The Man and I do our very best to keep up with each other’s lives outside our marriage. When we’re both finally home from work in the evenings we get together for what I jokingly call “story time”. This is when we both tell our “you won’t believe what happened to me today” stories and try to best each other’s tales with one even more hilarious or off the wall. Yesterday my husband had me beat. He recently started working a second job to save money for our big trip to Europe next summer (tell you more about that later) so after completing a long 15-hour day he decided to hit the bar for a drink. His main goal was to grab a beer or two but my husband’s very chatty so it wasn’t long before he was fully engaged in casual chit chat with the two people sitting next to him, a couple enjoying happy hour together.
The woman asked him more questions about himself than the man did, obviously. It wasn’t long before my husband felt almost as if he were being grilled. She wanted to know his name, age, where he works, even what he likes to do for fun. He was confused. It felt as if she were trying to size him up, but why? She was there with another man and my husband was clearly wearing a wedding ring. Then she mentioned “all her many single girlfriends” and it hit him: She might be trying to make a love connection for them. But hold on. Hasn’t she noticed he’s married?
To be sure there’s no awkward conversation coming later (since she’s said her friends are on the way there to meet her) my husband decides to slide in a little name-dropping. He successfully uses the phrase “my wife” three times in one sentence. Bam! She has to get it now, right? Maybe…or maybe not? Just as she appears to begin to notice that he’s really married and her date is really bored her friends arrive. The woman is quick to introduce him to those single friends of hers and she runs off all the things she’s learned about my husband to them (her poor date must feel so left out!) except for the one most important thing. He’s married! She forgot that part. So my husband slides “my wife” into another sentence as he pretends to care what these new ladies have to say. (He’s reached his limit as far as non-wife-girl-talk attention spans go.) Both women say in unison “oh, you’re married?!!” Again, my husband is confused. Do women not look out for wedding rings the same way men do, he wondered? He tells them that he is in fact married and happily married at that. He says their moods visibly changed once he used the word “happy” before the word “marriage” but that was no surprise to him because most single women do resent that. (Oh really!?)
In an effort to still make conversation they asked my husband what his wife does for a living and he told them she works for ESSENCE.com as the Relationship Editor and then he mentioned the blog and gave dropped my name. (Love that he’s that proud of me!) He said that’s when the looks of shock, surprise, and even skepticism took form. “No way!” “Yeah, right!” “What’s her name?” He told them and then excused himself to go to the men’s room. On his way back he noticed them feverishly plugging away on their phones. He walked back over to say farewell to the group (it was time to pick me up from the train station) and one of them said: “Wow, you weren’t lying. We googled uour wife. She exists.” My husband said he chuckled right on out of there and couldn’t wait to come home and ask me what was up with that. He goes, “Do women really google a man’s wife just to be sure she exists before they back off?” My answer: Let’s just hope they were just big ESSENCE fans, because if not, I’m scared a new breed of husband hunters has been born. The end.
Ladies, I just must know your reaction to this one. Do you know a woman who would do that? Do you think they were just playing around? My husband didn’t.