The experience was truly surreal and eye opening in so many ways. You can read my article about what Will taught me about marriage over on ESSENCE.com for a full recap but today I’m just going to highlight the most valuable tip he shared with me: The art of giving your man the space he needs to stay sane.
“If you don’t give your husband thirty minutes to himself when he first comes home he’ll stop coming home,” Will said.
It was a doozey of a statement but since he and Jada have been happily married for like ever I figured it was totally worth a try. I’ve been guilty many a nights of bombarding my husband with questions/comments/requests the minute he or I walk in the door. Sure he usually looks annoyed but I never really cared that much until now to be honest. I figured it came with the whole marriage territory thing. But after Will dropped his wisdom on me I thought to myself maybe I’m wrong. I want The Man to keep coming home, obviously.
So alas I gave it a go. The Man gets home from work before I do so it’s not quite the same scenario. However, I can tell that he feels attacked often times when I would come home with verbal guns blazing. In an effort to keep the peace (and listen to a bonafide expert like Will), for the last week I’ve given my husband exactly thirty minutes of utter peace when we first see each other in the evenings. After the kiss and the hug we keep to ourselves a bit. It felt a little odd at first, almost like I was ignoring him, but the felling passed and in rolled the peace. I can honestly say that even on nights when we did have something “deep” to discuss there was less tension in the air overall. So much so that I’m thinking we can make this a regular thing in our house. We’ve joked about calling it a “temporary timeout”. What do you think of that phrase? Either way I just had to share it with you all because as it turns out, Will Smith isn’t just an awesome actor, he’s a pretty darn good marriage counselor too. Go figure!
Do you need to attempt this “trick” in your marriage? If you try it, as always, would love it if you come and report back.