Q: Do You Have Marriage Role Models? (Couple Crush Alert!)

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michelle and barack obama photos fist bump

It’s a great question and I can’t really take credit for asking it. I read it over on Jezebel in an article about the demise of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver‘s marriage. (I was a little shocked too — they did survive the Terminator movies, all the late night TV accent jokes, and his time as Governor.) But it’s such a good one I just have to answer and ask around. (You know me!) Do you have marriage role models? Who are they?

I had to ponder on this one for awhile but the first couples that came to mind were Michelle and Barack Obama (of course!) and Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Ari Parker. I have a couple crush on both pairs – like high school doodle in notebook style crush – and I’m proud of that. The Obamas are strong and focused together. They make the ultimate power team and they get the job done (they live in the White House, hello!) with a smile and a fist bump. I love that they’re playful and obviously so in love, yet their relationship always appears rock solid and invincible to life’s bullshit. I want The Man and I to be able to set goals together, achieve them together, and then celebrate in that pride and bliss together. Not saying we don’t have a little of that power couple mojo going on already, but ultimately we could work on our teamwork in our marriage. Mainly as it pertains to building our empire and furthering our joint successes and our wealth. Put simply, if Michelle and Barack can plot to make it to the White House master bedroom I know The Man and I can start at least one of the business ideas we always throw around together. Ambition is a turn on, and clearly The Obamas keep the passion alive in their marriage. What’s not to love? (Add in the gorgeous and smart kids and the cute hypoallergenic dog and you’ve basically got our American Dream right there – minus the whole commander in chief/first lady piece.)

borise kodjoe and nicole ari parker family and kids

Now abut my obsession with the Kodjoes: I adore them for very different reasons, though equally appealing to my heart. We’ll just skip over the fact that they’re both drop dead gorge – we know that, now let’s move on to the good part. As a married team they’re masters of keeping their family life sane and private in Hollywood. That’s like a magician’s feat these days. Almost all press about them is good press and when they grace the covers of our favorite magazines with their cutie patootie kids wrapped in their arms and giant smiles plastered across their faces you can open the pages to read a tale of family and love that’s actually worthy of the spotlight they’re given. How many times do we see celebrity families on a cover and then read about their slow motion train wreck lives inside the pages? (Too often!) But not this family! While most a-list Hollywood spouses are out getting botox and free swag together these two are at home teaching their kids multiple languages and the arts and showing them that there’s a great life outside of the spotlight too. We’re not parents yet, but when we decide to have little humans I will be trying to channel the Kodjoes as we try our best to become star parents in our children’s eyes.

When The Man and I grow up we want to kick ass and take names like The Obamas and fill our family with pure love and happiness like The Kodjoes! What I find most fascinating (and almost simultaneously sad) about all of this however is that I didn’t think of my parents here, and when I asked The Man who his role models were his response was: “Um…I don’t really have any. Okay, my parents, I guess.” In a perfect world we should all want to grow up to be just like our parents, but better, right? But when it comes to relationships they don’t always lead by example and we won’t always want to follow. In fact, many times we’ll want just the opposite of what we saw marriage as growing up. I strive to always have the love and honesty my mother and father shared but there were some dynamics in their marriage I’m certain I can do without and I work very hard to avoid in my own today. I’ll stop here. But this question is thought provoking. Very curious what you all have to say.

Who are your marriage role models? Are they your parents? What is it about their marriage that makes you strive to make yours even better? Let’s talk couple crushes ladies!

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11 Responses to Q: Do You Have Marriage Role Models? (Couple Crush Alert!)

  1. alovelydai says:

    LOL @ Arnold & Maria surviving the Terminator movies!!!!

    This IS a great question and sadly I don't have a real answer. Well maybe one of my best friends. She's been with her hubby for over 15 yrs, they have 4… count 'em FOUR kids and they still love each other deeply.

    This was her FB update this am: "What a Beautiful morning !!! Gettin' up ready to run some errands, then have some breakfast with my hubby!!! I'm n the mood for LOVE."

    How sweet right? I guess I just want to feel like her many years later!!
    My recent post Gadget Man Strikes Again!

  2. Chanda Renee says:

    My two fav couples as well! Add Will & Jada and Bey & J – Top 4 :)

  3. President Barack and First Lady Michelle Obama, Will and Jada Smith, Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee are a few of our marriage role models/couple crushes. Great post! Inmay come back and add more couples as they come to mind!

  4. Jess says:

    I like Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy. May sound like an odd choice to some, but I love their funny dynamic. My husband and I have a very loving and often time sarcastic tone to our relationship. We're both very strong personalities and I guess sometimes it makes it easier to deal with that with some innocent, playful teasing (always sure to never cross a line or offend). The Frankel/Hoppy relationship shows a lot of support for one another and thats how I want my marriage. Full of love, support, & humor. :)

  5. ames says:

    My grandparents are my relationship role model. I have blogged about this. They married young, struggled a bit, built a few businesses and left an inheritance that their great grandchildren get to benefit from. They had fun and a good life.

    My husband and I have a business together and we’re pretty much copying their blueprint. My grandparents and his parents handled finances the same way and we copy that as well.

    My couple crush would be Lela Rochon and Antoine Fuqua. I like that she seems to have submeged herself in the wife/mother role. I think Holly Robinson Peete and Rodney Peete are fun to see together. They seem to have real day to day, unHollywood marriages.

  6. Quincy says:

    Wow. Come to think of it, I don't have one. It wasn't my parents because I'm totally opposite of them. It wasn't anyone on TV because I was busy chasing women and missed quite a few seasons of the Cosby Show back then. I guess I kind of just did it on my own. I never really thought about it until your post.
    My recent post The Real Blogger Shores Amazing Undercover Idol – Part III

  7. Untypically Jia says:

    Hell, I can't really think of anyone that I really admire in regards to their marriage. I've found that I need to just admire my own marriage because everyone else always turns out to be a let down in one way or another (especially celebrities in my opinion.)

    I used to admire my older sisters marriage. They were the perfect couple. Perfect wedding. Perfect marriage. Perfect jobs and house and three perfect babies to go with it all. Over ten years in she finally confessed to the family that he had been abusive (of many different natures) for at least six of the ten years.

    So now I just try to admire my own marriage, or at the very least, BE the role model marriage for others.
    My recent post Once Upon a Time

  8. Alexis says:

    Well my real life crushes are my mom and dad. 34 years and counting! Then of course will and jada omg I love them well except for the possible swinger rumors lol but I think they have a very decent relationship w/ the mother of his child which I so envy :-( lol but I so love the black love from the obamas. But most of u and GW are the cutest love u guys

  9. Fantastic question! My parents were in a weird way. Not because of how great their marriage was, but because of how awful it was. And how bad they were at it. I was determined to be different. I've been with my man since I was 15. We're celebrating 25 years total together this month. Hmmm…you just gave me an idea for a post on my blog. THANKS!

  10. {JeLisa} @ Blogging Ever After says:

    "I was a little shocked too — they did survive the Terminator movies, all the late night TV accent jokes, and his time as Governor." <— HA! Lol!

    My celeb couple crushes:
    - Heidi Klum and Seal
    - Grant Hill and Tamia
    - Will and Jada
    My recent post So much has changed

  11. myloverswife says:

    My marriage role models are my parents. They've been married for 35 years and while I know that all of those years weren't a bed of roses, they've made it work. I also look up to the marriage that I believe that the Obama's have. I particularly look up to Michele Obama because she's not lost her sense of her own success. It's hard to be a successful career minded woman and a wife. It really takes two different skill sets and she seems to have mastered them both.
    My recent post The three C’s- the keys to a happy marriage

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