New Study Says Less Americans Marry But Those Who Do Stay Married (Thoughts?)

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marriage game over divorce rateIt sure does pay to get your facts right! Until I read this article on ABCNews.com I was still 100 percent under the impression that the majority of marriages end in divorce and that the divorce right in our country was steadily climbing. Well, as a recent report from the U.S. Census Bureau reports, fewer Americans get married these days, but divorce is becoming less common. That’s a nice thought, isn’t it?

“Despite the perception that divorce is common place, most Americans marry once and make it work,” the article states. The report reveals that seventy-seven percent of couples married since 1990 reached their 10-year anniversaries, which is an increase from the number who made the mark in the 1980s, when the divorce rate in America was at its highest. It also says that couples who get married in their mid twenties or later are less likely to get divorced and that nowadays there’s more of a “soul mate model” for marriage. That doesn’t surprise me, I married my soul mate at 28 and I have the utmost confidence that waiting the eight years we did to tie the knot only furthers our chances of success. That being said, the fact that less Americans are choosing to get married does. The article doesn’t go into why this may be but if I had to guess I would say it’s because of fears grown from ill-informed information. That and the lack of positive marriage role models out there. I at one point in our relationship feared the idea of marriage because of all the divorces I see and hear about and the stories other women have shared with me. The idea of starting a marriage so many experts have said in the past might be statistically destined to fail could shake anyone – even someone madly in love.

Why did you choose marriage? How old were you when you said “I do”? What are your thoughts on divorce as a whole ladies? Just curious…

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28 Responses to New Study Says Less Americans Marry But Those Who Do Stay Married (Thoughts?)

  1. KAT says:

    Funny, I just had this conversation on past Friday; "why people aren't getting divorced." Simple economics…in this day and time, it truly is cheaper to keep her or him! A lot of couples have amassed so much debt in the quest for keeping up with the Joneses, that many of them can't afford to split. If you factor in the bad economy, constant rising prices of everything under the sun, unemployment and exorbitant rent, who can afford to leave. So the adage made famous by Tina…"what's love got to do with it?" rings true.

    • ManWifeDog says:

      Economics is certainly a factor to consider. I agree. There are quite a few people I know right now who are married and miserable but feel that they would be totally f*cked if they got a divorce right now. We have the recession to thank for a lot of this. The thought that someone could be stuck in a bad marriage because of money woes makes me sad, but sadly, it's true for so many. Good point!

  2. Jess says:

    I chose marriage because I wanted to be his wife. I've always felt that husband and wife share a different sort of bond than boyfriend and girlfriend or even fiances. And since I've been married for about 4 months now, I've learned that I was right. Our bond is stronger than ever. Being his wife has made me appreciate things about him even more than I had. I feel a strong sense of responsibility toward him because it's officially our life and we're in it together for better or worse.
    I'm torn about divorce. If you're in an abusive relationship (menal, physical, etc) or an unfaithful one I'd say divorce is the best option. But if it's a relationship that started with love and ended in divorce because one or both were too lazy, too busy, too stubborn, too anything that hindered the growth of their marriage than shame on them.

    • ManWifeDog says:

      I agree! (Congrats newlyweds!) We would always tell people that we're getting married because ultimately when we call each other our "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" it sounded like it wasn't enough. Like the words didn't hold enough meaning. We just need more. We needed to say that we were husband and wife because what we felt was so much stronger than boyfriend and girlfriend.

  3. nylse says:

    I'll share because I'm tired of hearing all the negative talk around marriage.
    I didnt choose marriage – marriage chose me. I'm guessing God was preparing me for mr. right all along, because when he showed up, I was ready. I was engaged for a year and got married at the ripe old age of 22. We talked alot about divorce when we were dating because he was still reeling from effects of his parent's divorce…i mean he was in pain. i always knew divorce wasn't an option but after experiencing it through him, its not a road i would want to go down. to be honest, when i've said it in jest (sick sense of humor) i don't really mean it. After 22 years we're in a good place – we like each other. and even when we had arguments, etc…all of my friends thought we were abnormal, because our disagreements weren't as bad as theirs. God is good!
    My recent post A Chapter a Day – Proverbs 23

    • ManWifeDog says:

      I could not agree more! Before I even knew how I felt about marriage for sure I knew that The Man was meant for me and I was meant for him. I just felt it in my core. When you know, you know

  4. Jessica@Foun says:

    Perhaps the statistics for staying married are better because it is more widely accepted now to not marry – so those people who are not interested in staying committed have chosen not to do so.

