The Tale of the Women Who Googled Me To Get With My Husband

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google search someoneThe Man and I do our very best to keep up with each other’s lives outside our marriage. When we’re both finally home from work in the evenings we get together for what I jokingly call “story time”. This is when we both tell our “you won’t believe what happened to me today” stories and try to best each other’s tales with one even more hilarious or off the wall. Yesterday my husband had me beat. He recently started working a second job to save money for our big trip to Europe next summer (tell you more about that later) so after completing a long 15-hour day he decided to hit the bar for a drink. His main goal was to grab a beer or two but my husband’s very chatty so it wasn’t long before he was fully engaged in casual chit chat with the two people sitting next to him, a couple enjoying happy hour together.

The woman asked him more questions about himself than the man did, obviously. It wasn’t long before my husband felt almost as if he were being grilled. She wanted to know his name, age, where he works, even what he likes to do for fun. He was confused. It felt as if she were trying to size him up, but why? She was there with another man and my husband was clearly wearing a wedding ring. Then she mentioned “all her many single girlfriends” and it hit him: She might be trying to make a love connection for them. But hold on. Hasn’t she noticed he’s married?

To be sure there’s no awkward conversation coming later (since she’s said her friends are on the way there to meet her) my husband decides to slide in a little name-dropping. He successfully uses the phrase “my wife” three times in one sentence. Bam! She has to get it now, right? Maybe…or maybe not? Just as she appears to begin to notice that he’s really married and her date is really bored her friends arrive. The woman is quick to introduce him to those single friends of hers and she runs off all the things she’s learned about my husband to them (her poor date must feel so left out!) except for the one most important thing. He’s married! She forgot that part. So my husband slides “my wife” into another sentence as he pretends to care what these new ladies have to say. (He’s reached his limit as far as non-wife-girl-talk attention spans go.) Both women say in unison “oh, you’re married?!!” Again, my husband is confused. Do women not look out for wedding rings the same way men do, he wondered? He tells them that he is in fact married and happily married at that. He says their moods visibly changed once he used the word “happy” before the word “marriage” but that was no surprise to him because most single women do resent that. (Oh really!?)

In an effort to still make conversation they asked my husband what his wife does for a living and he told them she works for ESSENCE.com as the Relationship Editor and then he mentioned the blog and gave dropped my name. (Love that he’s that proud of me!) He said that’s when the looks of shock, surprise, and even skepticism took form. “No way!” “Yeah, right!” “What’s her name?” He told them and then excused himself to go to the men’s room. On his way back he noticed them feverishly plugging away on their phones. He walked back over to say farewell to the group (it was time to pick me up from the train station) and one of them said: “Wow, you weren’t lying. We googled uour wife. She exists.” My husband said he chuckled right on out of there and couldn’t wait to come home and ask me what was up with that. He goes, “Do women really google a man’s wife just to be sure she exists before they back off?” My answer: Let’s just hope they were just big ESSENCE fans, because if not, I’m scared a new breed of husband hunters has been born. The end.

Ladies, I just must know your reaction to this one. Do you know a woman who would do that? Do you think they were just playing around? My husband didn’t.

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37 Responses to The Tale of the Women Who Googled Me To Get With My Husband

  1. silentchic12 says:

    That is insane!! But in recent years I have noticed a serious lack of respect for relationships out here!! SMH @ those silly "women"
    My recent post Quickie: One Year Bang Progress!

  2. L says:

    wow! trifling!!! And yes, they were being for real…seen it happen one too many times :-(
    My recent post Exhausted after long day at daycare

  3. CaliGirlED says:

    This is my first time reading your blog. I saw the the subject on twitter (thanks Tiffany) and came on over. This is some way out stuff! The fact that the woman bothered to introduce your husband to her friends as someone of interest is down right disrespectful! And those two further inquiring and taking the time to google you is what I call (and I'll use my new term) HEAUXNANIGANS!!!

  4. myloverswife says:

    Desperate people do desperate things…I wouldn't give it a second thought.
    My recent post Wordless Wednesday: Singing in the rain

  5. alovelydai says:

    First of all…da hell? 2ndly I love the new digs. And 3rd of all DA HELL??? I can't believe that. This is a prime example of one thirsty bunch of women!!!

  6. Connie says:

    I'm a single woman. I look for wedding rings. I halt all flirtatious activity when I see one or when he mentions he's married. (What really gets me are married men who don't wear a wedding ring…subject for another post, perhaps?) Marriage is sacred to me; that's all there is to it.
    My recent post "You Have to See That Thing!"

  7. I would have have put those women in their place right then and there. Mentioning several times he's married and choosing to blow that off repeatedly then play dumb later is RUDE. Not to mention pathetically desperate. Before I was married I always checked for a ring. If no ring, proceed until you know for sure he is available. If no ring but in a relationship, move on to the next one.

