Q: Should You Go To A Club With Your Husband?

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Couple flirting at night club

Got another question from a fan of the blog today (via text!) and it’s a good one! They we’re curious if I’d post about whether or not I think it’ s a good idea to go out to nightclubs with your husband. I’m going to get right to the point here: No, it’s definitely not a good idea. It’s a nice idea (you two, a dance floor, good music, drinks flowing…) but for us it has proven to be very problematic, so these days we shy away from hitting the nightclub scene together. Mostly for two (very good) reasons:

1. You can’t control what other people do when they’re intoxicated. You two may be going out for the evening with plans to be on your best behavior, but let’s be honest here, single people don’t have the same good intentions when they’re headed to a nightclub. Ring or no ring, chances are a very drunk guy will approach me while my husband’s taking a bathroom break or getting another drink. He will want to dance or get my phone number, but he won’t be happy to hear that I’m not alone. If he’s smart, he’ll keep stepping. But if he’s had one too many drinks he may push the issue and linger just long enough to be there when the hubs returns. Um…awkward! The Man does his best, but he’ll admit any day that although he’s confident in our relationship and the love and trust we share, he can (and will) still get a little jealous. And God forbid he’s had a few drinks also. This, my friends, is what you call an instant recipe for disaster!

2. In a way, you’re sort of entrapping single people who are out on the hunt. Seriously, it’s entrapment! Just like when a cop poses as a john to nail a prostitute. Until a single man or woman can get a good look at your wedding ring, from their vantage point over across the room all they see is an attractive person who sparks their interest whom they might want to get to know. It’s truth, people. Single or attached, when you go out you usually try to look hot. It’s human nature. So if you’re standing there looking hot or dancing (and looking hot!) you’re being a tease. Yes, I said it. You’re teasing the single people in the room who have no idea that if they come any closer they’ll be shut down, and a little embarrassed too. When you think about it, it really is sort of a messed up thing to do.

So there you have it. The reason The Man and I would rather attend a get together at a friend’s house or go to a comedy show than to step out to a DJ enthused nightclub on a Saturday night is because it’s just not worth the inevitable drama. Still want to get your groove (or drink) on together? Here’s your solution: Pick a lounge or hotspot that’s not known for being a single’s pickup parlor and has a more mature “I just got off work and could really use a drinkl” kind of crowd, rather than the “I hope I get lucky tonight” crowd. It’s a safer bet, hands down.
Can you relate? If so, share please!

photo: iStockphoto

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14 Responses to Q: Should You Go To A Club With Your Husband?

  1. Ida says:

    You def have to make sure you go where "everybody knows your name"! As much as we don't like that, it's a common hotspot that you know you and yours can have a great time. My hubby and I met at a club and we have no intentions on going back to "that club"! NOW let's not get Vegas confused with our local clubs because I am def taking my hubby out with me and vis versa if you know what I mean…must keep a tight leash…Oh boy I might have opened a can of no-no's! Lol!

  2. alovelydai says:

    Very true. We like to go to lounges now.

  3. Lucky says:

    I'm one of those single people who will holla unless I see a ring. So unless you keep your hand to your face all night, I would have little idea that you were married.

  4. Petey Wheatstraw says:

    I said it before and I'll say it again, after a few pops up in the "club" some folks don't care nothing about seeing a wedding ring!

  5. Penelope says:

    Agree…a place that combines alcohol and people on the hunt is no place for married people.

    ~Penelope (I love to write about beauty tips!)
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  6. Single Life 2 Married Wife says:

    I agree with Penelope. But sometimes a girl just wants to daaaaance!! LOL
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  7. fahmi says:

    I don't buy the entrapment argument. What's the difference if you are married and if you are in a long-term relationship? A boyfriend will get as jealous as a husband would- if not more, since he won't be as secure. The rules for what happens in a club don't just change because you are married

  8. Emmy says:

    Our solution was to take ballroom dance lessons and go to our local Elks Club on Friday nights. They play ballroom music and everyone is well-behaved and friendly. Since we are in our early 40s and most everyone else is our parent's age, they think it's so cute we are there and learning to dance… all very supportive and nice. It's a great way to make new friends and have fun.
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  9. Tiffany In Houston says:

    Disagee with you on this one, Charli. Though clubs aren't my speed so much anymore, if me and hubs wanted to go to the club..we're going. If someone is going to holla, they can certainly try and certainly get politely turned down. It's not off limits now that I am married

  10. theMRS. says:

    Ha ha! Adam and I have been talking about this. I really want to go out dancing and there just isnt really another way to do it, except at a club.

    Except we don't drink.
    Don't want to spent the night looking at other people.
    So when you really think about it, it sounds terrible.

    But there is something so sexy about dancing the night away with your man!

    My recent post I learn something new everyday- not because life is teaching me

  11. SuzRocks says:

    I find that when we go out to a bar/club, just the two of us it's just really hard to talk to each other. I'd rather just hand out at a low key place where it's quite obvious we're together. But I DO like to dance…. so I wouldn't NOT go to a club.

  12. Sonia says:

    Clubs were never my thing. I think I am just to jealous in some ways. If some girl even looked at my man wrong, I would probably be ready to kick some butt. Your right on point #1, so I would never put myself in that situation to begin with. We more outdoorsy and would rather be at home.
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  13. Married_NotDead says:

    I completely agree with you- I think if the couples really want to enjoy the dance floor – they should go at some place which is – most certainly – not their town- plus they should keep the drinks way too low. Not only singles are a threat- but I have seen people who bring in girl freinds are also on prowl for more- Married only night clubs are non-existant so – no chance there. I would suggest sip wine in a corner- have good sound system at home , invite close couple friends – and enjoy !

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