Question: Are You Giving Your Husband What You Expect From Him?

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marriage tug of war couple tug o war

I had to check myself last night. I realized there I was sitting on the couch moaning and groaning about what my husband hadn’t done that day and it hit me – like a sucker punch – oh my God, I haven’t done jack either!! (#fail) Isn’t it amazing how we can sometimes ask for more than we’re actually giving back? What’s fair in that arrangement? Back when I was a single girl and dating I used to always say that I wanted to be as much a quality woman as the quality man I was in search of. It’s imperative that we remember not to expect more than we’re willing to give. I think back then I was totally 100 percent on top of giving my best self to Gibran, but these last few weeks I’ve been slipping.

How dare I ask why he hasn’t unloaded the dryer when I haven’t even loaded the dishwasher? Can I seriously get on him about not saving when I just splurged TWICE in one week on clothing? I can’t. I shouldn’t. And, I’m damn sure not going to do it anymore. Reality check, cashed. Honey, I’m so sorry I forgot to practice what I always preach. At my alma mater, Spelman College, we have a school saying we had to repeat constantly during our four years: “To whom much is given, much is expected.” I was given the gift of a wonderful, loving, and supportive husband and I can’t allow myself to forget that for longer than a minute or two here and there. (We’re all human, so of course taken the person we love for granted momentarily can and will happen.) I owe it to my husband, my marriage, and myself to be all I can truly be in my marriage and to beware of what I’m asking of the one I love and how that compares to my own actions.

Just some real talk for today. Ladies, are you giving as much as you expect within your marriage? It’s not a bad question to ask, really. Curious what you have to say about this one.
Bye for now girls!

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8 Responses to Question: Are You Giving Your Husband What You Expect From Him?

  1. Tiffany says:

    You are so right! I always try to stop & think before I start complaining about something he has or hasn't done. Thinking before speaking saves a lot of arguments!
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  2. integratedmemoirs says:

    I need to keep this post in mind for the future…thanks!
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  3. Laura says:

    I have to say my husband is very guilty of this…he is so concerned with "dictating" tasks to me that he neglects (and very often takes for granted) everything that I am constantly doing for him. It is frustrating for sure but I think in marriages one person often ends up being the nag.

  4. Thank, Q says:

    I feel funny for commenting since this appears to be addressing women only. LOL! I think it's great that you realize that it does take two. So many people enjoy pointing the finger and don't realize that they're not giving their all either. Great post.
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  5. Alexa Perez says:

    I think I am but I am not sure what my husband would tell me if I will him about that. This post of yours really has the sense to read. Very helpful for me. Thanks!
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