We had so much fun last week dedicating songs to our husbands — thanks so much to all the participants in last week’s homework! Now, on to this week’s matters of the heart:
There’s always an element of excitement involved when you do something for the first time – especially when you do it together. Is there something you or your husband have never done before and always wanted to that you could do together? Now I’m not talking about bungee jumping here – hey, if you have the time and the means to go out and do that this week more power to you – but rather the smaller things that you keep saying you “should do” or “want to do” but just haven’t. There really is a first time for everything, especially when it comes to love. Sit down together and have a conversation about a few things you’ve wanted to try or do lately and see if there’s a way you can share the “first” together. Remember you don’t have to over think this or make it too difficult. Think: Going to an oxygen bar, renting a bike and taking a ride through a nearby park, or maybe facing a fear. Try to plan a time to do this “thing” together. It could be a first for you, or him, or for you both – doesn’t matter just plan to do it. What was it like experiencing something this first together? Did it make the moment that much more special? Was it memorable? Did it turn out to be a total bust or a disaster? Share the “first”, how it went, and the emotions that were involved. (Note: If you’ve already shared a first recently, just blog about that. Star pupils who stay ahead of the class are always welcome here!)
Although my husband and I do have so much in common with each other there are still things we’re opposite on. Up until recently, going to church was one of them. Without getting too much into our personal religions here I’ll say this: I grew up with church having a presence in my life and he did not. Though we share a belief in God we’ve never been in agreement on how one should go about praising him. It was never a deal breaker within our relationship, just something we didn’t always see eye to eye on. The important thing is we’ve always respected each others wishes on this subject and agreed to disagree at times – until Easter. My husband had never stepped foot in a church (not even at our wedding because we got married outside) and after thinking about how wonderful and inspired I’ve always felt after a service (not that I go as much as I should) I felt like there was no way I wasn’t bringing him with me for Easter. So I asked him to give me the honor of sharing his first church experience with me, his new wife, and to my surprise he wasn’t resistant at all. His answer: “Sure, why not. Do I need to go shopping for a fancy Easter suit?” Ha! I told him to come in whatever he felt comfortable in and to only stay if he was enjoying himself. He said we had a deal and the night before I ironed and laid out his clothes to be sure we would get the next day started on the right foot.
On Easter morning he tried to pretend he didn’t hear the alarm clock but I drug him out of bed just the same. He cracked a few jokes about hats and crazy suits when we got there but once he sat down and heard the music I saw a different kind of smile on his face. I held his hand tightly as we sat together in the back, where he said he’d feel most comfortable. The music was amazing and as I sang along and clapped my hands I noticed he still had a tight hold on mine. I looked over at him and smiled. Aww! He was a little nervous, very curious, and seemingly excited overall. Back when I decided to talk him into going I really had no clue what his reaction would be to any of it, so it really felt good to see him just taking it all in and seemingly so at peace with his decision to take me up on my offer to receive a blessing – whether he felt he needed it or not.
You see, The Man is always making jokes, so the fact that he didn’t crack a single one that whole service is a miracle in itself. And perhaps the second miracle that happened that day occurred in the parking lot when we were getting in the car. I chose not to say anything and to wait for his honest and untainted reaction first. As he took off his hat and hopped behind the wheel he turned and said to me: “That wasn’t so bad babe. I feel good. I could go back sometime. Will the music always be that good?” I laughed out loud and smiled back at him and said, “Yes it will, and yes we will. I’m proud of you for trying something new with me – real proud.”
On the way home we talked about the message in the sermon and what he most got out of it and how it could apply to our new marriage. Since I didn’t really expect him to even be receptive to it all imagine my surprise when he turned and said to me: “If Jesus died for our sins, the least I could do for you is remember to pick my pants up off the floor.” And there you have it, our “first” Easter church service together and a truly authentic Man and Wife moment. The brunch and the day that followed was one of the happier ones we’ve had all month!
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