  5. Mrs_Mommy_MD says:

    My husband has that picture on a T-Shirt… my face: -____-

    We did things a bit out of order (marrying when our son was 1), but we got married because we loved each other and knew that we didn't want to be with anyone else… I was 22 and he was 25. Honestly, neither one of us grew up with good examples of marriage in our lives, but we agree that we want better than that for ourselves and our children – divorce isn't an option and we are determined to work at it…
    My recent post Weekend Re-Cap

    • ManWifeDog says:

      Ha! I almost bought a shirt like this for my husband too but right before the wedding he made one too many jokes about "being locked down for life" so I didn't want to feed the fire. Your family is beautiful. Screw the order of things you guys are some of my marriage role models from what I read. ; – )

      • Mrs_Mommy_MD says:

        Thanks boo :-) Haha, I must admit that we definitely would have saved out relationship lots of drama if we had done some things differently, but I thank God for being so awesome, and turning our mess into something beautiful, because lemme tell you, circa 2008 was nothing to blog about – unless I wanted a big male-bashing pity party…LOL

  6. NYStateofMom says:

    I too didn't have a lot of positive marriages around to look up to but I saw, oddly enough TONS of couples who lived together, had kids together that made it work just GREAT lol. I believed in marriage, still do, and that unity that is needed to raise a family while I didn't know all the WORK it needed I still want to make it work no matter what. I was 23 and he was 24. I wish we could all get that 'no matter what' mentality our grandparents lived with
    My recent post I Almost Clicked the Button

    • ManWifeDog says:

      I agree. I think in life it's so important to try something you believe you can succeed at. Marriage especially. I think it's too easy to just say that because you've never seen it work you shouldn't attempt it. Kudos to you guys!

  7. Kim says:

    I have one divorce under my belt…and not by choice. My ex-husband and I took 6.5 years to get married and within 7-8 months he went from "I do" to "I don't". Admittedly though, with all the strains we had and lack of compatibility (which I was too blind to see) we should have never said, "I do" in the first place. We officially split September '08 after a 1 year marriage and our divorce finalized in April '09.

    I wanted to be one of those women who got married once and only once. I have watched my parents marriage disintegrate and seen them re-marry. I didn't want to be like my mom who is on marriage #3 (will be 15 years and counting this July) or like my dad who is on marriage #6 (my mom was marriage #4) and happened to re-marry his 1st wife after 40 years of separation.

    My husband's parents have been married for 45 years as of this September. Not always the best marriage from an outsider's point of view but they've made it work all these years.

    This time around my husband tells me that the only way I will allowed out of this marriage is if one or both of us is 6 feet under. I have the utmost respect for him hearing that because he shows every day that even when the poop hits the fan, he's not going anywhere. I still have a lot of insecurities to work through and tend to want to run when it does hit but I am slowly getting better.

    You know what makes so much of this so twisted? I was a month shy of 27 the first time around marrying a man 13 years my senior. I swore I'd never do that again and sure enough, when hubs and I got together he happened to ALSO be 13 years my senior. We married only 18 days shy of my 30th birthday. Life is funny isn't it?
    My recent post Comment Moderation and CAPTCHA – Yay- nay- or WTF!

    • ManWifeDog says:

      I think it's SUPER brave of you to get out of bad marriage and be willing to get into a good one. I hate when people say, "I was married once before and it was awful so I will never do it again." (yes Halle Barry I'm taking to you!ha!) If you fall off a bike do you just not get back on? NO! I think it's taking the easy way out personally, so I commend you for going after what matters most — your happiness!

      • Kim says:

        Leetle secret: I was actually scared s**tless of saying a "I do" a second time. However, when hubs asked me to move in with him I made it abundantly clear it would not be a "Why by the cow when you can get the milk for free?" deal. If he wanted me to move in then he had better have commitment and long-term on his mind. Even though things were still new with us he already had it in his mind I was the right woman for him. We got some serious flak for getting engaged within 3 months but people see how well we work out now and realize it is in fact the perfect match.

