Last week’s assignment was all about making time to share a special moment together, particularly a special first for one of you. This week I’m challenging you to do the complete opposite. Stay away from each other, really!
When you’re in love the emphasis most often is on being together whenever and however possible. Once you’re married you share your home together, making it even more likely that your spouse is by your side. As sweet as all the togetherness can be, the truth is everyone needs their space – especially married couples. You’ve got stuff you wanna do and your husband has a similar list all his own. This is where the beauty of coexisting comes into play. It’s an art for married couples and one that should most certainly be perfected if there is to truly be peace within your home. Coexisting is ultimately how married couples can be together, yet still have their own space. So, this week, I challenge you to practice the art of coexisting together. It’s the evening and you’re both just getting settled in from work. Maybe you want to just relax and do your nails and he wants to watch one of those movies you can’t stomach on your sole TV. Why not do both? Practice spending time together without doing something together. Maybe this is a regular occurrence in your marriage, or maybe it’s something you could both use more of – either way, give it go and write about why it did or didn’t work out. Did you wind up distracting each other so much that neither of you got your own thing done? Did you almost forget the other person was there? Was it peaceful? I wanna hear all about it! Happy coexisting!
I have the NBA playoffs to thank for making this assignment very, very easy for us this week. Although it’s not uncommon for me to completely lose The Man’s attention when such “important” games are on TV, this last week was the first time I decided to just get into my own groove instead of trying to compete with Kobe Bryant. (A challenge I was clearly unworthy of even taking on.) In the past I might have tried to talk to my husband during time outs, half time, or those super brief commercial breaks, but this time I said screw all that. While commuting home from work I had made a little list of things I wanted to accomplish when I got home in the evenings (like: finish the book I’d been “reading” for three weeks, dig out spring clothes from storage, or return my aunt’s phone call) and this time rather than pretend I give a crap whether the Lakes get swept I planned to actually check a couple of them off.
Now The Man was totally loving the idea, obviously since the playoffs were on. (Any other night he’d be talking my ear off while I tried to curl up next to him and blog on my laptop.) So I got home and announced that I would in fact not be pretending to give a damn about who was up or who just scored and would instead be up to my own things for the evening. Like any selfish husband would, he of course immediately asks, “will you be in the living room with me for a little while?” Really, dude? So you can say “huh” repeatedly until the play is over in an effort to hold off answering until you wouldn’t miss any action? Normally, I would have probably told him no way and headed off to our bedroom, but that wouldn’t really be coexisting now would it? So alas I set up my little me station on the couch next to him while he was 100 percent glued to the game.
For two nights in row we sat there side by side, doing us, individually. Sometimes an entire hour would go by and the only interaction we shared was a smile at one another when we both realized we’d looked over each other at the same time. He didn’t ask me who I was talking to on the phone or what I was writing about and I didn’t ask him who just got fouled. Instead we just enjoyed our own little me time moments without actually having to be alone at all. I for one accomplished a lot more in the few hours I have between the time I get home and the time I need to go to bed, and I think he genuinely enjoyed uninterrupted sports viewing without feeling guilty of being a neglectful and selfish husband. Perhaps the highlight of the whole coexisting experiment was when the game ended and he turned and said to me, “is it okay to talk to you now?” Ha! I’d never said there was a “no talking” rule, but obviously we’d done such a good job of giving each other space he thought there was one. Classic us!
Looking forward to reading how the space works for you. Don’t forget to join in the party any time this week and share those links ladies!”
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