My Husband Says He Is The President, But I Am Congress

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It’s a little inside joke between us that most times makes me laugh, but every now and then makes me crazy. We communicate (a lot!) about what we want individually and how we think things should be done in our home. I’m arguably the more opinionated one, and a good majority of the time I get my way. (Hey, The Man knows how to pick his battles.) But occasionally my husband feels that I’m way off base on something and that’s when he says, and I quote, “In this house I’m the president, and you’re congress, honey. And in this case, I’m vetoing this bill and sending it back to you to reconsider!” Come on, admit it. It is a pretty hilarious (and spot-on) analogy for the dynamic between a husband and wife, right?

The first time he ever pulled this line on me, I laughed so hard my stomach hurt for hours. After all, he has a point. He loves me and he doesn’t like for us to fight unnecessarily. So like many good husbands out there my husband says he believes that if I’m happy, he will be too, so he likes to think he’s better off giving me my way if the situation if he could honestly care either way. So essentially he “signs” most of my laws. But, because he’s so laid back about my “lawmaking” most days, when he isn’t happy with a new law I’m trying to pass in our home, he reserves the right to “veto” it and send me back to the couch in a huff. Even if I don’t like being shut down when I’m passionate about something (what wife does?), can I really complain? Most of my “laws” get signed with little to no debate, so if my husband is “vetoing” something and sending it back to me to give it further thought, I should give him that respect. This is probably the right things to do, and I usually do. (Honest!) However, my husband also likes to use this “mantra” to his advantage in certain situations, choosing to veto over personal preference rather than because of sensible logic or rational. This is when the gloves come off in our home.

Most recently, The Man vetoed my decision to go out shopping for all the rest of the kitchen appliances and items we really need but didn’t get from our wedding registry. Gibran doesn’t like clutter anywhere – especially the kitchen. So even though we clearly need new juice glasses, cookie sheets, and a crock pot, he’d rather go without for fear of filling up a cabinet completely or having to display an appliance on the counter when it’s not in use rather than tucking it neatly away. We have a problem here. The president has given his reasons for the veto and now I must try to override his decision. Now, here’s where we get to my ultimate gripe about his witty little analogy: If I really were congress, I’d need two-thirds of those present to override his veto on my law. The thing is, I’m only one woman, and so with every veto comes a full-on Man vs. Wife argument because there is no one in our home to serve as a tie-breaker, unless you’re counting The Dog – which would be silly. So, someone will lose whether they had the better case or not and arguably only because they essentially caved in. And now getting to part two of my problem with this scenario: That caver is usually me. Why? Because like I said, I usually get my little “laws” passed all the time, so it’s hard to keep fighting when I start to feel like I might just sound a tad bit like a spoiled rotten wife. (Something my independent spirit could never let me be.) And so I cave and move on without the necessary appliances I need to try some new recipes. End of story. For now at least. I’ll let you know if my little law ever makes its way to passing.

So I pose this question: Can my husband actually be the president of our home, and I be congress? In a two-person household, can his mantra — though very cute — ever really apply? What do you think?


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One Response to My Husband Says He Is The President, But I Am Congress

  1. RenRich says:

    I LOVE it. In our home I generally get all my "laws" passed around here. But he does have veto power and uses it when he feels necessary. In the year we've been married the only thing he's really vetoed was the acquiring of necessary kitchen appliances. We discussed it more than once and came to a decision – we can buy it if I agree to use my closet space (which btw is smaller than his) to store when not in use. We have an apartment with an adorable (small) kitchen. So the juicer, roaster, and crock pot are in their original boxes until needed (on the floor of my closet. Only the blender and toaster are on a counter and the waffle maker has a spot on top of the fridge!
    However, I can see where it would be nice to have a 3rd party to break the tie! If its a serious issue, we've agreed that we would be willing to bring in a neutral 3rd party such as a marriage counselor to help us work through it. If its not a serious issue but it is something important we'll table the discussion and each write out our reasons for wanting whatever it is to happen.

    Thanks for your blog! Love it!

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