Dear Husband: I Confess, I Snooped Through Your Phone Last Night

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Dear Man,

I’m writing you this morning because I have a little confession to share. Ready for this one? I snooped through your phone last night while you were sleeping. In my defense, I wasn’t looking for anything to pick a fight over. I was just bored and awake and it was just sitting there calling out to me. (I actually opened it see if you had any good games.) I doubt you’ll be upset because as you know I rarely do that and you’ve always made a point of saying we keep no secrets in our house so all possessions are fair game. But I felt the need to confess just in case since honesty is our best policy. If it’s any consolation, I’m actually kind of glad I looked because I really smiled at what I found.

Almost every picture in your phone gallery was of me, or The Dog, or the three of us together. You even have some pictures in there that I hate but for some reason you just love. I also noticed that you save almost every text message I send you, even the not so special or bitchy ones. I even saw a text where you told your friend you “may” want to get together but you want to be sure and “check with the wife first” to make sure we don’t have plans you forgot about. So sweet, honey!

In that moment I learned that you can tell a whole lot about a man from his cell phone. Yours told me that your family is so important to you that you keep photographic reminders to look at in your phone. It told me that even when no one’s checking you’re always respectful of your wife. It told me that you don’t have time to read everything other people send to you but you never miss one of my messages. It even told me that you like this blog, because I saw that you’ve been telling people about it and asking them to vote for you in polls. (Hahaha – cheater!)

So there you have it. Feel free to peruse through mine next time you see I’ve left it in the kitchen. If you do, you’ll probably learn that I’m obsessed with pictures of you smiling or sleeping, you’re one of like three people I actually text or call back immediately, and I’m so determined for us to succeed I have his-and-her goal reminders in my phone. Okay, bye for now. Hope you have a wonderful and peaceful day. I love you!

XOXO,

Wife

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19 Responses to Dear Husband: I Confess, I Snooped Through Your Phone Last Night

  1. I love your raw honesty..very refreshing!!

  2. the MRS. says:

    Ha ha thats awesome. We shared a mobile phone until about 2 weeks ago. We didn't really need two at the time so we both had full access to everything.

    -Celina

    read about my thoughts on Facebook UNFRIENDING Here

  3. Stephanie says:

    You are too funny, I love this blog, can't get enough of it.:)

  4. I guess I have a slightly opposite viewpoint. I would be aggravated if my husband did that to my phone and I wouldn't do that to his. I guess it's a courtesy thing to me. I was older when I got married and had lived on my own for a long time so I value my personal space VERY much. I don't have anything to hide from my husband so if he wants to see my phone, I'd gladly hand it over but he needs to ask first.

    • ManWifeDog says:

      Tiffany, I hear you and I partially agree. Asking first is always the best policy. It's interesting because when I wrote this I wanted to be sure to make the point that I usually do ask, never really care to look anyway, and that I was actually just playing around with games/photos and not "snooping" for dirt because I totally trust my husband. On the flip-side, I don' think I'd care that he went in my phone as long as wasn't "looking" for something. I know as a culture we've made it a negative, but it's not always a bad thing is it?

  5. Ida says:

    Having a cell phone, with web/text access is SCARY in these days. If you're not a smart user, you may get carried away with some {ahem} adult flicks and forget that cell phones actually keep a history of the links you last accessed. It's worse than the actual computer internet and easy to access! Not speaking from experience, but to not use the word snoop, I ACCESS! Keeping things real, in check, and on point…every woman thinks about it so let' be real and not cloud over the fact that it's part of any relationship. Happy Charli you found exactly what you thought to find in the first place! I just looked at my hubby's and WORK might as well pay for our cell phone bill!

  6. Tiffany says:

    That's cute. When my hubby upgraded his iPhone, I went through the old one (just to see what being an iPhone owner is like lol) and found he had an entire folder full of my pics. *still blushing*

  7. The Man says:

    Uh huh you went in my phone and found nothing. I love you anyway we dont have secrets but what if your valentines day plans were in there? Get my point? On the other hand i get that you were bored and I DONT BELIEVE YOU WERE SNOOPING SO NO HARM DONE!

    LOVE,

    THE MAN.

  8. This was adorable. I giggled the whole way through! Lol.

  9. Elizabeth says:

    Love this post!

  10. Dan Savage, the brilliant advice columnist of Savage Love fame, is on your side on this:

    > A confession: I’ve looked through my boyfriend’s e-mail; I assume he’s looked
    > through mine. I’ve scrolled through his text messages; I assume he’s scrolled
    > through mine. Expecting your partner not to snoop is like expecting your partner
    > not to fart or fantasize about other people. It’s a nice thought, JB, but knowing
    > what we know about human nature—and knowing that we ourselves snoop, fart,
    > and fantasize about other people—it’s a little unrealistic.
    >
    > And I’m sorry, but when someone goes snooping and discovers that their partner is
    > doing sex work—or is secretly gay or is sleeping with or visiting lesbian-bondage-
    > themed nightclubs with Michael Steele—then the snooping is retroactively justified.

    But this is a rare instance where I completely disagree with him. I guess you’re on the fence yourself, since you framed this as a sort of apology/confession.

    I’m not sure how to justify my stance on this, other than that it just feels wrong.

  11. I love your raw honesty..very refreshing!!

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