    It's sad some women are so desperate and predatory they do this crap. Makes them look rather petty, immature, and pathetic. I hope they read this post again and realize how bad they made themselves look.

    By the way, LOVE the new design!
    My recent post Missing My City by the Bay

  8. Tazzee says:

    Looking for wedding rings was second nature to me. Was? It still is. It’s become a habit and I put it to good use when looking out for my single friends.

  9. Dog_Man_Wife says:

    What was the nationality of these women???

  10. The Student says:

    You are sadly mistaken if you think some women give two craps about a wedding band or hearing the words, "my wife." Some women are just scandalous! Yesterday I was watching Steve Harvey's radio show on Centric and Sheryl Underwood did a guest segment…she actually advised women who were seeing a married man to "wait on him" if things were bad for him at home. I guess there aren't enough men to go around or something.

    Oooooh girl and they googled you!!! Wedding rings are invisible these days…and some women have selective hearing when it comes to the words "my wife."
    My recent post Dear Unborn Children, You Will Know You Are Blessed!!!

  11. md_KG says:

    First time reader and commenter. Saw this on Twitter via (@TiffanyNHouston).

    What I want to know is what is it about the word 'married' that now screams "come hither"??!! I'm honestly baffled at this new phenomenon. I long for the days when the word actually signified a man or woman as off-limits!!

  12. TheProDiva says:

    I totally believe him! I know a girl who went on my hubby's Facebook page to see if he was listed as being married to me. Really though? Has it come to this!?
    My recent post 10 Questions…

  13. Dana says:

    My husband always says that a wedding ring attracts women because it must signal a good man. I do not think that they were playing and totally meant to do what they did.

  14. Chasing Joy says:

    I am single and guity of not looking for wedding rings. I think because most of my friends are single I dont really think to look for it. I would definately back off after noticing it or after the guy said he was married. I think the women more so googled you to see if he was telling the truth about who his wife was, if he was really married to the relationship editor from Essence, not to see if he was really married. Their friend just sounds crazy.
    My recent post The Joy of Pets

  15. Angela says:

    Some women are truly thirsty. It's a shame, but my hubby told me after reading this, that this is exactly what happens. He finds it funnily annoying, but is amazed that some women are so needy when they can't find a man of their own that they feel they need to take someone else's.
    My recent post Rediscovering My Heritage

  16. NYStateofMom says:

    Sad but I've seen it done :-( like FALL BACK!!! Dudes don't wear fake out rings so if he has one on GET LOST. Thirsty smh
    My recent post I Almost Clicked the Button..

  17. attorney2be says:

    Wow! I've never heard anything like that. I would not google a woman's name just to make sure the guy isn't lying. What's the point? If they found out he was lying that would obviously meant he clearly wasn't interested. But the fact that he continued to say he was married and they just didn't care, is really scary. Even though I'm divorced, I wear my ring. Why? I really don't want to be bothered. And up to this point, it works. I am in a relationship and if I say I'm in a relationship, a lot of men don't care. But I've been fortunate enough that if they think I'm married, they back off. It's sad I've had to do this but there are so many people who just don't respect any relationship at all. Married or not.

  18. attorney2be says:

    Wow! I've never heard anything like that. I would not google a woman's name just to make sure the guy isn't lying. What's the point? If they found out he was lying that would obviously meant he clearly wasn't interested. But the fact that he continued to say he was married and they just didn't care, is really scary. Even though I'm divorced, I wear my ring. Why? I really don't want to be bothered. And up to this point, it works. I am in a relationship and if I say I'm in a relationship, a lot of men don't care. But I've been fortunate enough that if they think I'm married, they back off. It's sad I've had to do this but there are so many people who just don't respect any relationship at all. Married or not.

  19. kiSo says:

    obviously, their behavior and fully-informed-yet-purposely-in-denial-ness was atrocious with a side of some serious bullshit.

    but can we talk about how i adooore how proud the Man was of his wife and his HAPPY marriage. that he had no problem reiterating it over & over again. that is just so hope-infusing and glee-inducing. yay for the Man. the Wife must be keep'n him happy (:

  20. sheswrite says:

    This some bull-shizz-nit. I don't think those thirsty haters were playing around, not at all. Some people will get a man anyway that they can. As an aside, I love that you two have those "You won't believe what happened to me today" talks, me and Hubby do too and it's so fun.
    My recent post A Bump In The Road In My Half-Marathon Training

  21. theMRS. says:

    UMMMMMMMM THAT is kind of crazy!

    I went to University at BYU in Provo, I am LDS and typically LDS culture is based a lot around dating and marriage. I learned REALLY quick to look for a ring. There were so many YOUNG, like super young married guys you had to check. There was no other way. That or you would spend an hour chatting up the wrong guy.

