gave what many felt was absolutely terrible advice. A woman wrote to her saying that her husband hated her best friend, and because of that, frequently read their private e-mails to one another and used what he found in them against her. Amy told the poor woman that she was just as wrong as her husband for letting her friend get in the way of her marriage. In fact she practically let the woman’s husband off the hook. Commenters were up in arms over the fact that Amy didn’t further scold the woman’s husband for checking her emails.
In my opinion there are quite a few issues worth addressing here; email snooping being the first. This is something I just don’t do simply because I wouldn’t want it done to me. Married or not, we all deserve privacy on some level. I don’t go near my husband’s e-mail inbox unless I’m specifically asked to do so. Case closed. I’m not even sure I remember the password to his account, though I know he’s given it to mee many times before. It’s just a road I don’t ever want to venture down in my marriage. I might find something I never needed to and make more out of it than I was ever meant to. This ladies’ husband has zero right to go fishing through her inbox! I do agree Amy was wrong to let him slide so easily.
Now, the other issue here is what happens when friends and husbands don’t mix. There’s so much to this, it warrants a separate post for sure, but in the meantime I will say this: Your husband sees your friends through your eyes more times than not, and if he doesn’t like what he’s seeing you’re probably saying too much about he or she to him, period.
But anyway, lets have a heart to heart here.
Ladies, do you read your husbands’ emails? (Might want to comment anonymously if you do.) And if so, under what circumstances would you deem it okay to check your husband’s email?