How To Be A Bad-Ass Married Couple (And Other Thoughts On Breaking the Mold)

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British Marriage Ad Campaign

Yesterday I found this off-the-wall ad on Jezebel, one of my favorite pro-women blogs. Apparently across the pond the people of Britain are freaking out because “the number of British people marrying has dropped to its lowest level since 1862”, so they created an ad campaign that promotes marriage like it’s the hard-core thing and rebellious thing to do. Over at Jezebel their take was that marketing marriage is “bizarre”, and I do agree. But, I think once you do get married (for the right reasons, not because you saw it on an ad!) there’s nothing wrong with being a bad-ass married couple.

Remember when I blogged about how The Man and I are so not The Huxtables, well I’d like to think that by not always playing by the typical rules of marriage that makes us kind of bas-ass, right? If we’re happy and kind to other, what’s so wrong with that? They say rules were made to be broken, right? So why shouldn’t those on marriage apply? When you think about it, being a “bad-ass” couple can be a good thing. As evidence I present The Man and Wife’s Guide to Being a Bad-Ass Married Couple.

Rule #1

Don’t hold your tongues! Be honest (even if painfully so) with each other and your in-laws always. Sometimes the politically correct thing to do is stay quiet or sugar coat how you feel, but we found that usually just causes more problems at home. We make no secret of the fact that communication is the foundation of our marriage, and when you pair it with honesty it can be really freeing. You’re going to hurt some feeling, and that’s unfortunate, but keeping your feelings bottled in will only hurt you later.

Rule #2

Express your love how you see fit! You’re married to each other not to the people who might be judging you. The Man and I have been planning to get matching ring finger tattoos with our wedding date since we tied the knot. We get a lot of strange looks when we mention that’s in our plans, but do you think we care? “What if you regret it?”, they say. We meant every vow we made to each other that day so I don’t think we could ever regret that moment.

Rule #3

Take a vacation you can’t afford, at least once! Yes, paying all your bills on time and saving money is the right (and smartest) thing to do. I’m not denying that. But honestly if that’s all you ever do your marriage might end up being sort of a snore. I’m not going to lie, our saving skills are sub par at best, but our scrapbook and minds are filled with some truly unforgettable and awesome vacation memories that wouldn’t have made the imprint on our relationship that they did if we hadn’t just opened our minds (and wallets) to the possibilities of the moment. Just sayin’…think about it.

Rule #4

Don’t worry about disturbing the neighbors, or offending someone with a little PDA! You won’t fall under the “young and madly In love” category forever, so why should you hold back now? As you’ve heard already, The Man and I can get pretty loud on weekends when we’re playing video games together or performing tipsy karaoke. We could care that we’re waking the neighbors, but why? We’re pretty decent people to have living next door. We don’t have wild parties on weeknights or leave stinky trash bags outside to rot. We’re even polite in passing when we see them. And the same goes for mild PDA. Is my giving my husband a kiss while we wait in line for movie really harming the people behind us? Should we have less fun because they’re not having any? Disclaimer: I would feel very differently about the neighbor thing if they had small children. Obviously that’s a game changer –we love the kids!

Rule #5

If you’re not enjoying yourselves, leave! When it comes to attending another friend or couples’ party or get-together, if you’re not having a good time don’t stay long. We used to feel bad dipping out early on friend’s functions, but the truth is, when you’re married and busy you don’t often get a lot of quality time to be together. Then these events always happen to fall on the one night you did have to cozy up to one another and you’re supposed to give it all up and be miserable? Pass! It’s okay to sneak away if it means getting to steal back a few moments with each other.
Got a bad-ass couple’s mantra to share? Post it below. You know I wanna hear it!

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13 Responses to How To Be A Bad-Ass Married Couple (And Other Thoughts On Breaking the Mold)

  1. Suzan Glezman says:

    Great 5!!!!! Can I add….honesty,honesty,honesty….modern women should be able to handle and give honesty…..

  2. Ida says:

    This comment may not be suitable for all readers FYI:

    Sex is SO IMPORTANT! {to put it bluntly like my fellow Brit's}!

    You have to reconnent your sex life {during your journey in marriage}. Your mind will be driven to now have sex, so why not just DO IT and have more of it.

    My Mantra with all this is that you can't just turn it on when it's time to go to bed…build upon it throughout the day. I vow not to spend more time on my blog and more time 'walking the talk' with my hubby!

    Great post!

    • Ida says:

      edit: *Your mind will be driven NOT to have sex.

    • ManWifeDog says:

      HAHAHA! Go ahead and be blunt girly. I love it! SO true! Glad you read between the lines on the whole "don't be afraid to wake the neighbors" thing…lol! Hey, it's true. Live in the moment and always work on growing the love and the passion is what i say! = )

      • locita says:

        Living in the moment can be scary for some.but urge you to do so. It can be so wonderful and rewarding

  3. Alexis says:

    Im so down with becoming a" bad ass" married couple. Lol. Wishful thinking but no seriously one thing we always pride ourselves with is being friends first. Which I think helps us get through some of the things we have to go through. But rule# 1 uhm kind of hard to always speak ur mind about families only u never want to ruin the relationship u have with or the one ur trying to build.

  4. Tiffany says:

    I just mentioned you on my blog. Check it out when you get a chance!

  5. Karen says:

    Marriage is one of the most subversive acts two people can commit in a society. You are saying in the most public of ways that you and your partner are joining forces (along with kin and resources) to take on whatever the world hands you…TOGETHER. I think our culture encourages misery and aloneness so folks can fill up on "stuff". Our bad ass married couple rule? "Keep it Simple" Examples? picking up his favorite chips at Wegman's, starting her car on a cold morning without being asked, or just being spending quiet time alone in the same room together. Sorry for blogging on your blog…but your post got me thinking!

    • locits says:

      Now you have said a mouth full !!! I totally agree !!! Thinking about your spouse and showing them with kind gesture are the absolute best.

  6. Pingback: Q: How Do You Know You Are Really Ready to Marry? | Man Wife And Dog Blog

  7. Great 5!!!!! Can I add….honesty,honesty,honesty….modern women should be able to handle and give honesty…..

  8. Ascertainment and attainment of the goals and aims is pivotal and needed. It is utmost and effective for the submission and inculcation of the involvement of the content of the subjects. The curriculum is also very critical and requirement.

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