    I can't imagine not not backing off…so weird.

    theMR. doesnt wear his wedding band. Just not his style and its ladies like that, that make me wish he did! Good thing you are google-able.

    ♥ theMRS.
    My recent post I realized the other day that I am a really Lucky Lady.

  22. aMES says:

    I think married men are a goal for some women. A married man has already proven a willingness to commit.

    My husband has a friend who is married-separated without intent to divorce. The guy is wasting the time of a woman and when the guys were hanging out, the girl showed up with some of her girls and the girls were shopping for married men.

    The ring leader had a baby by an athlete years ago and then hooked her girls up with other athletes so they too could be baby mamas and get a check. The level of drought is so sad.
    My recent post Pushed from Comfort

  23. Kendra says:

    This story was funny, but sad at the same time. I have a friend that doesn't care who she flirts or hooks up with…married men or any other man for that matter. I pray for her all the time.

    That says a lot about a women who will purposely attempt to hook up with a married man, knowing he's married and still don't care. Wow! Thank goodness the lord gave me sense and a willingness to wait for my own husband!
    My recent post Un-Forgiveness ~ How It Destroys Your Chance at Love

  24. howdoyoupronouncethat says:

    That's horrible! You're a saint for finding the humor in this.
    My recent post Hypocrisy 101

  25. Thank, Q says:

    That's a tad bit stalkerish. Talk about being beyond desperate. I have to admit though: when I was single, I never paid attention to if a woman was wearing what appeared to be a wedding ring or not. I've met plenty of single women who wear a ring on their "ring finger" and they're still single. Because of that, I never even cared if a woman had a ring on her "ring finger" or not because it may not be an indicator. She had to tell me in order for me to know.
    My recent post Would You Go to Jail for a Hamburger?

  26. Felicity says:

    Wow. The first woman has got to be nuts. Her poor date! I think the friends were just excited to meet the husband (happily married) of a celebrity. 'Cause you're kind of a celebrity! I just don't get why they didn't notice his ring….
    My recent post What a Productive Weekend

  27. @jordynrose_ says:

    Oh course they weren't playing!!! That is SO disgusting and is the reason why many women are so catty but we don't have to be. They are a "type" of people that can't stand when a nice looking man or any man for that matter isn't interested in them. I think they were trying to test him and I hope they learned their lesson. SMH

    The sad and crazy truth is that their tactic has worked before. But that's neither here nor there. All you can do as a couple is remain respect for your relationship and that's exactly what your husband did. I know they went home better but trust till this day they are thinking about him and how they wish they could find a man like him- like yours. But they will have to pray about that one because with ugly actions such as that they will never attract a good man.

    ooohhh girl. I may need to take a walk around the house after that one, hahaa
    My recent post 3 Things You Should Know About

  28. Linda Rostiana Subastian says:

    I find someone else’s husbands very attractive, most women do, don’t you girls think the same way? My husband doesn’t care about me and I am a lonely bitch and mentally sick too so I would do anything to get someone else’s husbands love. Some wives call me WOLVES, but those husbands just love me :) They would do anything to get me. Those husbands would shower me with lots of love so I think why not??? The things I would do that wives don’t even think: write love letters everyday, buy their husband lots of gifts, from tshirts to shoes, watch, etc, anything that would make the men attracted to me… All sorts other dirty tactics to ensure that I win the love all the way…

  29. Linda Rostiana Subastian says:

    I even buy gifts for those husbands kids…..so if you want to learn from me, I can teach you girls how to PLAY THIS FUN GAME…..

  30. patrick utin says:

    am patrick single 31yrs godfearing/honest i am searching for a truthful woman for a relatonship that will lead to marriage she can write me my gmail ;doromancity@gmail.com

  31. Soo says:

    I don't know. Who cares. Maybe your husband should be flattered that women find him attractive enough to call over their friends. Since your husband is happily married, you don't have to be concerned. They seem like flakey girls anyway. They sound weird and I've never heard of someone setting their single friends up with a married man. Dumb. Maybe they were all bimbos.

  32. Soo says:

    What I get from that is that women are so accustomed to hearing men lie that they don't believe anything anyone says anymore.

  33. teezie says:

    It’s 100% real! My fiancee does security for a few of the local clubs and he has told me accounts of women I know personally. The new thing is to ask a man if he is “happily” married. It’s like the lack of the H word makes a married man fair game. Not cool!

  34. OMG!!! That was SO foul..on the part of the married friend and on the part of those thirsty ass broads!

    I hope they google you TODAY so they can see that they are blog STARS for being thirsty and desperate!

    Oh and I love the new design!

  35. dfna.info says:

    Everybody is a possible victim of this unfair practice

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