  8. simplykita says:

    I posted this one on my blog a couple of weeks ago. I married at 22 the hubby was 26 and we were not ready for marriage at all. We had a lot to learn because we never saw a good example of a good marriage(and still don't) we have been to couples therapy, talked with others, and have attempted to get a divorce 3 times. And all that happened in 2 yrs lol. We have grown from that and try to surround ourselves with positive couples but it's hard no one told us how hard it was. I think everyone is different and some people are just not cut out for marriage.
    My recent post Throwing out a biz idea

    • ManWifeDog says:

      I am such an advocate of couple's therapy. We haven't been yet (but plan to go) and I know a lot of couples who've benefited from it. That being sad, I agree marriage is certainly not for everyone. I just hate to think that the people who would enjoy marriage fear it for reasons they shouldn't. I believe there are some of them out there. Thanks for the religious comment love! It means so much!

  9. TheProDiva says:

    Well……this is quite encouraging!
    My recent post Work It Out!!!

  10. myloverswife says:

    I married at 36 because I found my best friend and I didn't want to live without him. I think that people get divorced because they have an unrealistic idea of what it means to be married. Once they’re married they discover that it’s not the same as dating or even living together. When you’re married you have to make all your decisions with regard to how they will affect your spouse…many people can’t handle that kind of responsibility.

    • ManWifeDog says:

      I agree. It's so so so important to really understand what a marriage is and should be in order to decided it's a journey you want to embark on. I've heard premarital counseling helps. I wanted us to do it before the wedding but we got so busy we never did. I honestly don't think it would hurt to try it even now. You can never be too prepared, right?

  11. I got married at 25 and sometimes I remind my husband that women marry their first husbands for love, and their second for money. He gets the point. One thing we don't discuss is divorce. It's not on the table. Very rarely do our arguments get to the point of us wanting to damage with our words. But, on the occasion that it does, divorce is STILL not on the table. It's just not an option. Go outside, smoke a cigarette, eat a twinkie, watch a movie, take a crap, throw a sofa cushion, whatever…but divorce is NOT an option. Forcing each other to deal with the issue at hand has helped us to grow.

  12. Tiffany says:

    I got married because we didnt want to be with anyone else. The next step just naturally seemed to say this before God. My actual marriage was sort of spontaneous but we knew we were going to get married at some point. We waited 4 yrs to get married and Im happy we did. It gave us time to build a very solid friendship. I was 21 and he was 23. Smtms its so easy for ppl to bring up divorce as an option. But we've vowed to each other that the idea of "divorce" will not exist for us. So now when people bring it up, I always say "Divorce?! I dont even know what that is. lol. Success is our only option."
    My recent post Flashback- Date Night!

  13. Shanea says:

    Well I got married for a lot of reasons. I always viewed marriage as the ultimate commitment and what I should do once I was ready to be a committed partner and a Momma. I am lucky in the sense that my grandparents (who recently celebrated 65 years together) and my parents were examples that marriage is not just glamour, it is work supported by a lot of prayer.
    I wanted to be married, my husband who did not have any examples of successful relationships did not really see the need. Luckily, we had a long friendship and romance to alter his opinion :) But I will say that staying married is the work. I have to work to speak to him the right way, honor his needs/wishes and still manage to be loving etc. I think he is doing the same kind of work too.
    I got married at 32 and we have been married for 4 ys.

  14. Thank, Q says:

    I was 30. I got married because I was ready for the next stage in life. A man never gets over looking at women, but he does get tired of chasing them. After all, there is no such thing as "the perfect woman," but I did find one perfect for me. Statistics have rarely applied to me, so the high divorce rate was never a deterrent. As a black man, I've never been to jail (I beat those odds). I finished college (I'm 2-for-2). No children out of wedlock (I'm on fire)! Forget the stats. The only numbers that matter are 1+1 which represents me and The Mrs. So, marriage, to me, is what you make it. It can be the most entertaining partnership since Ricky and Lucy Ricardo or the worst since Al and Peg Bundy. It's up to you which one it will be.
    My recent post Women Just Cant Win

  15. Perhaps the statistics for staying married are better because it is more widely accepted now to not marry – so those people who are not interested in staying committed have chosen not to do so.

  16. Aw, this was a truly nice post. In thought I would like to put in writing like this in addition – taking time and actual effort to make a extremely fantastic article?- but what can I say?- I procrastinate alot and by no indicates seem to obtain some thing completed.

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