Our good friends Summer and Matt (who recently moved here!) have been getting quite their daily dose of newlyweds hanging with us. So much so, in fact, that Summer (who’s not only my dear friend but also a fabulous writer) decided to write about their experiences with us and drop by Man Wife and Dog. This is hilarious and honest and I couldn’t wait to share. Give it a read and don’t forget to leave her some comment love!
It’s wonderful when you have great friends like Charli and Gibran (AKA The Wife and The Man). Not only did they scope out a new apartment for me after I decided to come back to the East Coast, they’ve helped me move in, taken me shopping a gazillion times, AND made it a point to give me key insights about my new neighborhood that I would have missed (like which grocery stores to avoid, where to find the closest Target, and how to get cheap furniture that doesn’t look, well cheap). But what they didn’t prepare me for is what it means to be a passenger in their marriage on a weekly basis.
You see, you gain a certain perspective when you’re that single person who (literally) climbs into the backseat of the car and follows what appears to be a day in the life of an average newlywed couple. Oh sure, it’s all hearts and roses before the key goes into the ignition, but after that? All bets are off. For example, both me and my guy learned this last weekend when we all decided (yet another) trip to IKEA was required. Mind you, Charli is still in the throes of a full-on apartment makeover (see the pics here) whereas I’d just be happy to have a place to put my clothes that isn’t a plastic bin. As you all know, C and G have an ongoing battle over who’s a better driver, and it didn’t take very long for this topic to come up.
“Baby, you need to get over,” Gibran began, his eyes narrowed as the exit sign for IKEA loomed ahead.
“I am!” Charli chirped with irritation, her hands clenching the steering wheel as she continued her verbal tour in one big breathy rush.
“So Sums (that’s me), this is the mall I told you about. It’s got EVERYTHING – Nordstrom, Anthropologie, Sephora -“
“I gots! Do YOU want to drive? ‘Cuz I can pull over right now if you want me to.”
“Just honk your horn and get over already!”
It sounds a lot worse than it is (keep in mind Charli and Gibran are really funny – kinda like Dionne and Murray from Clueless minus the valley girl accents), but it just illustrates the constant jib, jabs, and “gentle” corrections most couples lob at each other daily. On the outside it looks like they’re fighting, but when you’re part of the inner circle and REALLY listen, it actually translates into something that sounds like this.
“Darling wife, I acknowledge you’re a better driver, but you’re really distracted right now so I want to help you.”
“Yes dear, I know. But we have guests in the car and I need to be a good host.”
“OK sweetheart, I hear what you’re saying, but still…”
“Trust me, honey. I’m on it.”
“OK love, I know you got this.”
My point? I don’t think you need to be part of the “I do” crowd to recognize the REAL language of love. For all the pitfalls and pot holes on the road to happiness, we all take shortcuts and illegal u-turns to make it work. In Charli and Gibran’s case, it involves a lot of honking, hollering, and huffing and puffing at New Jersey traffic to get to the heart of the matter: You might not always be in the driver’s seat with your husband or wife, but marriage is one helluva ride.