This Week In Our Marriage: We Forgot to Make Time For Each Other

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Charli Penn-Watkins Writer Editor Blogger Media Specialist

Food for thought...

This week marriage has been a blur. We’ve been just coming and going, and coming and going. I suppose it’s nothing to really complain about – especially after having had such a wonderful holiday weekend. After exchanging holiday blessings and spirit over the weekend and finding fun ways to beat the blizzard on Monday this week has been a pretty uneventful one. Gibran woke up with an awful cold on Tuesday morning (Note to The Hubby: Don’t go out to enjoy the fresh snow in flip flops and pajamas pants!) and I’ve had a busy work week and a few after work engagements that kept me out late. Since Gibran works the early shift, he goes to work at 3AM, therefore his usual bedtime is around 8pm. (This week it was more like 6pm since he was guzzling Nyquil like water.)
I usually get home around 6pm, but if I do anything after work it’s more like 9pm the earliest. I was out late two night this week after work, both of which I came home to a sick and sleeping husband. He’s been making up the hours he missed while out sick, so he’s been going in even earlier than usual and therefore going to bed before I even get home. When I wake up he’s gone. When he wakes up, I’m asleep. So this week, we really haven’t seen much of each other at all. I know this happens to many couples, and that two people in a marriage often get busy, or ill, but when you realize you’ve barely said two words to the person you love in days, it can be a little disappointing – especially when that person is the person that puts a smile on your face when you’ve had a rough day.

It’s been a great year for us – we got married, we went on an awesome honeymoon, and we spent Thanksgiving in Las Vegas with my little brother. So, don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. But as 2011 is about to roll on in, I can’t help but wonder if the days that will fill the new year could ever come close to topping the high we’ve had in 2010.

Weeks like this one make me think about how important it is to find happiness in the mundane moments in life, and not just in those that are special or celebratory. Had we cooked a meal together, gotten a chance to watch a movie, or just cuddled and watched the news I know we would have enjoyed the connection, even if it were brief. But having felt no real connection all week to my husband has me jotting down ways to make next week different.

They say making your marriage work is always a challenge, even when times are great. This is true. For us, one of those first challenges as husband and wife will be keeping our connection when life is pulling us in different directions. I know I can’t wake my husband up to play Scrabble with me when he has to be to work in a few hours, and he can’t take me away from my job in the morning just because he’s just getting home and settled. But, we can be conscious of the time we’re not getting to spend together and find ways to optimize on any moment (be it brief or not) we may have to connect and enjoy each other. I’m up for the challenge, for sure. Next week I’m thinking of squeezing in an early evening movie at the cinema up the street (anyone seen Meet the Fockers?) or maybe just challenging my husband to a Scrabble marathon (it’s been our thing since day one!). Not sure yet just how we’ll make time for the magic, but next week I’m determined to. Maybe we’ll even start by bringing in the New Year together with a kiss – assuming the hubby feels up to getting out of bed tomorrow night. As of now, still not sure how that will go…

But anyway, I say all of this to say that if you’re in love and busy, that’s okay. Just don’t forget to pencil in an hour or two to say or show how much you love the other person. Of course they know you do, but some days or weeks, seeing is believing, if but only for a moment. :-)

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11 Responses to This Week In Our Marriage: We Forgot to Make Time For Each Other

  1. I love your transparency in this post. Finding balance between love and life is so essential. I think we forget this important element. As a single lady, I've definitely taken note that marriage requires work, planning, and making most of the time you have.

    Thanks Charli!

    • ManWifeDog says:

      @Alisha: Thanks so much for the kind words and for sharing girl. When I set out to write this blog I was determined to be transparent and honest. No journey is perfect. Thanks for appreciating that and for taking a minute to read and share! :-)

  2. I hate weeks like that, too. I really can't schedule more than two post-work things a week because I miss out on too much time with Paul! It really is such a balancing act to keep up with friends, do a great job at work, write blogs, and spend enough time with the hubby!

    • ManWifeDog says:

      Oh yes Meredith I agree. I totally admit to not wanting to fill up too many of my evening for fear that I won't get the proper QT with my husband. I smile when I catch myself canceling in honor of hubby-time. This is because I know it means I love the heck out of my husband, and want more than anything to always feel that passionately about spending time with him. Thanks so much for commenting! You're approved now so your comments should go live right away from now on. :-)

  3. Josef Sawyer says:

    be careful about the not spending time together thing… that's what ended my last relationship…

    And it may seem insignificant because you live together but time apart allows the devil just enough space to do his work…

    • ManWifeDog says:

      Josef, I could not agree more. In the weeks leading up to our wedding SO many things were falling apart around us and some of the most spiritual people I know did say that it is the devil trying to get in. Our bond is tight and trust assured we will not be letting him through our door. Thanks for sharing!

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